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27 October, 2012

Emotional Affairs In "Christians" Homes



Emotional affairs may not be about sex, but it is certainly an extramarital affair and you’re definitely looking for something. An emotional affair is as powerful as a sexual affair and has the potential to destroy your marriage just as much. Some Christians are forced to live in marriages where emotional affairs on the part of the other spouse are as easy as breathing. As a result, there is a lack of emotional contact because the one who is doing the cheating finds it in their emotional affairs.  Some experts believe an emotional affair is more damaging than a physical one. 

As you spend more time thinking, anticipating. and fantasising about someone else, your partner suffers the consequences of you not being able to connect with him or she, and   the   intimacy between the two of you lessens considerably.  The need for an emotional affair indicates that the marriage is in trouble, for the more time you spend going from one emotional affair to the other, the situation between you and your spouse is not being worked on.  If you are having an emotional affair, you might kid yourself that there is no contact, but I have to ask, who exactly are you trying to convince? If you put it in the context of  Christians, we have contact and intimacy with God in our minds, our thoughts, and our hearts, so while your bodies might not be touching in an exchange, you certainly touch  the one of your fantasies with your senses and   violate him or her with your illusions. Let's not kid ourselves in thinking only men have emotional affairs because both sexes are likely to engage in it.

 If you call yourself a Christian, yet you find yourself living with what the Bible calls shameful lusts for years and years, then you belong to the group of people who probably have been living so much like a fool that God had to give you over to your desires. I know men and women who find that it is perfectly okay to be given to emotional affairs while thinking they are walking with God. Sadly, they find reasons to continue through reading the Bible. It is understandable if you are reading the Bible to make it fit your lifestyle, for I guarantee you that you will have no problem twisting God’s Word to make it suit your purposes. Nevertheless, there will be a time when He will call you on your lies and your illusions. Don’t be surprised if He asks you which Gospel where you living out? 

Living emotional affairs one after the other simply puts you in the category of someone with a depraved mind, it which is one of the things that God considers   wickedness, evil, greed, depravity, arrogant, boastful, and so on. It is evil because it is sin against God. It is arrogant because you are feeding your own ego. It is having a depraved mind because you have a deficiency when it comes to moral choices and a complete lack of integrity. You have no fear of God in your heart and no regards for your spouse or yourself for that matter. A depraved mind is perverted and corrupted. It shows greed because you are not content with the person God has placed in your care to look after with love, respect, and dignity, and it certainly means that righteousness is not in you.

 I know pastors and elders who give in to their basic instincts and allow themselves to live out this kind of deception. Then, instead of taking responsibility for their actions, they blame the women who have become the object of their affections. Often, they have something they exercise toward her that looks like hostility.  They really buy into the idea that it is not their fault but that the woman tempted them. I find strange that often, the woman in the church is not even aware that she is being violated by this so called minister. Remember how Adam tried that with God? "It was the woman’s fault." However, it didn't work with Adam, and it won't work with you. God who can see the heart, motive, and attitude knows better.  If you are in such situation, whatever your social standing in the church, I encourage you to stop blaming someone else and take responsibility for your own sin. As you do, ask God to take you out of this bondage to put holy repentance into your heart that will change your behaviour toward Him, your spouse, and your children.   

 If you have been practicing such deceptive behaviour for years while calling yourself a Christian, remember it is easy to say we are Christian, but that remains to be seen. If I were in your place, I would beg God to take me back and make me one of His so that He could deal with me in the same way that He deals with His children  who are given to sin.