117. At this time,
also, I sat under the ministry of holy Mr. Gifford, whose doctrine, by God's
grace, was much for my stability. This man made it much his business to
deliver the people of God from all those false and unsound rests that, by
nature, we are prone to take and make to our souls. He pressed us to take
special heed that we took not up any truth upon trust—as from this, or that, or
any other man or men—but to cry mightily to God that he would convince us of
the reality thereof, and set us down therein, by his own Spirit, in the holy
Word; for, said he, if you do otherwise when temptations come, if strongly,
you, not having received them with evidence from heaven, will find you want
that help and strength now to resist as once you thought you had.
118. This was as
seasonable to my soul as the former and latter rain in their season; for I had
found, and that by sad experience, the truth of these his words; for I had felt
[what] no man can say, especially when tempted by the devil, that Jesus Christ
is Lord but by the Holy Ghost. Wherefore I found my soul, through grace, very
apt to drink in this doctrine, and to incline to pray to God that, in nothing
that pertained to God's glory and my own eternal happiness, he would suffer me
to be without the confirmation thereof from heaven; for now, I saw clearly there
was an exceeding different betwixt the notions of flesh and blood, and the
revelations of God in heaven; also, a great difference between that faith that
is feigned, and according to man's wisdom, and of that which comes by a man's
being born to that of God (Matt 16:15-17; 1 John 5:1).
119. But, oh! now,
how was my soul led from truth to truth by God! even from the birth and cradle
of the Son of God to his ascension and second coming from heaven to judge the
world.
120. Truly, I then
found, upon this account, the great God was very good unto me; for, to my
remembrance, there was not anything that I then cried unto God to make known
and reveal unto me but he was pleased to do it for me; I mean not one part of
the gospel of the Lord Jesus, but I was orderly led into it. Methought I saw
with great evidence, from the relation of the four evangelists, the wonderful
work of God, in giving Jesus Christ to save us, from his conception and birth
even to his second coming to judgment, I Methought I was as if I had seen him
born as if I had seen him grow up as if I had seen him walk through this
world, from the cradle to his cross; to which, also, when he came, I saw how gently
he gave himself to be hanged and nailed on it for my sins and wicked doings.
Also, as I was musing on his progress, which dropped on my spirit, He was
ordained for the slaughter (1 Peter 1:19,20).
121. When I have also considered the truth of his resurrection, and have remembered that word,
"Touch me not, Mary," &c., I have seen as if he leaped at the
grave's mouth for joy that he was risen again, and had got the conquest over
our dreadful foes (John 20:17). I have also, in the spirit, seen him a man on
the right hand of God the Father for me, and have seen the manner of his coming
from heaven to judge the world with glory, and have been confirmed in these
things by these scriptures following, Acts 1:9, 10, 7:56, 10:42; Hebrews 7:24,
8:3; Revelation 1:18; 1 Thessalonians 4:17, 18.
122. Once I was much
troubled to know whether the Lord Jesus was both man as well as God, and God as
well as man; and truly, in those days, let men say what they would, unless I
had it with evidence from heaven, all was as nothing to me, I counted not
myself set down in any truth of God. Well, I was much troubled about this
point, and could not tell how to be resolved; at last, in the fifth of the
Revelation came into my mind, "And I beheld, and lo, amid the
throne and of the four beasts, and amid the elders, stood a
Lamb." Amid the throne, 'thought I,' there is his Godhead; amid the elders, there is his manhood; but oh! methought this did
glister! it was a goodly touch and gave me sweet satisfaction. That other
scripture also did help me much in this, "To us, a child is born, unto us, a
son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall
be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, the
Prince of Peace," &c. (Isa 9:6).
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