Walking in the Light

If we walk in the light as He is in the light . . . the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin —1 John 1:7

Up until the Holy Spirit stepped in to help me understand how I was to walk in the light, all I had was the model that I learned from my previous Church.  Like Oswald mentioned in March 16^th’s devotion “For many of us, walking in the light means walking according to the standards we have set up for another person. The deadliest attitude of the Pharisees that we exhibit today is not hypocrisy but that which comes from unconsciously living a lie” This is so powerful in so many ways that I do not even want to start unravelling it. Even those four tiny words “unconsciously living a lie” we do not have any idea how powerful and how they have merged in our Christian walk like leaven in the dough. In the meantime we are not even aware that the leaven of the Pharisees has found its way into our lives. So, unconsciously, we live this life where we cherish the lies as our truth and we stand on it so proudly, totally clueless.

I found it rather peculiar that to learn to live in the light of God that you have to first be able to withstand that light on you, in your actions and in your heart. This is not easy. When it comes to God, all of us like Adam and Eve, all we want is to hide away from Him. This is not even something the Holy Spirit can do for you. No, He cannot step in the light in your place. When you are summoned to walk into the light, the Holy Spirit can coach you up until it is time to step into the light. Because as you step into the light, you are dealing with God’s judgement of you, as you stand there you have the awareness of your nakedness before God, nothing is hidden and nowhere to hide. It is scary, paralyzing, and shameful to be so exposed before Him.  Imagine Adam and Eve only had one sin yet they needed to hide away from God’s eyes. Imagine now when you have a legion of sin within how hard it is to be in His presence.

Right before you step into His light you can completely see the difference between what you thought was the light you have been walking so far and God’s real light. It is amazing to see the contrast because our light compares  like murky water to God’s.  The big difference lies in the fact that we have a faulty understanding of the meaning of this doctrine. What we call walking in the light, is either made up of the light of our own conscience, our own understanding of the Scriptures and our own standards. 

 Walking in the light goes way deeper than saying “your word is a lamp unto my feet. To get the full picture of our walk in the light we have to understand, and know how is God in the light? What does it mean to Him? If you are used to your basic walk and you are satisfied with yourself, you might say to me that you do not see the need to go deeper and perhaps you might even go as far as believing that I am complicating your life. But, the truth is, His word is clear “If we are to walk in the Light as He is in the Light” We are called to be in the light like Him, His way, by His standards, His hatred for sin, His transparency, His love, His fellowship, His holiness, His need for purity, the need to be truly separated from evil and all that pertains to His standards alone and not ours.  In Him, there is no holding back, nothing hidden from the light, in Him there is no darkness and He delights in the truth.

God has a passionate hatred for sin and until we can see it and grasp it His way, until we can understand in unison with God, not just on the surface or through lip service but through who we have become in Him, we can see and taste and agree with His abhorrence for sin, then we are nowhere close to living in the light of God. Not only God is light and He is so radiant that darkness disappears wherever He is, but we ought to think about living in the light as a lifestyle. It is a lifestyle that goes beyond words, where you have no agenda of your own, nothing up your sleeves and you do not care if you actually can find loopholes in His Word, because you have taken up His agenda and you find delight in His desires for your life. It is a lifestyle where we basically find out that we are actually living out Romans 13:14 where we are clothed with Jesus-Christ our Lord. When you truly put on Christ, you find there is no room to gratify the desires of the flesh. The meaning of gratifying the desires of the flesh here simply refers to a sinful state where you are opposing the Holy Spirit.

I find that there is nothing like putting on and wrapping yourself in Christ to help you live out what Paul said in Philippians 1:21 “ for me to live is Christ and to die is gain”  As you put on Christ, and dancing in oneness and joy with Him, it makes you realize the depth of your limitations in the flesh. You have no idea what happen but somehow you sin. You ask yourself how did I get out of this precious fellowship? While you stand there with no answer, you feel like a child with dirty feet standing in the front door, you cannot come back in, unless you take your dirty shoes off and clean those feet. While you are standing there to be cleansed by His blood to merge in the fellowship again, you can see the contrast in your sinful state and God in His purest form. You don’t even need Him to tell you that you are dirty, you know it. This realization makes more real living in expectancy of the day you will not have to live separated from Him again and again because of sin. Oh! I wish all of us would long for that day.

Blessings to all of you! I am so grateful that my readership has catapulted in a way that I cannot explain. I am grateful to you all. Let's keep going forward toward Him, let's not look back because it is not worth it. Our God is all that we need. No matter what is going on in your life right now, in Him we are more than conquerors. He is real, he is love and He only wants what is good for us. Allow Him to get the work done in you.

To all my kindred brothers and sisters out there, I love you with His Agape love.

Take good care and love others even when you are not loved back and do not allow bitterness to touch your heart at all. 

If you are going through a time where you are not sure what is going on in your Christian walk,  inside you feel empty, sad, overwhelmed and depressed; all of the sudden the Christianity you thought you knew, the Christianity that brought you so much joy is far out of reach. You feel like you are on some kind of automatic pilot. Even faking a smile is hard for you. Then you are going through what Oswald called the discipline of dismay. The discipline of dismay lasts a little while. It is a dark period of your life that your soul needs to go through if your Christianity is to amount to anything to God.

Like Oswald said, we tend to look back on our time of obedience and our past sacrifices to God in an effort to keep our enthusiasm for him strong (see Isaiah 50:10-11) One of the mistake we make is to try and find the enthusiasm back. We do not realize that God is not looking for that enthusiasm, He in fact does not care for it. He wants you to endure the inexplicable pain that you are in right now, while seeking His face and focus on Him like there is no tomorrow.

What Oswald did not know when he wrote that piece is that we are in a time where when the enthusiasm for God is gone, the younger generation falls back on Social Media to seek encouragement.  So they find comfort through those shallow comments these professed Christians have perfected over the years, but with no real meaning to their lives. I noticed as well the younger generation lack guidance and understanding coming from their own family. If they had parents living deeper Christian lives with Him, parents who have gone through the process with God, those younger people would have a better understanding of what is going on and would stop in seeking for the type of band-aid comfort they find on Social Media. 

What we do not realize, when God takes us through a time of dismay, it is indeed a good thing for our soul and our walk with Him. While we are there, it does not seem it is possible that any good can come of it because there is so much confusion just trying to understand why we are where we are with Him. But, it is good because God is taking you beyond a time where you can bypass the sense of self-satisfaction you get from your Bible reading, prayer time, and Christian activities. He is taking you deeper into Him. The sad thing is, until God takes you there, you would never realize that you have been living a self-satisfying kind of Christian life.

This phase is mandatory, the waiting process, His silence, the fact that you do not recognize Him and He is becoming more and more like a stranger to you. The protest that you will go through, the soul searching, the lack of answers from Him, are all part of the process. The attitude He is looking for is for you to surrender it all to Him, for you to stop protesting, for you to trust those words you have been reading in the Bible and trust that He is a faithful God. When you go through it with the right attitude, you position yourself to receive more of His grace.

It is a time of great depression and no matter what you do, your soul cannot get out of it. Don’t despair, and don’t panic. If you surrender through the process, I promise you, He will take care of you in the same way He took care of Elijah when he was running for his life and God sent an Angel to feed Him and care for him.  He will take care of you in the same way He took care of Paul who was so discouraged that nothing could revive his soul, God had to send an angel on three occasions to reassure him and strengthen him.

So, if you are going to a dark time with Him, I beg of you, stop seeking for temporary shallow satisfaction. It is a time to hang on to Him more than ever. It is the perfect time to test Hebrews 13:5 “I will never desert you nor forsake you.”  Trust in the God of your Salvation. Look to His Cross. It is hard to let go of all we know and to hang on to Him especially at a time where we have no answer and He seems more absent than we have ever experienced. But it is okay. It will feel as if you are asked to let go of something that is holding you nicely and help you stand up, for something you have no idea what it is, where it is, what it is made of. In fact within yourself, you have no desire of letting go of something you can see for something you cannot see. But, your soul needs to go through it all. Your soul needs to learn to trust what it cannot see

  

That’s exactly what He wants from you. Even though nothing makes sense to you, I beg of you to trust Him and He will not fail you.

In essence, what you are doing during this period, is giving up your identity to take on His!

Here is Oswald Chambers's devotion for today

The Discipline of Dismay

03

15

2013

As they followed they were afraid —Mark 10:32

At the beginning of our life with Jesus Christ, we were sure we knew all there was to know about following Him. It was a delight to forsake everything else and to throw ourselves before Him in a fearless statement of love. But now we are not quite so sure. Jesus is far ahead of us and is beginning to seem different and unfamiliar— “Jesus was going before them; and they were amazed” (Mark 10:32).

There is an aspect of Jesus that chills even a disciple’s heart to its depth and makes his entire spiritual life gasp for air. This unusual Person with His face set “like a flint” (Isaiah 50:7) is walking with great determination ahead of me, and He strikes terror right through me. He no longer seems to be my Counselor and Friend and has a point of view about which I know nothing. All I can do is stand and stare at Him in amazement. At first I was confident that I understood Him, but now I am not so sure. I begin to realize that there is a distance between Jesus and me and I can no longer be intimate with Him. I have no idea where He is going, and the goal has become strangely distant.

Jesus Christ had to understand fully every sin and sorrow that human beings could experience, and that is what makes Him seem unfamiliar. When we see this aspect of Him, we realize we really don’t know Him. We don’t recognize even one characteristic of His life, and we don’t know how to begin to follow Him. He is far ahead of us, a Leader who seems totally unfamiliar, and we have no friendship with Him.

The discipline of dismay is an essential lesson which a disciple must learn. The danger is that we tend to look back on our times of obedience and on our past sacrifices to God in an effort to keep our enthusiasm for Him strong (see Isaiah 1:10-11). But when the darkness of dismay comes, endure until it is over, because out of it will come the ability to follow Jesus truly, which brings inexpressibly wonderful joy

Courtesy of: http://utmost.org/

Example of a Godly Wife

The Wife's Rule by James Smith

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord." Ephesians 5:22

The comfort of home very much depends on the wife, and the happiness of the husband is greatly in her power. The wife has often ruined the husband, or rendered the marriage-tie a subject of deep regret. An ungovernable temper, a proud spirit, a wish to conform to all the fashions of the present world — has rendered many a Christian's home really miserable!

Submission is difficult — where pride rules in the spirit! Yes, it is impossible! And yet, without submission on the part of the wife, happiness will never be the portion of the husband. Submission is the wife's duty: the Holy Spirit says, "As the church is subject unto Christ — so let the wives be unto their own husbands in everything." A submissive disposition, and a meek quiet spirit — are two of the most beautiful ornaments a wife can wear.

Every Christian woman should look upon her husband as the representative of Christ in the family, and submit to him as such. Her submission should extend to everything which does not run counter to the commands of God. The less a wife desires to have her own will — the better for her own comfort.

In consequence of sin, the Lord said, "Your desire shall be to your husband — and he shall rule over you." And this declaration of God stands in full force at the present day, "The husband is the head of the wife — even as Christ is the head of the church." In these different epistles, has the Holy Spirit spoken to wives, and commanded them to submit to their husbands; this may imply that the duty is difficult — but it testifies that the duty is imperative.

The wife should love her own husband — as the church loves Christ; and strive by every possible means to make him happy and honourable. She should strive to make his home the most comfortable, never meeting him at his return with a frown, or hailing him with a cross word; but her countenance should be lighted up with love, and on her lips should be the law of kindness. A woman's love, judiciously manifested — is almost invincible! But an evil temper indulged by a wife — is most repulsive! Nothing weakens a husband's love, or raises a husband's temper, like cross words or unpleasant looks from his wife. They never ought to be; but if they have been, they should be confessed with sorrow, and conquered with care.

The wife should bear in mind, that her husband is a Christian; that Jesus tenderly loves him; that He has made him His representative; that He requires her to submit to him in His name, and for His sake: and that He looks upon her disobedience — as directed against His authority; and her unkindness to her husband — as grieving His love.

My sister, it is your duty to learn subjection, for the Lord's sake, to imbibe and manifest a meek, lowly, and submissive spirit; a spirit that will yield everything for conscience' sake, unless in so doing you would sin against God.

Oh, if wives were willing to submit, if they only consulted the happiness of their husbands, if they made the precepts of the gospel their rule — what happy homes, what happy husbands they would have!

"Let the wife see that she respect her husband." But is this the case, even with godly wives? Can it be neglected, and the Spirit who commanded — not be grieved? Can the Spirit be daily grieved, by conduct the very opposite of His command — and the Christian be happy? It is impossible! See then one cause why so many wives are in such an unhappy and uncomfortable a state!

Chaste conversation should be coupled with fear — a fear to grieve, wound, or distress a husband's mind. Sarah, who obeyed and reverenced Abraham, should be the wife's daily pattern. No wife can be happy, no wife can be ornamental, no wife can have the testimony of a good conscience — unless she observes the precept, "Wives submit yourselves unto your husbands — as unto the Lord."

Yesterday and today's post go well with Oswald Chambers today, so I could not resist it

Yielding

03

14

2013

. . . you are that one’s slaves whom you obey . . . —Romans 6:16

The first thing I must be willing to admit when I begin to examine what controls and dominates me is that I am the one responsible for having yielded myself to whatever it may be. If I am a slave to myself, I am to blame because somewhere in the past I yielded to myself. Likewise, if I obey God I do so because at some point in my life I yielded myself to Him.

If a child gives in to selfishness, he will find it to be the most enslaving tyranny on earth. There is no power within the human soul itself that is capable of breaking the bondage of the nature created by yielding. For example, yield for one second to anything in the nature of lust, and although you may hate yourself for having yielded, you become enslaved to that thing. (Remember what lust is— “I must have it now,” whether it is the lust of the flesh or the lust of the mind.) No release or escape from it will ever come from any human power, but only through the power of redemption. You must yield yourself in utter humiliation to the only One who can break the dominating power in your life, namely, the Lord Jesus Christ. “. . . He has anointed Me . . . to proclaim liberty to the captives . . .” (Luke 4:18 and Isaiah 61:1).

When you yield to something, you will soon realize the tremendous control it has over you. Even though you say, “Oh, I can give up that habit whenever I like,” you will know you can’t. You will find that the habit absolutely dominates you because you willingly yielded to it. It is easy to sing, “He will break every fetter,” while at the same time living a life of obvious slavery to yourself. But yielding to Jesus will break every kind of slavery in any person’s life

Courtesy of http://utmost.org/

Check out the devotion/prayers section of my site: http://www.intothyword.us/

A Godly Christian Husband's Example

By James Smith

"Husbands, love your wives — even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it." Ephesians 5:25

This language is especially addressed to Christians; the Holy Spirit speaks on the wife's behalf. The husband and his wife are one. The union is most intimate and important, and it is for life. It should therefore be formed with much prayer, prudence, and reflection. And being formed, each party should strive to make it a means of blessing to the other, by closely attending to the precepts of Holy Scripture. No godly man should, under any pretense, marry an unsaved woman; for it is impossible to obey the precepts of the gospel, under such circumstances.

The husband is to love his wife, not merely for her beauty, her amiable temper, or her attention to him; but he is to love her for Christ's sake, as a part of His mystical body, as dear to His heart, and appointed to reign with Him in glory.

The husband will never love his wife as he should, unless he views her in Christ, considers her as one with Christ, and remembers that Jesus takes unkindness shown to her — as shown to himself. The wife must be loved not only for her own sake, not merely as a woman; but for the sake of Christ, who redeemed her by His blood, who loves her with an infinite love, and who is jealous of any slight shown or unkindness manifested to her.

Every husband who professes to be a Christian, should view his wife as in Christ; and remember that Jesus says — speaking of His saints, "He who touches you, touches the apple of His eye." Acting thus, he would be better able to bear with her infirmities and imperfections; and would be led to plead for her more earnestly with her God. Viewing her as Christ's, and also as his own flesh, he would always have a garment at hand to cast over her faults, and his love would cover the multitude of sins. A perfect wife is not to be expected.

The husband should be the representative of Christ to his wife, loving her as Christ loves His church. Oh, what tenderness, what gentleness, what kindness, what sympathy, what condescension should be shown! If Jesus is to be the husband's pattern, if the husband endeavors to imitate Him — then how happy will the wife be made — how comfortable will the house become — how honorable will the marriage state appear!

Jesus so loved the church as to give Himself for her, even when she was most unlovely; and He so loves her as to give her all He has, even His glory. He never takes His eye off of her. He bears with her, pleads with His Father for her, sympathizes with her in every affliction, and will not allow anything to alienate His affections from her. There is not a sigh which escapes her — but it touches His heart; nor is a pain which is felt by her — but it enters His bosom.

Husbands, see your pattern. Look at the meekness, gentleness, forbearance, and tender love of Jesus, and see how you ought to act toward your dear wife. Look at your wife, and look at His Church, and ask: Is it possible for your wife to be as fickle, as false, as provoking, as ungrateful — as His church? See what He bears with, forgives, and forgets in His people — and then ask: What have you to bear with and forgive? Look at what Jesus is to His bride, and what you are to yours, and then answer.

Do you imitate His example? Oh, what happy homes would the houses of Christians be, if every husband loved his wife — as Jesus loves His church; if every husband cared for his wife — as Jesus cares for His church; if every husband consulted the honor and happiness of his wife — as Jesus consults the honor and happiness of His Church.

My brother, the Holy Spirit says, you ought to love your wife as your own body, as your own self; yes, as Christ loved the church, who gave Himself for it. Your love should be tender, constant, uniform, and as manifest as the love of Jesus is. Let there be no bitterness, or contempt, or treating the wife as an inferior; but give honor unto her as the weaker vessel. Love her in Jesus; love her as Jesus bids you; love her and be happy!

Family Prayer

By James Smith

"Pour out your fury upon the heathen that have not known you, and upon the families do not call upon your name!" Jeremiah 10:25

Family prayer is a most important means of grace, and has often proved one of the greatest blessings which a family could enjoy. It is not enough that we pray as private individuals in our closets; we must honor God in our families. Twice in the day if we can, at least once — every family where Jesus is professed, should be called to bow before the Lord together. Parents and children, master and servants, should meet before the Lord their maker. The head of the family should lead the devotions if present; and his wife should lead, should he be absent. Family prayer should never be omitted if there is one of the family at home who can call upon God; even if the language is broken, and the time occupied is very brief. The gift of prayer always grows by use, and smallness of gift is no lawful excuse for omitting family prayer. If we cannot pray eloquently, we may pray earnestly — which is much better; if our language does not flow freely, we need not be long and tedious. Prevailing prayers are often short prayers.

Family devotions should generally be short, especially where there are young children, A short portion of God's holy Word should be read; and it has often been found profitable to read a few striking remarks on some spiritual subject, by an approved author. If those present can sing, a few verses of praise greatly enliven the service; if not, a short prayer, being a direct address to Jehovah, offered with feeling and fervor, under a sense of the divine presence, is very edifying and refreshing. God approves, an enlightened conscience commends, and all are benefited.

Family prayer will prevent much sin, as well as do much good. It keeps up a remembrance of the divine presence, it brings important truths before the mind, it teaches the prayerless what prayer is, it leads children to think, and brings down the blessing of God upon the house. We are to pray with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit; but this we cannot do if family prayer is neglected. We are to pray everywhere, lifting up holy hands without wrath and doubting; this cannot be observed, if we do not pray in our families. He who would excuse himself from family prayer, should expect to be excused from family blessings.

Reader, have you family prayer in your house? If not, allow me to ask, do you profess to be a Christian? Have you considered the solemn passage at the head of these remarks? If God is to pour out his fury upon the families which call not upon his name, and you have not family prayer, how can your family escape? You ought to own God in your house, and daily should you acknowledge your dependence upon Him, and obligation to Him. All your domestic comforts, all your temporal mercies, and all your spiritual privileges — flow from His love and grace; and will you daily as a family receive, and never as a family praise?

The heathens have their household gods; and will not you have your family altar? Shall they honor idols of wood and stone, and must it be said of you, "The God in whose hands your breath is — you have not glorified?" An old divine says, "A family without prayer is like a house without a roof, opened and exposed to all the storms." Again, "Family prayer bolts the door against danger at night, and opens it for the admission of mercies in the morning." Private prayer was never intended to set aside family prayer, nor should family prayer be made an excuse for the neglect of private. The one is for the person, the other for the household. Both are necessary, and properly conducted both are means of blessing.

The Backslider's Petition

"Restore unto me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with your free spirit." Psalm 51:12

Backsliding not only dishonors God — but it strips the believer of his joy, and leaves him disconsolate and dejected. This was the case with David; he had suffered much, and he feared more; and looking back upon his past experience, he prayed for the return of his joy. He had been happy, for he had known the joyful sound, and walked in the light of the Lord's countenance.

There is happiness in true religion. The gospel is glad tidings of great joy. A knowledge of a saving interest in all its privileges and blessings, causes us to rejoice in God; and its application by the power of the Holy Spirit, produces the most delightful effects:

guilt is purged from the conscience, 
peace flows into the heart, 
acceptance with God is realized, 
access to God with confidence is enjoyed, 
and Heaven appears to be opening to the view.
But sin robs the soul of all comfort — the backslider cannot be happy. There may be a sense of need — but there is no feeding on the bread of life; there may be clear views — but there is no heart-warming appropriation; there may be the form of godliness kept up — but there is little of the power of it known in experience. There is prayer to God, perhaps — but no fellowship with God. 

Christ is honorable in the judgment — but not sensibly precious to the heart. The life and savor of godliness is gone; for these can only exist in connection with . . .
a clear eye, 
a tender conscience, 
an honest heart, 
and a holy walk; 
for unless we walk with God, we shall not savor of God.

In such a state of declension, a backslider may be allowed to remain for some time; but the Lord will look upon him again; and this will produce . . .
painful convictions, 
cutting regrets, 
bitter remorse, and 
deep humbling of soul before God.
Then the man . . .
sees his folly, 
feels his guilt, 
condemns his conduct, 
mourns over his condition, 
and pants for a revival of piety in his soul.

Now the backslider prays, prays in bitterness of soul, prays for a restoration. He cannot comfort himself, he refuses to be comforted by others, and is only willing to be comforted by God. Now he feels that he can sin away his comforts — but that none but God can restore them. This . . .
shows our weakness, 
teaches us our dependence, 
exhibits our folly, and 
corrects us for wandering from God.

The joy of salvation is a gift from God, as well as salvation itself; and though we may be saved by grace, we shall not enjoy our salvation, unless God anoints us with, "the oil of joy." To feel that we are saved, to have the Spirit witnessing with our spirits to the fact, is joy unspeakable; and it was for this the Psalmist prayed, and for this every backslider pleads.

But he seeks not only a restoration of joy — but the upholding of the Spirit of adoption; his past conduct and the present experience taught him the need of the constant presence and power of the Spirit. His prayer now is, "Hold me up — and I shall be safe!" He perceives that . . .
his way is slippery, 
his heart is false, 
his corruptions are strong, 
his foes are watchful, and 
his temptations are powerful
 — and he cries: Let your free Spirit watch me, influence me, guide me, and preserve me from sin and folly!

The Lord, who knows our need, has promised his Holy Spirit, and He warns us against self-confidence. But it is seldom that anything but bitter experience convinces us of our need of His daily supplies.
Reader, are you a backslider? Have you left your first love, and lost your sweet joys? Are you convinced of your folly and your sin? Do not despond — but pray. Yield not to fear — but mourn over your folly. Go to the throne of grace, place yourself before your injured Savior, and encourage that sorrow which is unto repentance. Frankly confess your sin, do not palliate it or attempt to excuse it, for it is inexcusable. 

Appeal to the mercy of your God, 
plead His promises to the backslider, 
hope in His Word, 
wait His time, 
and He, "will restore comfort unto you."

Do not despair, however keen your sense of guilt may be; but like Jonah, "look again;" with Ephraim, "bemoan yourself;" and with David pray, "Cast me not away from your presence, take not your Holy Spirit from me; restore unto me the joy of your salvation; and uphold me with your free Spirit."
Beware of spiritual declension in future; keep a jealous eye over self; be especially careful over yourself in reference to the closet— there backsliding generally begins; but though it begins there, it never ends there.

The Backslider's Resolution

by James Smith


"I will go and return to my first husband; for then was it better with me than now!" Hosea 2:7
Nothing is more common than backsliding — and yet nothing is more criminal. He who thus backslides — troubles his own heart and mind too.

By the gospel we are espoused to Jesus, by grace we are united to Him; and when we profess religion we say, "I will be for you — and not for another. I will seek my happiness in your love, my supplies from your fullness, and my direction from your Word. I will aim at your honor, devote myself to your cause, and surrender myself to be ruled and guided by you alone!"

For a time after conversion — the love of Jesus charms us, the appointments of Jesus delight us, and the authority of Jesus binds us. We walk with Him in peace and holiness. But listening to Satan, yielding to the working of unbelief in our hearts, or conforming to the present evil world — we gradually backslide from Him:
our private fellowship with Him becomes less fervent and frequent; 
our thoughts of Him less interesting and sweet; 
our concern for His glory decays; 
selfishness increases, and is fostered;
and we leave our first love.

The sin is inexcusable, 
the folly great, and 
the consequences always painful, and sometimes fearful.
But here is one convinced of his folly, sorry for his sin, and determined to return.

"I will go," and humble myself at His feet, and confess my crime. I will seek to be restored to His favor and the enjoyment of His love. I will ask to be again employed in His service. I will beg to be received into His house. I am willing to be a servant, to do the lowest work, to be humbled to the lowest degree — if I may be but allowed to see His face, hear His voice, and once more enjoy His smile. He alone can satisfy me. His pardoning mercy alone can reach my case, and His gracious presence alone afford me comfort. I am wretched without Him. Emptiness and vanity are written upon everything around me! I deserve to be banished from His presence. He would be just if He sent me to Hell. But I must venture before Him, I must plead with Him, I must be again admitted into His favor — or I die!

"I will go," 
though conscience accuses me, 
though His Word condemns me, 
though Satan opposes me, 
though my heart misgives me, 
though saints slight and discourage me.

"I will go and return" — for He was my husband, my joy, my delight, my all. I cannot live without Him, I can but die before Him; but no — no sinner, not even a backsliding sinner, ever perished at His feet.
"I will go and return to my first husband; for then was it better with me than now!" I remember the days of old, the season of my first love — how sweet, how delightful my experience! Then the presence of God raised me above my trials, and filled me with joy unspeakable. 

Then I had power over sin, and I could crucify the flesh with its affections and lusts. Then I enjoyed freedom from care — casting all my care upon Him, assured that He cared for me. Then I was indulged with discoveries of His love, which made it almost impossible to doubt. Then I found profit and pleasure in all the means of grace and ordinances of His appointment. Then I had joy and peace in believing.

But oh! How different has it been with me since! Instead of the highway of holiness, and the paths of pleasantness and peace — my way has been hedged up with thorns! Instead of holy contentment and inward satisfaction — I have had constant vexation and disappointment. It was indeed better with me once, than now!

But my injured Lord, my longsuffering Savior, my gracious God, is saying, "Return, you backsliding children, and I will heal your backslidings!" And my heart says, "Behold, I come unto you, for you are the Lord my God." "O Lord, our God, other lords besides you have ruled over us, but your name alone do we honor." Thus says the Lord, "I will heal your backslidings, I will love you freely, for my anger is turned away from you. I will restore comfort unto you and to your mourners."

"Lord, I bow with deep contrition 
Low before your throne of grace;
Heal me in your kind compassion, 
While I seek your smiling face.
Where — but to a bleeding Savior, 
Should I come for life and peace?

Nothing but your boundless favor 
Can my burdened soul release!
You have witnessed my transgression, 
You have seen my load of guilt;
Witness now my deep confession. 
You whose precious blood was spilt.
Oh, this sin of covenant-breaking!
Can You, will You, Lord, forgive? 

Shall I hear your mercy speaking?
Can you bid me look and live?
Pardon, peace, and consolation,
At your bleeding cross I see; 
There I take my humble station,
There I give my soul to Thee."