When You Are Hemmed In On Every Sides By Life Circumstances!

You know, my life seems to be an endless invitation for hardships to come and surround me. For some reasons I am constantly facing hopeless circumstances. Often I feel like I am hemmed in by God on all sides.  I guarantee you that I do not go out of my ways to get in trouble with God. If I want to be honest with all of you, I would have to confess that sometimes I ask myself if Christianity is all in my imagination because my heart, common sense, and wisdom cannot comprehend how is it, a God that is called a “God of love” would allow so much to come into one’s life and for so long. So, the only logical conclusion is “the whole Christianity thing is a hoax”

But, I thank my God that those moments when my strength fails to carry me through, I can find refuge and comfort in knowing:

1)                 He will carry me through

2)                 My common sense and finite understanding will never take me to the heights He has in mind for me.

3)                 Christianity is truly a sacrificial life to the highest degree.

4)                Because I am not privy to God’s higher purpose, my part in all this is to endure my lot with my mouth shut and my heart opened wide to take it in, according to His will.

5)                 Christ never misled His true followers and never promised a bed of roses down here on earth.

6)                 For all I know, my endurance of it all could be something between God and Satan, like in Job’s situation. So, not trusting Him all the way, no matter how painful and lengthy of a process I am in, could be causing God to lose face vis a vis Satan.

7)                 Through watching my painful life unfolding, I can see God’s hand on me, taking me back to the God that I know, the invisible God that I have seen with my heart and soul. He does that to reassure my soul and alleviate the pain. So, today, the Spirit told me “have you noticed how life got more difficult for Jesus?  Think about His pain to leave heaven behind! The pain of being dependent on earthly parents to care for Him as in infant! The humiliation of being obedient as a child and earthly parents! Think about what it must have been like for Him living over thirty years in obscurity amongst his brothers and sisters in His households!”

Then, the Spirit continued by saying “think about how bad and painful things got for Him when He reached the culminating point of His ministry, did things get easier? No, because every day was a test, a trial, opportunity for more shame, more persecution, less acceptance of Him and who He was in me? ‘WHY SHOULD YOUR LIFE BE DIFFERENT?’”

I also learned something else. Often times when we are going through hardships and life is tossing us like a ping pong ball, it is hard to put our hands on who to grab onto through the Bible’s heroes. If you are like me, you try to find whether Paul life would do better or Abraham, or David, or Joseph etc. But, the Spirit said to me the closer you get to me and the deeper this life in me, the more you need to let go of your role models and grab onto Christ.

Perhaps you are not like me and this is my own weakness that God has to deal with. But I knew He had put His fingers on one of my weaknesses that needed to change. This weakness of mine is that I am constantly seeking to model myself after one of those heroes of the Bible like Abraham, David, the Apostles etc. I am always trying to find out how one of them would handle the situation that I am in, so that I can walk with God. Understand that I aim to please Him. But, secretly in my heart, I am hoping that He would apply their timeline to my hardship so that I could see an end to it. I also try to convince myself why my timeline should be much less, because I am not in their league. Cultivating this kind of frame of mind causes me to always expect to be free as soon as possible, because I put in my time.

God made it clear to me that it was not up to me to hang onto those heroes and expect the outcome to turn good for me, like He did for them. i.e, everything was restored to Job, David received his crown, Joseph got his days in the sun, etc. He basically told me that it was not my business how and when He decide this awful life I have been living most of my Christian life with Him.

He taught me, as you and I grow spiritually, we reach a time where it is not enough to model after Paul or Joseph, or Abraham. The only source of hope, faith, trust and the only one who can write the ending of our circumstances, is Him and that should be sufficient for me. “LOOK ONTO ME”

This lesson happened early this morning as I woke up kind of nostalgic and with such a mood to meditate on Him before I do anything else. So, I started reading my devotion books and I was surprised to see Oswald Chamber’s devotion. I could not help smiling because I realized once again His sense of humor and His way of making provision for the hour, will always get me.

The lesson I learned today, even though my situation seems desperate and painful, and even though I need God to come to my rescue today, right now and even though He remains silent. I cannot fret.

I FEEL LIKE I AM SITTING ON THE TRAIN TRACKS, THE TRAIN IS ONLY A FEW STEPS AWAY FROM ME, AT FULL SPEED,YET GOD IS TELLING ME DON’T MOVE, TRUST ME, & DO NOT FRET!

HERE IS OSWALD CHAMBERS JULY 04 DEVOTION

Christ in Adversities

Octavius Winslow, 1863

"Surely, I am with you always — even unto the end of the world!" Matthew 28:20

In the temporal calamities and adversities of this life, in the vicissitudes of commerce, in the pressure of poverty — it is equally our privilege to plead in prayer and faith, this appropriate and precious promise of the Savior, and invoke His interposition, support, and aid.

Our Lord, when on earth, never showed Himself indifferent to the temporal necessities of man. We read that He had compassion on the multitude, because they had nothing to eat; and in the exercise of His sympathy, and in the interposition of His power — fed thousands with bread. He is still the same today.

Have your commercial transactions met with a reverse? Are you actually under the pressure of poverty — your wife and your little ones crying for bread? Go in prayer, my brother, and plead in childlike faith this gracious promise of Jesus, "Surely, I am with you always," and you shall not plead in vain.

Ah, yes! He has sent, He has permitted this calamity but to show you how near He is to you, how He will, as of old, tenderly compassionate your need, and then, in the boundlessness of His divine resources, abundantly supply it. See Christ, and Christ alone — in your present distress. Bow uncomplainingly, cheerfully, to His will. Lean confidingly, unwaveringly upon His arm. Trust His goodness, faithfulness, and power. And, oh, if this temporal calamity, this worldly sorrow — but draws your soul to Christ; if now you are aroused to prayer, and are led to turn to God, to seek spiritual blessing, the "bread of life," without which you perish, the "true riches" of grace on earth and of glory in heaven — then through eternity you will praise the Savior for the overwhelming calamity which saved your soul, as by fire.

Turn now, amid crushed hopes, wrecked fortune, the biting and the cries of poverty — to Him whose providence can cause the barrel of meal and the cruse of oil not utterly to fail, and whose grace can so sanctify your affliction and chasten your sorrow — as to make this present adversity the sweetest, holiest, costliest blessing of your life.

Yes! Christ is with you always — all your days! He is with you in the inexperience and temptations of your youth — to counsel and keep you! He is with you in the cares and anxieties of manhood — to sustain and soothe you! He is with you the feebleness, infirmity, and loneliness of old age — to be your staff and comfort. Christ is ever with you in widowhood — to vindicate your nights and cheer your desolation! He is with you in your lonely orphanage — to be to you as a father and a friend! He is with you in all the adversities and vicissitudes of life, its changing scenes and dying friends!

In the total absence of the kind sympathy for which you yearn, the affection for which you pant, the counsel and protection which you need — Christ will in your experience make good to the letter, His precious promise, "Surely, I am with you always!" Oh! to have His presence with you in these circumstances, you can well afford to part with all others.

You are perhaps anticipating a trial, and, like the disciples in the transfiguration — you fear as you enter into the cloud, the portentous shadow of which is darkening and closing around you. But how groundless were their fears! and equally so are yours. Christ was with them in the cloud, and a Father's voice issued from its bosom. Never were they more honored, or more safe. The same Christ, the same almighty, loving Friend — is with you in the cloud which now you so much dread. Oh, trust your trembling soul to Him!

Is it the heart's wrench you fear? Is it mental despondency you dread? Is it bodily suffering from which you shrink? Is it temporal loss you anticipate? "I am with you always!" is the soothing, assuring promise with which Jesus would have you meet it. He will strengthen, sustain, soothe, and comfort you — with His blissful presence at the moment of the trial. Trust Him now! He never yet belied Himself, never broke this precious promise in a solitary instance.

"As your day — so shall your strength be." "As your day!" His presence will dissipate the gloom, quell the fear, hush the murmur, deaden the suffering; and, thus encircled by His arms — He will bear you through it, to the eternal praise and glory of His name!

In all our distresses and adversities — Christ is ever with us. Friend of sinners! Lord of saints! my trembling spirit shrinks; I fear as I enter into this cloud! Be sensibly near me. Let me feel Your hand, hear Your voice, realize Your presence — then shall I fear no evil, for You are with me, Your rod and Your staff will support and comfort me. "Surely, I am with you; I will be with you. Fear not." Enough, my gracious Lord! I will now enter into the cloud; I will gird me for the trial, and, supported by Your grace and soothed by Your love — will glorify You in the fire!

Christ in Sickness

"Surely, I am with you always — even unto the end of the world!" Matthew 28:20

Octavius Winslow, 1863

Christ is ever with you — in sickness. There are some trials which in an especial manner bring Christ near to us. There is a secret in all sorrow — there is a deep secret in sickness. To whom can the sufferer confide it? The disease, perhaps, perplexes the judgment or baffles the skill of the physician. 

The nervous irritability, the mental sensitiveness, the extreme weakness, the acute agony which renders the sound of the gentlest footfall too powerful for the frame — may be but little understood by the most considerate, tender watchers at your side. They, perhaps — but little know what heroic fortitude, what patient endurance of spirit — lie concealed beneath all this uncomplaining suffering, what an incessant conflict is waging, and by what a superhuman struggle — the mastery is obtained of the mind over the body, and of God's grace over both.

How difficult it is to suppress irritation, and how hard to express gratitude, when even the smile of love and the tear of compassion can awaken no responsive feeling — where all is pain, uneasiness, and despondency!

But Christ is ever with you in your sickness! You may not always be sensible of it. Your physical infirmities may absorb all thought and consciousness, but that of suffering and languor, depriving you of the sensible enjoyment of the Lords presence. Notwithstanding, He is at your side, watching you with sleepless love, supporting with His own grace — the spiritual depression of your soul; and mitigating with His own power — the anguish of your bodily sufferings.

Think of the human and tender considerateness of Christ! He knows your frame, and remembers that you are dust, and does not exact and expect from you, more than you are capable of experiencing. Blessed sickness — that leads the mind more fully into the conscious presence of Christ — that pillows the restless head upon His changeless love — that realizes the encircling of His omnipotent arm beneath the sinking frame — that attunes the discordant will into sweeter and more perfect harmony with His — that gently molds the soul to His own meek and patient spirit! Oh, holy lessons, precious truths, costly blessings — learned and experienced on a bed of sickness and of suffering! And were this the only blessing — the clinging, soothing, sustaining presence of Christ with the sick one He loves, it were enough.

Follow Me ─ Why Do So Many Give Up? ─ Part One

As I was comparing Oswald Chambers’s devotion for June 12 and June 13, I grinned with a pain in my heart knowing full well, those two little words “follow Me” are jam-packed with unexpected surprises and detours. I don’t think you will ever meet a true Christian who has decided to follow and was not shocked at finding out what Christ’s standards of “follow Me” meant.  When we find out what “follow Me” truly means to Him, we find we have two options. We either keep going through the toils and the snares or you let the tiredness of the journey gets to you, and you stop walking with Him.   As we chose the last option, we never realize that the next step is backsliding. Although, it makes sense that we backslide when we stop following, because true Christianity is a journey where we have to keep going forward with the Holy Spirit.

I remember one Sunday after service I was talking to an elder of the Church and he was also the past chairman. I guess because he did not see me as a threat, he was telling me how he got tired on the road with no courage left to pick up and follow after Him. Since he knew I was part of the prayer team, he told me to pray for Him. But, as he kept talking I found out this man stopped following so long ago, even before he became an elder. He knew exactly which event took place in his life that caused him to stop. Yet as he was talking he kept saying, it was other people’s fault that caused him to be discouraged. In the meantime he had no idea that I was shocked beyond beliefs. 

This happened after I just started the wilderness path with God, so I did not have enough knowledge and the boldness that comes from walking with Him, to respond to him.  As I assessed what I was being told, I realized this mild mannered man knew the Scriptures well enough and carried himself in a manner that would make anyone who is not walking in the Spirit, to appreciate and trust him enough to make him chairman of the Church. Yet, from what he told me, even though I was not mature enough, I knew he did not get to the place where he stopped following after God, because of other people. His problem was only his need to follow while holding onto his own self interests. He wanted both at any cost.  

In my limitation of God way and knowledge, I could see one of his major problems was learning dependence on God.  In all the leadership positions he held, he could not understand why it was so hard to get other Christians to do things as they are told and to understand they were working for the Lord. Ironically, he could not see this was exactly what he was doing to Christ. By then I was a Christian for about seven years and I just started the process of following Him in the wilderness. Not knowing what those words “follow Me” fully entails, I kept asking myself how did this man manage to get to this stage with God?

You see, in my mind, I had a good idea what it meant to follow after Him, I knew I needed to die to self and I knew I needed to depend on Him. What I did not know was, thinking and reading about dying to self was not the same thing as experiencing it. Even though we read some of the apostle’s stories in the Bible, along with people like David and Joseph, they do not come close to preparing us to go through Christ’s demands as we follow wholeheartedly. When God decides to deal with you so you can shed the self-life, you find out, what those people endured over two thousands years ago, is still going on right now because God, being in the business of making holy people one by one, He is still acting in the same way today. By the same token, we have no idea until God shows us who we are, that our self interest has a life on its own, so much so it seems bigger than life. And in the eyes of God this self interest life got to go.

I don’t think there is one of us who has not found out the hard way at our own expenses the meaning of those words “follow Me” Through finding out at my own expenses, I know, as the Spirit of God works in us, we can see that the path forward is so not appealing that we are not looking forward to it. Yet, God has a way of burning the bridges right behind you and you find out you cannot go back. What I find interesting about God, is that He would burn bridges which prevent you from going back, but He will not force you to go forward because the only way you can keep going forward is through dependence on Him. Because your measure of dependence on Him will depend on your faith in Him, to some extend, it make sense that He cannot force you to go forward with Him.

Letting go of our self-interests, is soooo painful and the pain does not seem to end because there is always something we are holding onto that needs to be surrendered to Him.  

This morning as I was reading Oswald Chambers devotion, it dawned on me that something that happened to me so many years ago was right there in the Bible, yet, I had no idea it was written in one of the books that I love so much, the Romans.

When I first entered the wilderness with Him, He gave me two solemn warnings. One was that voice I heard when I was by myself in the house. The voice was loud and so clear that I did not move for a few seconds. All I heard was “nothing in this life is about you” This was the first and the last time I heard His voice that way. I also understand later on, He spoke to me that way because I have not acquired the discipline of hearing Him in my heart yet.

Through the message, I knew “hard time” was coming but I was not prepared for what was ahead for me and I am glad I did not know the full scope. Right after this message, I was put through a rigorous training of hearing the Holy Spirit speaking to my heart. During that period one thing He made clear to me was that not only my life was never to be about me, but as we move forward, anything that will happen to me during this period I was in, had nothing to do with me. I did not say a word; I listened and remained silent the whole time. It is funny how both of us all of the sudden were silent. But my silence was not the same as God’s because though He was no longer talking, He was for lack of a better word, infusing in me what He meant by “this period of my life had nothing to do with me”

It was one of the most beautiful experiences that He let me keep with me even now. I knew that everything about that particular season of my life was about God and other people that He would put in my path. I knew, rejecting the season or wasting it away, meant forfeiting God’s plan for me. What was amazing in my experiencing this with Him was the fact that I could see myself as being just a tool. I could see from the moment I was conceived in my mother’s womb that was God’s purpose all along. There were a whole bunch of people in the shadow, all faceless, I could see they came from all shapes, height, sex, and sizes. While it appeared they were all strangers, yet they were holding hands. They were also waiting there, as if they were waiting for me to make my move or say something.  All I got from this encounter was that I was born to touch their lives in whatever capacity He decided.

This encounter also helped me in such a deep way to walk the steadfast life. I knew, my going through the season, was simply part of the process. It was amazing to see something so personal and so intimate could make me feel so much like I do not matter. Let me explain. It was very important for God to make me feel like I was something like a hammer that was fashioned for the purpose of being used just like a hammer would be. I carried this understanding and feeling within my heart to see me through the darkest days of my wilderness, even when things were unbearable to my soul. I was aware, if I did not let Him have His ways, then how could I live with myself knowing I failed these people? I failed God? I failed the reason I was born for? 

I wish I could make you see with your spiritual eyes the impact of knowing that even when you were nothing yet, your father or grandfather were not even born. Yet, God put a plan forward with you in mind. Can you grasp the magnitude of the God that we serve? Can you see how important you are? It is never about the big thing you can do. The sensation and the importance, but it is about being His instrument as you live the life you were born for. Through this experience I could see when we all die and Christ is putting all things the way they should, people that I honor now, might end up being last. I beg you to see with your heart what I am saying it is who you are “IN HIS HANDS” that matters.

                 

To me, it was not a question that God could change His plan and use someone else or do it Himself. It was instilled in me that was my responsibility. I felt, if I fail, then my life was worthless. From this single experience I learned so much that I could write a book about it. But, the funny thing is, all I learned no matter how I look at it, all I can see is God’s sovereignty which has been magnified in my life more than I could find words to explain myself. I enjoyed learning a tiny bit about the intricacies of His plan for us and how each one of us has a responsibility and how important it is to live out His plan for us.

I could see through the experience with Him, how when you touch someone’s life according to His will in your own life, the gift keeps on giving even after one hundred years or two thousand years down the road. I know my writings do not cajole people and make them feel good in their lethargy. If I were to do that to get more readers, or to be liked, I would not be true to the reason of my being on this earth. I would not be true to Him who made me. I also know God has a plan and my writings will find those I am writing for. BLESSED BE HIS NAME! These people are singled out by God Himself.

I am the first one amazed at God’s power when I learn from books written 3, 4 or 7 hundred years ago. While these people are long gone that even their bones no longer there, but, because they live God’s purpose for their lives, they are still teaching me. They are allowing me to go deeper and deeper in Him. What is more amazing is that when I read those classic and those puritan books and sermons, I know God had me personally in mind. He knew this person writing was going to make an impact on me for His Glory. What an amazing life we have waiting for us? What a magnificent God we serve? I hate the fact that there is not enough room in my heart to love Him the way He deserves. I hate most that I keep failing Him over and over again in this life, when in reality He deserves my all, unconditionally.  

This is why, as long as I live, and as long as it is His will for me, I will always write against physical selfishness, mental carelessness, moral insensitivity, or spiritual weakness, and our lethargy because the Christian life is too hard. Whether we like it or not, it makes a difference to God because His Word told us in Revelation 2:7 “…..To him who overcomes, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God”  At the right time, He will separate those who profess to be Christians and those who possess the Christian faith and we are dead wrong if we think all we will be losing is just some reward.

I know I have a long way to go. So, am I perfect at it? This is a big NO and thousands times NO, but I am truly a work in progress in His hands of love.  Every day comes with its own challenges and sometimes the learning curve is so steep I want to rest. (This rest here means when you go back to your old self to find your comfort zone) But I also know that I can do all things through Him who strengthens me, so I keep going forward toward the goal, apprehending what He apprehended me for.

Are you living out God’s purpose for your life? Are you your brother’s keeper? I beg you not to take things lightly! 

This should have been split in two post. I apologize. But, I will leave you with Oswald Chambers devotion for today. Read it if you have time or come back to it when you can.

“Am I My Brother’s Keeper?”

02

15

2013

None of us lives to himself . . . —Romans 14:7

Has it ever dawned on you that you are responsible spiritually to God for other people? For instance, if I allow any turning away from God in my private life, everyone around me suffers. We “sit together in the heavenly places . . .” (Ephesians 2:6). “If one member suffers, all the members suffer with it . . .” (1 Corinthians 12:26). If you allow physical selfishness, mental carelessness, moral insensitivity, or spiritual weakness, everyone in contact with you will suffer. But you ask, “Who is sufficient to be able to live up to such a lofty standard?” “Our sufficiency is from God . . .” and God alone (2 Corinthians 3:5).

“You shall be witnesses to Me . . .” (Acts 1:8). How many of us are willing to spend every bit of our nervous, mental, moral, and spiritual energy for Jesus Christ? That is what God means when He uses the word witness. But it takes time, so be patient with yourself. Why has God left us on the earth? Is it simply to be saved and sanctified? No, it is to be at work in service to Him. Am I willing to be broken bread and poured-out wine for Him? Am I willing to be of no value to this age or this life except for one purpose and one alone— to be used to disciple men and women to the Lord Jesus Christ. My life of service to God is the way I say “thank you” to Him for His inexpressibly wonderful salvation. Remember, it is quite possible for God to set any of us aside if we refuse to be of service to Him— “. . . lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified” (1 Corinthians 9:27).

Courtesy of: http://utmost.org/

Life On Earth Has Never Been About Us!

When God deemed you privileged enough to experience what it means to live a life on earth according to his purpose, it is something personal and powerful. I remember in 2005 when I began to go though the wilderness torments, just for a moment which even today seems a life time flashed before me, He showed me how that everything He was going to put me through had nothing to do with me and it was not about me. That was the strangest thing to see how all the pain, the loss, the hardships, and all the adversities even though they were happening to me were not about me. Of course back then I assumed that the episode that I was going through was going to last only a few months. I am glad God did not show me the whole path that I was going to go through for seven years in the wilderness. I would have been spooked and miss out on righteousness, knowledge, wisdom, patience, Agape love, intimacy, faith and all that I have found through going  forward with Him.

I still remember how baffled I was to live out the beauty of being born for a purpose, yet I was puzzled as to how did we manage to make things so much about us. This vision God showed me was not meant just for me. Through it, I understood that God was totally misunderstood by us. I felt like a human being was more like an experiment that has gone wrong. Through the capabilities He put in us, we used them to turn against Him. Each one of us was meant to be a tiny part of a much bigger picture. We are like the tiny pixels that make up the element of a digital picture. Or another comparison would be the tiny fibers of a thread that is used to put together and weave a canvas

We have nothing; absolutely nothing we can offer God that would satisfy Him. The reason is that nothing that we possess belongs to us. Every breath we take, our finances big or small, our possessions, our children, our knowledge etc, all belong to Him. Even the first commandment that is so dear to His heart, we cannot even come close to loving Him if He does not put His Agape Love in our heart, He cannot accept our love because our love is not a selfless love. The only prize possession we possess and that He is after is us coming back to Him so that we can be put back into a relationship where once again He is the Master. The only way possible to do that is through a surrender of the self back to Him.  He wants us to do it, because we recognize who we are in Him. In our helplessness we have come to realize that without Him we are incapable of taking care of ourselves.  He alone has the schematics of our lives. Anything else we create on our own is apart from Him and His vision for us.

Through this revelation, God wanted to impart to me the fact that my life was not about me at all. He succeeded. It is funny, all these years I have been so busy focussing on learning to live a life where He was given His proper place (my Creator) and role (my Master) that I forgot to look at this experience in any other way. That is until this morning when I started reading Oswald Chambers devotional

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Oswald Chambers' "My Utmost for His Highest"

Devotional for November 5

Partakers Of His Sufferings

"Rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings." — 1 Peter 4:13

If you are going to be used by God, He will take you through a multitude of experiences that are not meant for you at all, they are meant to make you useful in His hands, and to enable you to understand what transpires in other souls so that you will never be surprised at what you come across. Oh, I can't deal with that person. Why not? God gave you ample opportunity to soak before Him on that line, and you barged off because it seemed stupid to spend time in that way.

The sufferings of Christ are not those of ordinary men. He suffered "according to the will of God," not from the point of view we suffer from as individuals. It is only when we are related to Jesus Christ that we can understand what God is after in His dealings with us. It is part of Christian culture to know what God's aim is. In the history of the Christian Church the tendency has been to evade being identified with the sufferings of Jesus Christ; men have sought to procure the carrying out of God's order by a short cut of their own. God's way is always the way of suffering, the way of the "long, long trail."

Are we partakers of Christ's sufferings? Are we prepared for God to stamp our personal ambitions right out? Are we prepared for God to destroy by transfiguration our individual determinations? It will not mean that we know exactly why God is taking us that way, that would make us spiritual prigs. We never realize at the time what God is putting us through; we go through it more or less misunderstandingly; then we come to a luminous place, and say - ' 'Why, God has girded me, though I did not know it!"

Copyright Statement
Taken from 'My Utmost for His Highest', by Oswald Chambers. © l935 by Dodd Mead & Co., renewed © 1963 by the Oswald Chambers Publications Assn., Ltd., and is used by permission of Barbour Publishing, Uhrichsville, Ohio. All rights reserved.