Microscopic Holiness?

I shared those words below, from Spurgeon, because after God told me that I was now holy, I was at a lost as to what next. I guess because I did not have help from mature Christians to understand, nor that I matured in the faith enough to know how to move forward. After the excitement of seeing first hand, God's Holiness in me, with my spiritual eyes, and after the initial shock that someone like me could actually be holy, I decided not to talk about it because people would find me pretentious or plain stupid. Then, when I finally understood that I needed to move forward to live out my holiness, it was a time of searching and understanding what this life entails. As usual, I tried to understand it on my own, until I gave up and allowed the Holy Spirit to help me make sense of it all.

I was disappointed to find out that it was as if I was starting this journey from scratch and every step was extremely important. Not only that, I found that every iota of my life had to be lived through the lenses of holiness. I hated every minute of my findings and what the Holy Spirit was teaching me, because I wanted a shortcut and I wanted a bullet list on how to live this life. I hated knowing that all the pain of preparing my soul, the furnace of fire to destroy the impurities, the separation, the isolation, the life turned upside down, the emptiness and the abyss that I faced for months and the darkness that surrounded my soul in the valley of death, were just to lay the foundation of  a holy life. I hated knowing that I was not further ahead. 

After I got over all of it and embraced the path that was ahead of me,  I did not pray those words spurgeon recorded below, but strangely, the Lord laid out my life in the same way. I found myself  being concerned with my daily walk and every minute in my heart, I wanted it to glorify Him, so it was not so much my whole life and my whole day that mattered to me, but the next minute and the next step. At night instead of praying before I sleep and before I say good night to the Lord, my daddy, I needed to reflect as to how my day went according to His will and how much did I please Him today. While at first it looked tedious, but over time, this becomes the normal way of life and you do not even notice that this is how you live.

Spurgeon,  

"Order my steps," 
We see here that David is anxious as to details. 
He does not say, "Order the whole of my pilgrimage;" 
he means that, but his expression is more
expressive and painstaking. He would
have each single step ordered in holiness.
He would enjoy heavenly guidance in each
minute portion of his journey towards heaven.

Much of the beauty of holiness lies in little things.

Microscopic holiness is the perfection of excellence.

If a life will bear examination in each hour of it,
it is pure indeed. Those who are not careful
about their words, and even their thoughts, will
soon grow careless concerning their more notable
actions.

Those who tolerate sin in what they think to be
little things, will soon indulge in it in greater matters.

To live by the day and to watch each
step, is the true pilgrimage method.

More lies in the careful noting of every single
act than careless minds can well imagine.

Be this then your prayer: "Lord, direct my
morning thoughts, that the step out of my
chamber into the world may be taken in your
fear. At my table keep me in your presence;
behind my counter, or in my field, or wherever
else I may be, allow me not to grieve your
Spirit by any evil. And when I come to lie
down at night, let the action (which seems
so indifferent) of casting myself upon my
pillow, be performed with a heart that loves
you; so that I shall be prepared to be with
you, if wakeful during the night.”

This brief prayer, "Order my steps,"
teaches us attention to the minutiae of life.
May we have grace to learn the lesson.

Faith – Part 8

Hebrews 6:11-12 “We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, so that what you hope for may be fully realized.  We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.”

Our faith in the crucified and ascended Christ has to be demonstrated in the way we live out our Christianity and without putting our faith into practice, well, we have NOTHING. It does not matter how good we feel about what we think we have, because if there is no faith, there is no substance, no God, no heaven and no nothing.  Yet, faith is not something that we conjure up out of the blue. It is not like living out some disjointed notion about God as we go on our merry way doing what feels right. If we take the Israelites in the wilderness for a moment we can vividly see that they never understood what faith meant and they never understood how important it was to apply it in their daily walk either. They were not in the mood to learn and they were too busy thinking about what’s in it for them. In their case, the need to possess the land of Canaan was all they could think of while they rejected the giver.

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I am not saying that about the Israelites because I want to criticize them, it is there in black and white in the Bible for us to see that at any moment in our lives we could be like one of them. In fact, I had someone else’s in mind to give you as an example for this post, until I was caught in the same dilemma up until two days ago. I was lying down in bed while in pain with a cold that does not want to let go and I got to thinking about my life. Would you believe while I was in that frame of mind, all that I could see was how lousy my life is and how God is putting me through unnecessary hoops. All of the sudden I felt like a combination of job when he was lamenting and I also was in a winning mood like the Israelites in the wilderness. I had so much pain within because I felt God could be a little bit more merciful since I passed all the numerous trials He put me through. Then all of the sudden I realized as I was in bed crying because I felt so bad for myself, that my thoughts toward God were not at all flattering.

I stopped myself right there. Yes I was still in pain and I felt the only way I could feel better about myself is if I could bash God and let Him have it. But, I also knew within me, that's going onto a slippery slope extremely dangerous and I am opening a door to Satan that I might not be able to close behind me so easily. So, I grabbed onto all the strength that I could muster to stop and think about God’s word.  Honestly, even though I stopped myself from being bashful and critical about God, but, I was not in the mood to hear those verses about how good and faithful He is. These things are knowledge that I possessed already and they are part of my very fibber that makes me who I am in Him which is a holy child of God living a life of intimacy and love with Him.

When I was living this deplorable moment, I was not LIVING in the Spirit. When we allow ourselves to live in the flesh for a moment, it can be devastating and unlike David who gave in, to the point where he murdered Uriah the Hittite in an effort to cover up his sin we have to take a page from his book and stop when we realize what we are about to do. Don’t give into it, and do not even bother to continue your train of thoughts. In David’s case the minute he kept looking at Bathsheba bathing from his balcony he opened the door for Satan to enter.

It is strange to describe myself as a loving child of God, yet having a mind capable of thinking the worse thoughts about Him. That is because in our nature, there is nothing good in us. I knew I had to leave this mindset behind me and go back to what I knew of His word found in Job chapter 38 and 39. When you look at these two chapters you can summarize it in few words, God basically said to Job those seven words “who the heck you think you are?” Remember how much He bragged about Job and what kind of man he was (Job 1: 8. If you play close attention to this verse you will also see that God directed Satan’s heart onto Job. This shows you that no matter how far we travel with God, we cannot escape Satan in tempting us to get us in the gutter with Him.

As I thought about those words God said to Job in chapters 38 & 39, I was put in my place and learned again that it is not my place to question God’s way. If He feels the needs to put ten thousand obstacles in my path and frustrate every plan that I have, while putting only 10 obstacles in any other Christian’s path instead of thousands like me, then it must be the right thing for His own purpose. Believe me when I tell you that I felt awful toward God afterwards, just for knowing that I can hurt Him in this manner.

The writer of Hebrews tells us we cannot afford to become lazy and we have to show diligence. What do you think that is? Because first of all we are on a journey and God arranged it in a way that we can only live this life of faith as long as we hang onto Him and recognize that apart from Him we can do nothing. He wants us to learn to live a life dependent completely on Him so that we can find the strength and grace needed to continue the journey. What I shared with you above, about my sin is something that could happen to anyone of us, especially when you are living a life of one distress after another and you have no idea when enough is enough for God.

I am able to continue what seems like a God forsaken life, because I learned to live and walk in the Spirit instead of walking after the flesh. I rest the whole weight of my life and situation on Him. I can do that, not because I am gullible or because of some vague idea of faith I muster on my own. I know He is real, I know His promises are true and His word calls for an obedience to trust and obey that equate to faith.  His word says that the just shall live by faith and faith is always tested by God. While there is pain in watching the residue of my life now, I know I cannot shrink back. I keep going because His word expects me to submit to His will for me through any kind of difficulties and however long He chooses the difficulties should last.

I shared my experience with you because I share the good and the bad. Secondly, God showed me something today. Times like the one I experienced two days ago, instead of dealing with my pain, I would have gone to my ungodly friend and take a break from God for a few hours, but this time I did not have the luxury. I also shared because what happened to me and the way I dealt with it to avoid backsliding even for a few days is also an example of what God calls endurance through faith exercised as I made use of my daily portion of grace in Him.

The Christian life is a life where we have to continue believing till the end. John 3:36 did not say He who BEILEVED in past tense. It is rather whoever believes and continues to believe day in day out.

John 3:36 “Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God’s wrath remains on them.”

The Ministry Of The Inner Life - Part 2

Not long ago, I was talking to an older Christian lady who has been a Christian for about fifty years. She then told me proudly about a prayer and a deal she made with God. When she finished her story, I did not say a word simply because I did not know what to say. My mind was vacillating between, her stupidity, her stubbornness, and her ignorance that is larger than life. I also felt pity for her and her obvious need to have Jesus come into her heart. Her prayer was exactly the way Oswald Chambers described it. Which means her prayer was pitiful, self-centered with lack of belief in the atonement of Christ and so on.  The prayer she was so proud of, I can sum it up for you in this way “God do this favour to me and I will do this for you” Yet, this was not the worst part. The worst part was when she told me what she wanted to do for God, it was so juvenile, like saying to God, give me a million dollars and I will say thank you to you. She was so proud that her prayer has been heard that I asked myself, where am I supposed to start with this person?

 We would be wrong to ignore what Oswald said in the first paragraph of June 20 devotional and jump into the second paragraph while thinking that it will all work out like by magic, if we learn to pray for our friends.  Here is what Oswald said in the first paragraph: “The fact that I am trying to be right with God is actually a sign that I am rebelling against the atonement by the Cross of Christ. I pray, “Lord, I will purify my heart if You will answer my prayer— I will walk rightly before You if You will help me.” But I cannot make myself right with God; I cannot make my life perfect. I can only be right with God if I accept the atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ as an absolute gift. Am I humble enough to accept it? I have to surrender all my rights and demands, and cease from every self-effort. I must leave myself completely alone in His hands, and then I can begin to pour my life out in the priestly work of intercession.” Through these words, he is telling us to learn cultivate the inner life before we learn to intercede for others.

As you learn to cultivate the inner life, you have no need to make deals with God anymore because you know His role along with yours. Also, His atonement has magnified in your life in more ways than one. Oswald is also saying that apart from learning to cultivate an inner life you need to change your attitude toward God, you need to change your motive and your reason for doing good deeds and walking with Him.  

He is telling you to learn to humble yourself before Him by understanding first of all your need for Him and who He is, then accept and embrace your new found knowledge in Him and incorporate it all  in your life. Then, lay down your life at His feet. Actually, if you pay close attention to the chapter of the Bible that Oswald based his devotional for June 20, you will find that, Job 42:10 tells you “After Job had prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before.” But, once again, it would be wrong to take verse 10 of Job 42 and run with it by claiming it for your life without putting into context what has happened in Job’s life.

I have to be honest here. When God moved in, to change my life by turning it upside down and inside out, as if it was not enough, He then shattered it into millions of pieces, I read Job and I was strengthened when I read partly  verse 42”10. I kept living with the hope that one day I will be like Job and God will be giving me much of what I have lost. As time went by, this idea or this presumptuous faith was a hindrance in my walk with Him and He had to deal with me because I was stuck. And because it was presumptuous faith, it caused me so much anxiety and I was messing up the waiting process He put me in, to work through me.

But, if you have ever gone through a wilderness time or dark nights with Him, you know for yourself, of all these emotions Job has gone through. One of them was his attitude toward his life and the fact that he felt he was dealt with unfairly. From a human point of view it is true. You also find, that  God broke the silence and finally answered Job’s many questions and it was not at all what Job was expecting but it was sufficient. From chapter 38 to chapter 42 the conversation is between God and Job where God did most of the talking and basically you can sum up God’s answer in few words, “who do you think you are Job?”

Then, you find the beauty in chapter 42. If you take a look at verses 5-6, you will see Job’s response to God “My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes.” After this treacherous time in his life, before he prayed for his friends and before God restored his wealth and everything Job lost, he found out the ministry of the inner life and he could see God with his spiritual eyes. He experienced his creator in a way that he had never before, he found out being His bondservant is awesome, but when you pass from bondservant to friend, it is more awesome than your heart can take.

Look at the awesomeness of knowing God in the inner parts. Job asked for forgiveness and repented in verse 5-6, yet he was still suffering because of his health and with all the losses he incurred in his life. God had not restored things for him yet. But, when you meet with Him face to face, none of it matters. This moment he was experiencing with Him that led him to ask for forgiveness and to repent, meant the world to Job and it was more precious than silver and gold. Of course, God always takes the sweetness of those moments away from us because it would give us an edge and this life would be easy as we would be floating all the time.

Furthermore, during the time of hardship especially when we experience lost beyond measure, it is extremely important to understand that we cannot expect the outcome of our lives to be the same as Job. We can always expect to grow and to be more intimate with Him, but the rest is up to Him. As God dealt with me to help me get rid of my presumptuous faith, I found that I had to come to a point where I was satisfied with Him whether He restores my life back to what it was before or not. As time went by, I learned from the Holy Spirit that sometimes the wealth we received in terms of experiencing Him and the knowledge of Him we accumulate as we walk those dark nights, should be enough to make up for what we lost in terms of materials and health. 

One thing we learn as we learn the ministry of the inner life is that, prayer is a big part of this ministry. Prayer becomes sweet to our soul and you find out that you have lost that narrow mindedness where you concentrate on you all the time. Personally I find when I am praying for everybody else which is every day, it is like I have a constant need to ask daddy for a favour for one of my friends, a family member, someone you see on the street etc. Except, in this relationship, your earthly father could get tired of you coming day in day out but, the oneness in your heavenly relationship with the Father calls for you to keep asking and He simply enjoys that you take it onto you to keep coming with those requests. The ministry of the inner life is indeed a delightful one.

The Ministry Of The Inner Life - Part 1

Yesterday’s post (June 20) was done in preparation for today’s post. The reason being that in both Devotionals (June 20 & June 21) Oswald Chambers is talking about the inner life.

There was a time, reading about these things especially June 20^th devotional, if I want to be honest, I have to say they used to get on my nerves.  For instance, when you read the June 20 devotional, I used to feel the author was all over the place a little bit. Now I know,  all that Oswald Chambers is talking about is related to the ministry of the inner life. The ministry of the inner life is the whole of Christianity, it is where life resides, it is where we commune with Him, it is where we live and walk. It is proof of your Salvation because it differentiates you and me from the other religions out there which all, offer some sort of spirituality kind of thing. So, the inner life where our spirit and God’s spirit intersects, it is indeed “true Christianity.”

I used to be scared of the inner life simply because I started my walk with God when I was part of a conservative Baptist Church and they wanted to have nothing to do with God’s manifestation in us Christians. It was so bad that, after I was filled with the Holy Spirit, which is such a memorable day for me, during Church services, my worship time would be so filled with the Spirit that I would be trembling and trying very hard to control myself. It got so bad that I prayed for the Holy Spirit not to meet me there or perhaps to ease up a bit. “This is truly sad isn't? ” I remember after I prayed the Holy Spirit to stop meeting me in the Church, the only answer that I received was something like “you silly goose, the power you are feeling has nothing to do with the Church but it is in you, you bring me there with you”.  Now, you cannot read this statement without seeing  how stupid and ignorant I used to be. Most of my ignorance was due to the fact that I was walking a walk where I had no mentor, and no one to share those things with. Someone who would have been there already with Him and knew exactly what I was experiencing.  Worse, I never heard a sermon about how the spiritual growth works and what it was about. Over time I learned from the Holy Spirit, yes, this is a lonely path, but you are not alone my child.   

Sadly, the Church leadership was scared of any kind of spiritual manifestation coming from the flock, because way too many so called Christians out there have been using the Spirit’s manifestation fraudulently. From faking speaking in tongues to faking healing others, faking the gift of the spirit to the point we ascribe titles to ourselves without being consecrated by Him. And if you have been watching television you know the list goes on as people are caught up into doing things to feed their ego and to some, their wallets too.  As I walked in the Spirit, He took my fear away. 

He taught me while the leaders of my Church are right in their assessment that most Christians out there are abusing what they think is the power of the Holy Spirit, but those leaders are equally wrong to let themselves be led by the spirit of fear to the point where everyone in the Church is affected by that mentality. He taught me, that as long as one walk in the Spirit, one has nothing to fear of the manifestation of the Spirit, simply because He is in charge of one’s life. After all, if you have the true Spirit at work in you, then you have the Spirit of wisdom, the Spirit of discernment, and the Spirit of light who is stronger than the spirit of darkness, why then should I fear? What the leaders did not know, if they themselves walked in the Spirit, there should not have been any reason to be scared of the Spirit's manifestation in other people, because the Holy Spirit would have taught them who is real and who was not.  After all, it is His job.

The ministry of the inner life will be your biggest ministry as you walk the Christian path. Because it is alive, and it is literally larger than life, it does not die and it does not get old, and keep rejuvenating on a daily basis. It swallows up the self, it takes charge of you, it fellowships with God in a way that makes you want to go see Him directly and be done with this life on earth. The inner life is the life, that the life of Christ living in you is constantly working on. It is the regenerated you, it is Christ being formed in you as He keeps growing bigger than the container you are. (Galatians 4:19.)

Even though sometimes we do not feel that we are making any advancement in our spiritual life, yet if God shows you amazingly how He is feeding, His life to your own inner life, you never doubt for a moment that you are growing constantly. The feeding of a baby in the womb of a mother is not felt, yet the child is being fed and strengthens daily, moment by moment. This inner life is so big, that we could live hundreds of years, while we grow every day, yet God would still have a lot to do within us. Because, the inner life is the life that He is conforming to His and since there is an unreachable vastness between Him and us, there will always be work to do. It is the reality of your redemption which is the true Gospel of God. It is a life that goes beyond common sense and reason. It is a life of faith and trust where the Word of God, along with the Holy Spirit found no limitation in the host, to move freely and work within. It is the holy life we are called to live out, and it is also about being prepared for eternity. Brothers and sisters the only end to our preparation for heaven and the only end to our spiritual growth is in our mind and the limitation of what we are willing to receive from Him.

On a side note, I know some of you will not feel comfortable with the fact that I said there is an unreachable vastness between Him and us. It is good that you believe the cross of Christ bridges the gap, and I agree wholeheartedly because only His blood can washes us clean, but that’s not the same thing as the vastness between us and Him that I am referring to.  One learns about the vastness that separates us and Him and will always separate us and Him even when we are in heaven, by going forward with Him while putting no restrictions on the Holy Spirit. I learned about the vastness that separated me from Him, the hard way and by then I was exhausted in the wilderness. As you grow with Christ, you get to that stage where there is a oneness with the triune God, but God the Father has become so big in your life that you can literally see it with the eyes of your heart, which is also the ministry of the inner life. He becomes so big in your life that you can see why the universe is way too small to contain Him.  Only then you can understand why He holds the universe in His hand and it is no longer something you say. 

As you cultivate your oneness with Him, He does not take that knowledge and picture away from you. He is holier than your mind can imagine, and His love is not only as big and mysterious as an abyss, but, the intensity alone is suffocating that you cannot remain there for ten seconds, in human time. One thing for sure, as one learns to see God in His majesty, one learns to heed to Paul’s word in Philippians 3:10-18. Once you can see Him with the eyes of your heart, the magnitude of this being who, by His grace has chosen to bring us into a relationship with Him, you give up your idea of what a saint should look like and take on God’s standards because you realize that your idea is totally irrelevant to God’s.  I could go on and on and on. But, I hope this explains what I mean by the vastness between Him and us.