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31 December, 2015

My Walk With God, This Year 2015, in Review (sort of)

REVIEWING 2015 While Ushering into the New One

This year God has taken me on a path where I was forced to sit still and walk straight so that I can finally learn what the Bible means by: “ENOCH WALKED WITH GOD”. It has been a very deep learning curve. So deep that sometimes I was afraid of sharing what I learned. I was so sure people would say that I am crazy. But, the perceived depth was simply because my spiritual understanding was not ready for what God was teaching me.

In fact, I recall at one point I did not want to learn more about this walk and I sort of moved away from God hoping He would change channels and let me be. After all, what use is it to know how to walk with God like Enoch did?  But, instead of punishing me for my rebellious actions, a few weeks later, He went on showing me how nothing can separate me from His love. I was a “bitter sweet” time for me. I could not believe how lovingly He hanged on to me when I was more than willing to walk away from something that He felt, was important to put me through.

Fast forward to few weeks ago, He made me face how far I have come. At that moment, I realized all these truths I used to feel were too big for me to wrap my head around, have become so simple and straightforward. They are now part of my life, my understanding of spiritual things and most of all they are part of me, the “me” that is merging slowly but surely with the indwelling Christ in me. On a side note: even this phase is also the continuity of living the Advent and making use of the Good News which is the Gospel.

Now, those words ‘Enoch walked with God’ hold not mystery. Not only it has become simpler in my understanding, but also it is something that God aspires for all of us and it is not unattainable for those growing in His fullness. After all that I have learned about Enoch walked with God, if you were to ask me to share what it means in the soul of a Christian, I would say it is the fulfillment of a life being lived in the fullness of God… It is getting hold of His boundless riches…It is walking with Him in the fullness of friendship. It is living with the feeling and the strength that you have been established in Him…knowing His love that surpasses knowledge…reaching the pic of your spiritual maturity, It is living with adversities as your daily bread. It is a life where you are constantly growing and developping in Christ and almost always going in the same directions as He is. In short, your belief and behavior have come together in one accord to live the life of a true heir. Yet, even when you are there, you know that this Christian walk is a walk made of a million steps, yet you have perhaps barely reached a hundred thousand steps with Him. So, you still have a long way to go. The only thing that matters is that you know you are going with Him and you are following His agenda. Following His agenda here means that His plan of Salvation is unfolding as He alone envisioned it.

Now that 2016 is at my doorsteps, I have a very good idea what it holds for me. A few weeks ago, God started churning my heart with my understanding of God’s favors in our lives. Until further notice, I will be honest about my understanding, not because I want to defy Him or lacking reverence toward Him, but simply that is what my mind, which is limited to this physical realm, will allow me to understand and I refuse to repeat like a parrot that God does not have favorite people. I find that when we cannot tell God that we do not understand something and we are content to repeat what others are repeating, in reality we do ourselves a disservice. But, the good news is, if you are walking in Spirit, He will find you out and teach you to face Him with your understanding or lack of it.

So, lately, even my meditation time is hijacked by the spirit and I find myself back again to the same subject whether I like it or not. During the time that I wrote on Facebook about what I know about the subject and today, the last day of 2015, I already learned there will be a long learning curve to get there. It seems to me that I will be spending a good chunk of 2016 learning this one subject. I have to say that I used to hate the fact that everything God teaches me seems to be hard and convoluted. But, over time, I learned that it appears that way because it ceases being ‘emotional understanding’ and our own limited understanding at work. It is God sharing Himself and His world with us. So, like all teachers He is teaching so that we can grow, our understanding would be satisfied and we can also mature spiritually in Him.

I received a nasty email when I wrote on Facebook that God is not safe but He is good. The reality is that when you know God for real, you know He is not safe because we cannot understand what He means if He does not consume us with it and do it to us. If we understand anything about this process of becoming like Jesus, we know, it is by doing things to us that we are changing into His image. He is fusing Himself, He is replacing our spiritual DNA and image on the inside while we become truly Christian. Sometimes it is not easy to continue the walk and you wish that God could do His work without you having to follow Him.

Last night, in fact, I felt so miserable I stopped everything that I was doing in order to avoid offending God and go deep into a pity party. I hated the fact that nothing is working and God does not seem to be concerned about my life. I started feeling as if ‘HIM’ working so hard to make me this person He wants me to be and preparing me for heaven did not matter that much if He could not give me a break. There is so much pain daily, so many restrictions which feels like God put you on a tight leash , the uncertainties, the constant afflictions and adversites and so much of all that could go wrong cause me to be sometimes, overwhelmed. While you know God is sovereign, sufficient and He is in control, yet, time sometimes takes its toll on you.  In that sense my dear brothers and sisters, God is not safe, but, I know He is good so I hang tight and allow Him to do what He has to. I also know it is the time to exercise patience, perseverance and hang onto Him for the ride however long He deems. In fact, it is sad to know that the only God a Christian know is a safe God because it is only by learning to know the unsafe God that we are compelled to see and live the invisible.

So, this year, I do not care much about an empty happy New Year wish. A Happy New Year is one that see us taking this advent to a whole new level and make it a yearly love affair with the God of our Salvation. I pray that would be the New Year resolution and deep desire for a lot of us. I will end this by saying, HAVE A GREAT ONE!