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18 April, 2013

A Melancholic Day With Him! - Part 2

I found out my post on Tuesday April 2, 2013 has reached an all time high. The reason seems to be that it is being downloaded by the same people as they revisit the site to read the post again.  While I am happy, the post got some people thinking, I would not want you to be ill-informed by reading too much into what I wrote.

Let me explain what I mean. Remember this life is a long journey and constant battle. Personally, the more I am growing in the Lord I am finding out Christianity is truly serious business and cannot be a past time even for a moment. So, what we learn from God, as blogger we write about it, often time it is what you would call a “to be continued” type of thing. Because by the time I wrote the blog on April 02, God has been talking to me on this issue, leading me to understand better and directing me in how He wants me to handle the situation. I am now at a point where I found peace about it because I know my will is not my own, it belongs to Him to do as He pleases, and also the fact that I was at fault in sinning big time.

I would not want you to misunderstand the idea behind it all. While it is true God wants us to understand and apply His Word as it is in 1 Corinthians 5:9-13 and 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 but, understand that my motive to want these people in my life was not right with God. Every time I met with them I offended God in more ways than one because not only I was being disobedient to His Word, I also break my union with Him on purpose. This attitude was one of disrespect, offensive and ungrateful on my part. Furthermore, I failed on purpose to capture my selfish thoughts and bring them into captivity for His glory. I failed to fulfill His desires to cultivate the mind of Christ because you will find that once God sets you apart inwardly, it is exactly what happens. All of the sudden you know a life where I am tempted to say the Spirit takes control of your mind as He keeps injecting his thoughts in your mind to the point that sometimes it feels like you are flooded. I am sure some of you know what I am talking about; you find your mind 24/7 focusing on God no matter what you are doing. The strange thing is, when you sit and think about it, you are aware it is not you doing it, but the Holy Spirit’s work in you. 

To make matters worse, I have been in that frame of mind for years, and I was somewhat blind to my sin. I said somewhat, because deep in me I knew it was wrong to want to break the union with Him especially in this manner, but I minimized the sin, so it gave me an excuse to commit it over and over again. While God allowed it to be an ongoing thing in my life for years, but He also knows what is best for me and I know now that I have reached a place with Him where I cannot keep committing the same sin over and over again without affecting His plan for me. 

Through reading Leviticus, I understood God patience, mercy, grace, faithfulness and so on. But He is clear on the fact that we are not to mistake these attributes and take advantage of them, which is exactly what these Christians in 1 Corinthians 5 were doing. So, I have failed God because I used my own judgement in the flesh and put away righteous judgement as I was taught by the Holy Spirit while I was in the wilderness.

I needed a reminder from Leviticus because God could clearly see that I used righteous judgement to deal with some people in my life, as a result they never have the power to affect my relationship with Him. Yet, because it suited me, I did not use righteous judgement for another group and I allowed them to affect my relationship with God to the point that I dishonoured Him every time. God did not miss a thing in what I was doing. I really minimized those friends careless attitude toward God to suit my purpose.

When I had a chance to put it all into perspective (after my pity party) I realized my melancholy came from the fact that I was losing what I consider good friends but really behind it all, I knew I was found out and called into accountability by God. The other thing that caused my melancholy was also the fact that I needed to put away something that was pleasing to me.  It is really an amazing thing when we put God first, the angle we view what is happening to us changes completely.   

When we decide to apply those verses in our lives such as 1 Corinthians 5:9-13 and 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, and cut off people who are considered toxic to our relationship with Him, we better make sure we find balance through the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Before we cut ties with them, put it all in the hands of the Holy Spirit, remain willing to do as we are told with an open heart and He will come through for us (which is what I was supposed to do to begin with.) In fact in the past week, God showed me even though I sort of cut ties with these people, meaning the idea behind the friendships and the visits have stopped,  He still wants me to be available to interact with them, but  only whenever He sees fit. However He also made it clear that my relationship with them moving forward, will take the tone of a teacher for lack of a better word. 

Secondly, I questioned God because I have a couple of people in my life that are as bad if not worse (spiritually speaking.) He made it clear to me that He had His reasons for not including them. First, I am in a different frame of mind when I am with them. While I see these people often enough because I do not have a choice, but knowing who I am dealing with, I never let my guard down spiritually. So right then and there you can see how the motive and attitude matter to God. In my interaction with them, I never allowed their attitude toward God affect my relationship with Him and I can see a mile away, when Satan is using them to talk to me. The second reason He gave me for not including them is that He wants to use me in their lives, every time I see them.  

I hope I was able to shed some light on the first post and that while God is God and expects certain behaviour from us, we have to make sure He is leading before we get rid of some of our friends because we do not know who He wants to use us to help reach out to them. We find the right balance in Him alone.