Self Righteous Judgment vs Righteous Judgement!

When I was younger in the faith and since I had no idea what it meant to walk in the Spirit, I kept going around being myself. I was judged harshly. But, although these people were judging my behaviour, i.e I laughed too hard, not “compose” enough, not good being divorce and single in the Church, etc. I don’t know how to explain it, but there was something about me that God must have put there to help me see that they were judging me to either feel better about themselves. The older Christians judged because they were so settled in their ways they took their interpretation of the word of God for being right, as such I was wrong in their sight. Somehow, even though I had great respect for my elders, teachers, and all who decided to lead me. Strangely, I knew in my heart that the majority of them were no different from the unbelievers I was dealing with at work. I knew it was mainly external and that they have learned to control their behavior. Someone even said to me, “When you are here or in any Christian functions, remember, people are watching” This came from someone who wanted to be friend with me and knew how much people were talking about me behind my back.

Because this person was a Christian much longer than I, and was respected by the leaders, I took the advice with humility, promising to try harder. As time went by, I realized, the difference between me and majority of my brothers and sisters in my Church were that I stood out, because of my refusal to wear a mask. It was important to me not to wear a mask when I was in the Church, because I felt, if I had to wear one among them, then what was the point of being Christian to begin with?  To me, it was like being in a hospital and acting as if you are not sick and in no need for a doctor.  

I was never bitter about it, but in my heart, I was hurt to see that I was judged so harshly, while I was really no different than those who were doing the judging. This went on for years, until I grew so dissatisfied with the kind of Christianity in all my surroundings, then I went directly to God, complained my heart out to Him, accusing Him of lying about Christianity and putting the bar so high that no one can reach it. (Funny how I was still making excuses for them) After I finished complaining, the Holy Spirit said sternly, “why don’t you surrender to me” I sort of stop and remain quiet just to make sure that I heard what I heard. He said again “surrender to me”. I finished my prayer time totally unsatisfied, at the same time, I was aware of something that somehow I felt in my heart, I did not want.

The point of this post is this, as Christians, when we are judged harshly we have a choice to make. We can harbour resentment against those who are judging us unfairly in their self-righteousness. We can retaliate, we can become bitter, let anger direct us, we can become arrogant and be as self-righteous as them or we can take it all in and go humbly to God with it.  What these people did not know about me is that deep inside, I knew I was not good, and I was craving to be like Christ. Because I did not have spiritual knowledge of the word of God and because I did not know Him yet, I did not understand that my craving was because I wanted to be like Him. I kept thinking that I wanted to be like our forefathers in the Bible who walked with Him. I could see there was a difference and I wanted that for me. So, even though I was hurt, but I focussed mainly on Christ without knowing it was the right attitude and response.  Remember, I was a babe in the faith and so stupid and clueless that I was cute. 

Years after that, God showed me how the majority of people in the Church, from top to bottom, are a perfect example of the Pharisees. He showed me how they have learned to interpret the word of God to coincide with their own prejudices.  It was as if the Church was a theater and everybody was in character playing a role where they were bad at it, but they did not know because the critics were not out yet. It was cold and unrighteous. Yet, in appearance, that was not the Church I knew, in fact people love this Church because it seems to be so good externally, and so on fire for God. He showed me the lack of the Holy Spirit leading and so much more that I was overwhelmed. At times, I felt, I could live this life without ever knowing those things. Furthermore, I kept feeling that I was not worthy of all those revelations about people who outranked me and their businesses.  But, while He started revealing the disobedience of my Church, He did not stop there. It was like teaching me how to diagnose the state of His Salvation, His plan and His Church, throughout the body of Christ, in North America, through His eyes.

The worst part of my training was when He decided to reveal His heart to me and how He is lamenting over His Church. There are no words to describe God’s lament for us. Here is how stupid I am, when I first experienced God wailing for the Church and wailing for what we have made of Salvation. I do not want to go through the whole thing with you because it is something between me and God and also too painful and hard to relieve out again. But when all was said and done and I was back to being myself, I first realized that I would never want to be amongst those people causing Him so much pain. So I made it a point that His purpose for my life, will be my purpose and nothing else would do. But I asked myself, why does He allow us to have so much power over Him? Since He is God, why doesn't He remove this part of Him that cause Him pain? I have grown so much more since that time and I know that God is God and feeling the pain for us is part of Him and cannot be removed. That in itself was a big lesson with Him where I learned to understand why God felt anger, love, wrath, mercy, and so on. They are all part of His holiness.

For few years in the wilderness, that’s what my education was based on. I came out with some big things that I learned. One, God does not wait to judge us with the same measure He promised we would be judged when we are hypocrites and self-righteous. He starts right here with those who are following Him wholeheartedly.  I bet you these people never thought for a moment that God would pronounce judgement on them, and use them to teach me about His Church lacking “Christ and the Holy Spirit” in everything. Secondly, when you are judged in any shape or form, whether it is righteous judgment or in self-righteousness, learn to recognize that God can use even unbelievers to teach you something about yourself. So, instead of digging your heels in who you are, until you become set in your ways that even the Holy Spirit could not make you budge, go to Him directly.  Do not lash out and resist the temptation to reciprocate while you are hurting. I was too stupid about the word of God and lack knowledge to pass judgment on the people judging me and I was not malicious enough to use the information that I knew about them wearing masks and controlling their behavior through the flesh. It turns out that God was training me through the gift of wisdom and godly discernment. The third thing I learned from this training, is that God was preparing me for my ministry, but in those days, I had no idea how to walk with God, let alone thinking that was a preparation for His purpose for me. You see, Ministry is not something that we do, but something that we are on the inside before it becomes external.

Another thing that I did not know is that, when we are self-righteous in the Church, most of us tend to see it as “our business.”  God revealed to me, that, it was not my business or their business, but our self-righteousness is “His business” so He can train anyone He wants to teach them “righteous judgment” to put their noses in God’s business and shake us out of our lethargy. I also learned that we might be on fire with our emotions for God, but spiritually speaking, lethargic. (Just like Paul used to be or the Pharisees). After all this training, I had no idea what to do with it and I even asked Him how He planned to use someone as stupid as me? At one point, I dreamed that He would change me overnight and make me someone eloquent and educated, which was my desires, not His. Instead, He told me He will not give me those desires of my heart because they were in the flesh, however He gave me the gift of boldness. I’ll tell you, if you knew me before, you would understand why the gift of boldness hit me like a bulldozer one day. That was 2012, when I started blogging. It has been quite a ride with God in teaching me how to let Him use me. In righteous judgment, we need to be right with God first, He trains us, and teaches us how to discern and give us the wisdom needed as He uses us. Mainly, we need to keep walking and living in the Spirit so that we do not judge others through our eyes and prejudices, but through His eyes alone.
 I will not split this post into two parts, however, I will not blog tomorrow to give you time to read.
In His Agape Love,

M.J

Devotional and Practical Meditations - Ecclesiastes-7:16 - Righteousness

"Do not be over-righteous." Ecclesiastes 7:16

How can this be? Can any man be over-righteous?

When zeal oversteps discretion;
when tasks are self-imposed;
when religious forms are trusted in;
when flesh is vainly mortified —
all this is being over-righteous!

God's people unwittingly fall into these very errors.

Prayer, as a task, persisted in — that we may think how long our prayers have been — this is a great mistake. It is wrong in principle, and practice too. Have you ever been more fretful after prayer, more worldly, more inclined to levity? The truth is this — you prayed too long; your mind was over-taxed; your soul responded to your weariness. The enemy rejoiced in your infirmity — you were "over-righteous."

Or you have found refreshment in the house of worship. You have gone a second time, and found the same. You went again (three services, three sermons in a day!) — the third occasion undid the other two. Trying to have too much — you lost all. The wearied brain could not recall its former devotion; the jaded memory broke down — you were "over-righteous."

It is often the same in reading Scripture. The mind is proud of its performances, and reads too much. To read each day so many chapters; in a short time to have gone the whole round of Scripture — rapidly to move from the Law, to History, to the Prophets, to the Gospel in the hurry — my friend, you are "over-righteous!" This is not the way to grow in grace and knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ. Were you to spend a lifetime over a single Psalm, gaining daily refreshment to your soul — would be far better, than to scamper rapidly through the Word.

When household duties are neglected for the sake of devotional exercises — this, too, is being over-righteous.

The same is true when others are inconvenienced by our devotional exercises. The family waiting in the hall, the carriage at the door — while prayers are too lengthy. Is not this being "over-righteous?"

Prayer, meditation, and the Scriptures — how good they are! Yet there is a time for all things. If duties rise so thick, that you are hindered in your prayers — even this is better than prayer persisted in, and duties left undone! Beware, then, Christian friend, and do not be "over-righteous."

Examine Yourself!

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This is such a tall order for those of us who call ourselves Christians. When I was not walking in the Spirit yet, I used to wonder about how do I do this in the light of God’s Word. I know to some people it sounds stupid to ask such a question when it is written down in the Bible in black and white. So finally, I concurred with those who kept telling me the definition of this verse simply meant that everything in my life has to pass the test of God’s Word. While the explanation did not help and did not answer the “how” part of my question I assumed I had to let it go. As I learned through the Holy Spirit, to examine myself in the light of God’s Word according to His standards, I understood why it was difficult for people to answer this question properly.  Simply put, this command can leave you like a dog chasing its tail.

I realized two important things: first the awesome job of the Holy Spirit never let me be satisfied with head knowledge, always calling upon me to come up higher and draw near to God. Even though I did not know yet how to hear Him or communicate with Him. The second thing is that if you are not walking in the Spirit, then examining yourself in the light of God’s Word is as clear to your soul as someone who is born blind, yet you are telling this person to behold the beauty of the stars in the sky. Without God’s grace, there is no way I would have known that I was not examining my thoughts in the light of His Word. Every time I recall how He pursued me and never let me be satisfied with shallow understanding and my own explanations of things, I cannot help but feel privileged to be amongst those fortunate enough to be living under His grace. It is certainly not because of who I am but because of who He is.  

When you examine your thoughts in the light of His Word, the end result is you choosing to live out His truth. Not the truth according to how you see it in your own interpretation of things. But rather how He sees it.  Here is where we Christians we get in trouble, we cannot know the truth if the Holy Spirit is not revealing God’s Word to us. We cannot know the truth if our soul does not go forward possessing Christ within. In this simple command “examine yourself”, everything collides. The truth is no less than Him in all His fullness. The truth is living a righteous life, and a true righteous life means you are living in oneness with Him so you can partake in His righteousness. It also means living an obedient life, not a life where you decide on a case by case basis which one of His Word suits you best. Can you see where I am going with this?  While there are a lot of Christians out there who do not bother to examine themselves, but the majority of those who actually examine themselves are not really doing it in the light of His Word. They do it according to their own understanding; hence they keep following the wrong path, They keep doing the same wrong things over and over again and Christianity keeps declining because we are not walking as we should. Righteousness, faithfulness and obedience have to be right in the middle of our examinations.

  

PRAYER: Father God, you are indeed a great God and everything you have done, through Christ has made provision for us to walk in the light. But, we do not like the light, so we hide behind excuses which affect drastically our walk with you. I pray saviour you would revive us in our slumber to see how important meeting your standard is to you and that your Word will not come back void to you. Teach us to fear you. Do whatever it takes to bring us back to the reality of Christ’s Cross. Help us my Lord! 

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His Wrath & His Love Are One In The Same!

Read Romans 1:19-23

"For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness, Because that which may be known of God is manifest in them; for God hath shown it unto them. For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse; Because, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful, but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, and changed the glory of the incorruptible God into an image made like corruptible man, and birds, and four-footed beasts, and creeping things."

This is such a deep passage that we could get dozens of sermons out of it. For today we will just talk about God’s wrath which is obviously justified in the above verses. When I was not a Christian I did not care much about God’s wrath because I rationalized it so nicely in my mind that it softens things for me. Mind you most people, Christians and unbelievers alike, have the wrong idea about God’s wrath to begin with. One of the reasons we do take our time in coming to come, that is if we come at all, is because we have brought the bar so low, we see God just a tad higher than us. So, with our human ability to think we reason that we can bargain our way through heaven or that God will be gracious and will overlook certain things. I find there is a percentage of Christian who see God’s wrath as something that should not be there. As if God should not be associated with wrath at all because it is such a terrible thing. In effect, what they are doing is comparing God’s wrath according to human’s wrath which is an awful thing. These are just a few of the theories out there about His wrath.

One of the beauties of knowing God is that you learn to appreciate His wrath because His wrath is as much part of who He is as His holiness and His love. His wrath is also as intense as His love and it’s also one of His attributes.  Those of you who are intimate with Him know that just because we no longer fear His wrath, does not touch your reverence for Him. If anything you have more reverence for Him because you know how much of His wrath you deserve, yet you are spared. Whether we talk about the New Testament or the Old Testament, the wrath of God is His indignation against all that is evil. I was talking to someone who reads the Bible all the time, but did not want to hear that in the heart of man there is evil. This person felt the word sin was more acceptable but not the word evil. But according to God’s standards sin is evil. Genesis 8:21 says: “… the imagination of man's heart is evil from his youth”

Although God loves us, it is a mistake to think that because of His love we will be okay. If it was just for His love, there would not be a need for the Cross of Christ and everyone on earth would be saved.  Because His wrath is as intense as His love, He made provision through the Cross which is served as a propitiation to appease God’s demands in dealing with sin.  When Christ died on the Cross, He experienced the full wrath of God against sin. So it is not up to us to judge or make excuses for God’s wrath. At the moment of final judgement when all excuses are taken away, all pride, disobedience, need for power, greed, lust etc., and we stand there in front of Him, each one of us will know with no doubt whatsoever that we get exactly what we deserve.

PRAY: Lord God I thank you for who you are. I pray that those who profess to be Christians would get to know you with passion through intimacy. They would embrace all of you; they would learn not to make excuses for your wrath as if it was a flaw in you but they would glorify you instead as they realize how deep is the depth of your love through your divine wrath.