3. Now the soul had received a faith indeed, and a lively hope indeed, such a one as now it can fetch strength from Christ's fullness of Christ and the merits of Christ.
4. Yea, now the soul can look on itself with one eye, and look upon Christ with another, and say, Indeed, it is true; I am an empty soul, but Christ is a full Christ; I am a poor sinner, but Christ is a rich Christ; I am a foolish sinner, but Christ is a wise Christ; I am an unholy, ungodly, unsanctified creature in myself, but Christ is made of God "unto me, wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption" (1 Cor 1:30).
5. Now also that fiery law, that it could not once endure, nor could not once delight in, I say, now it can delight in it after the inward man; now this law is its delight, it would always be walking in it, and consistently be delighting in it, being offended with any sin or any corruption that would be anyways a hindrance to it (Rom 7:24,25). And yet it will not abide, it will not endure that that, even that that law should offer to take the work of its salvation out of Christ's hand; no, if it once comes to do that, then out of doors it shall go if it were as good again. For that soul that hath the exemplary work of God indeed upon it, cries, Not my prayers, not my tears, not my works, not my things, do they come from the work of the Spirit of Christ itself within me, yet these shall not have the glory of my salvation; no, it is none but the blood of Christ, the death of Christ, of the Man Christ Jesus of Nazareth, the carpenter's son, as they called Him, that must have the crown and glory of my salvation. None but Christ, none but Christ. And thus, the soul labors to give Christ the preeminence (Col 1:18).
A word of experience.
Now, before I go any further, I just need to speak a word from my own experience of the things of Christ. Instead, because we have a company of silly ones in this day of ignorance that either comfort themselves with a notion without the power or else reject the idea and the power of this most glorious Gospel, for further conviction of the reader, I shall tell him, with David, something of what the Lord hath done for my soul. Indeed, a little of the experience of the things of Christ is far more valuable than all the world. It would be too tedious for me to tell thee here all from the first to the last, but something I shall say to thee, that thou mayest not think these things are fables. [This conviction seized on my soul one Sabbath day, when I was at play, being one of the first that I had, which when it came, though it scared me with its terror, yet through the temptation of the devil, immediately striking in therewith, I did rub it off again, and became as vile for some time as I was before, like a wretch that I was].
Reader, when it pleased the Lord to begin to instruct my soul, He found me one of the black sinners of the world; He saw me making a sport of oaths and also of lies, and many a soul-poisoning meal did I make out of divers lusts, as drinking, dancing, playing, pleasure with the wicked ones of the world. The Lord finding of me in this condition, did open the glass of His Law unto me, wherein He showed me so clearly my sins, both the greatness of them, and also how abominable they were in His sight, that I thought the very clouds were charged with the wrath of God, and ready to let fall the very fire of His jealousy upon me; yet for all this I was so wedded to my sin, that, thought I with myself, I will have them though I lose my soul, (O wicked wretch that I was!) but God, the great, the rich, the infinite merciful God, did not take this advantage of my soul to cast me away, and say, Then take him, Devil, seeing he cares for Me no more; no, but He followed me still, and won upon my heart, by giving me some understanding, not only into my miserable state, which I was very sensible of, but also that there might be hopes of mercy; also taking away that love to lust, and placing in the room thereof a love to religion; and thus the Lord won over my heart to some desire after the means, to hear the Word, and to grow a stranger to my old companions, and to accompany the people of God, together with giving of me many sweet encouragements from several promises in the Scriptures. But after this, the Lord did wonderfully set my sins upon my conscience, those sins especially that I had committed since the first convictions; temptations also followed me very hard, and especially such temptations as did tend to make me question the very way of salvation—viz., whether Jesus Christ was the Saviour or no; and whether I had best to venture my soul upon His blood for salvation, or take some other course. But being through grace kept close with God, in some measure, in prayer and the rest of the ordinances, but went about a year and upwards without any sound evidence as from God to my soul touching the salvation that comes by Jesus Christ. But, at last, as I may say, when the set time has come, the Lord, just before the men called Quakers went into the country, did set me down so blessedly in the truth of the doctrine of Jesus Christ that it made me marvel to see, first, how Jesus Christ was born of a virgin, walked in the world awhile with His disciples, afterward hanged on the Cross, spilled His blood, was buried, rose again, ascended above the clouds and heavens, there lives to make intercession, and that He also will come again at the last day to judge the world, and take His saints unto Himself.
No comments:
Post a Comment