I am writing this without any self-importance
whatsoever. Besides, God never let me forget my humble beginning and how I was
nothing when He found me, therefore I cannot afford to pretend, be pretentious
or feel more deserving. I was in the wilderness for about 4 years and 10 months
when God showed me my new heart. He taught me how to hear Him and communicate
with Him from the new heart. Since then, while He still communicates with me
through visions, but He ceased to talk with me through dreams and also His
voice is no longer as loud as it used to be. Strangely, the same day He showed
me what my spiritual new heart looks like, He asked me to walk with Him like
Enoch did. First of all, I have no idea what it entails to walk like Enoch, but
for some reason I was taken aback when He asked me and I felt that I could not
give Him an honest answer. One of the reasons I was so reluctant was the fact
that I found out how dangerous it could be to live a life of surrender to Him,
therefore I knew this was not something I could take lightly, and in my heart,
I felt, there must be so much more to it.
I remember talking to my son
about that. It was almost as if I was looking for some feedback, but he did not
say anything to me. So, I put it all in the back of my mind and I was honestly
hoping that God would forget about it. It has been three years since He asked
me this question. Throughout this week God kept waking me up very early, which usually
means after two or three hours of sleep. I know it is God waking me up, because
when you are used to Him, He has some sort of imprint that no one else could
imitate. Secondly, when it is Him, it does not matter how little sleep I have,
for some reasons I feel energized, alert and fresh. By the time I reached
Wednesday, I knew He wanted to talk to me, but could not understand why He was
not talking. So, I used the time to pray and draw closer to Him. Last night, once
again I was up by 2:30 Am which is early when you
consider that I usually go to bed around midnight . I spent the first hour
praying, then for some reason I could
not stay in bed at all, as if the outside was calling my name.
It was an amazing time with God.
I still cannot explain what happened in between, the sudden change in my heart
and the overwhelmed need to walk closer to Him. The whole time of prayer was
about “supplication” to be able to walk with Him like Enoch did. It is strange
to see how I felt ready and also felt there is no other path and no alternative
for me except learning to walk with Him until I fade away. Anyway, after five
o’clock ,
I went back into the house and still continue praying, this time I was more
subdue. But, between these hours, it feels as if my life has changed. Through
His grace, He put this desire in my heart; I know that is His next goal and the next step for me.
I still do not know what it
means to walk with God like Enoch did. I am not sure of anything except that His
grace and Salvation is at work in me. As usual, the internet is filled with
information about Enoch walk. But, most of what I found so far, are people playing
guessing games and put forth their own hypothesis. I will keep praying and
listening to God to speak and lead me. By now I know Him well enough to know
that it will take time and He will also teach me. So, if anyone of you wants to
keep me in their prayers, I would be grateful. It does not matter your level of
spirituality with God, it matters if you are truly walking the walk with Him,
then I know your prayers will be heard. I am also asking for your prayers
because if indeed you have a heart for Him, then you know without a doubt that
praying for me to please Him, is really not about me or you, but about pleasing
His heart, Glorifying and delighting Him.
In the meantime, with wisdom
and discernment, I will try to find more on the subject. The reason I want to
find more on the subject, it is not because I want to go ahead of Him, but I
know through writing my blog and sharing with you guys, He is also teaching me.
So, I will keep you posted. Have a
blessed day!
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