A word to those heads of families who do have the worship of God in their houses 1/2

           Use Fourth.  To you that have set up this duty in your families, a few words of counsel for the more holy management thereof.

1. Think it not enoughto prove thee a saint that thou prayest in thy family; you may set up the wor­ship of God in your house and not enthrone God in your hearts.  God forbid that you should bless your­selves in this, and dub yourselves saints because of this.  Alas! you are not as yet got so far as some hypo­crites have gone.  The duty is good, but the outward performance of it doth not demonstrate any to be so. There are many turning to hell nearer heaven than this.  From the act therefore, look to the end thou proposest to thyself in it.  He is a foolish archer that shoots his arrow before he hath taken his aim aright. The question God asks is, ‘Dost thou at all pray to me, even to me?’  Thou mayest possibly affect others with thy praying, yea, be instrumental to break their hearts by thy confessions, and refresh their spirits by the sweet expressions that flow from thee, thyself playing the hypocrite all the while.  It behooves thee therefore to consider what is the weight and spring which sets this duty agoing in thy family.  Is it not to gain an opinion of being religious in others’ thoughts? If so, thou playest at small game.  Indeed, religion were a sorry thing if this were all to be got by it. When thou hast obtained this end it will not ease thee of one stitch of conscience, nor quench one spark of hell’s tormenting fire for thee.  But if this be it thou huntest after, it is a question whether thou believest there be such a place or no.  these few principles well girded by faith about the loins of thy mind—that there is a God, and he is a rewarder of those that dili­gently seek him; that heaven is prepared for the sin­cere, and hell gapes for the hypocrite—would be enough to set thy heart right in the duty.  Though the traveller minds not much his way where he appre­hends no danger, yet, when he comes to pass over a narrow bridge, where a wry step may hard his life by falling into a deep river that runs on each hand, he will surely watch his eye that is to guide his foot.  This is thy case.  Prayer is a solemn work as any thou canst go about in thy whole lifetime.  A by‑end in this may hazard thy soul as much as a wry look thy body in the other.  We need do no more to lose our souls than to seek ourselves.
2. Take heed thou blottest not thy holy duties with an unholy life.  If thou meanest to foul thy hands with sin’s black work in the day, why dost thou wash them in the morning with prayer?  It is to no purpose to begin with God and to keep the devil com­pany all the day after.  Religious orders in thy house and a disordered conversation ill agree.  O! do not render the worship of God base to the thoughts of thy servants and family.  Those that like the wine will yet nauseate it when brought in a cup that is nasty and unclean.  The duties of God’s worship command a reverence even from those that are carnal, but if per­formed by those that are loose and scandalous they grow fulsome.  Eli’s sons made the people loathe the Lord’s sacrifices.  By thy religious duties thou settest a fair copy.  O do not write it in sinking paper.  It is but a while thou art seen upon thy knees; and a little seeming zeal at thy devotion will not gild over a whole day's sinful miscarriage spent in passion, idleness, riot, or any other unholy course.  It is said Christ preached with power and ‘authority, not as the scribes,’ Matt. 7:29.  Not but that they had authority to preach, for they sat in Moses’ chair; but because they lost that reverence, by not walking suitably to their doctrine, which their place and work would have giv­en them in the consciences of their hearers.  ‘They said and did not,’ and thereby rendered their doctrine ineffectual.  If thou wouldst pray with authority and power, enforce thy duties with purity of life.
3. Preserve peace and unity in thy family.  A brawling family cannot be a praying family.  The apostle exhorteth husband and wife to love and unity, lest their prayers be ‘hindered,’ I Peter 3:7.  Conten­tions in a family, they both hinder the spirit of prayer, and also the answer to our prayers.

           (1.) They hinder the spirit of prayer.  The Spirit of God is a Spirit of peace and love, and therefore delights not to breathe in a troubled air.  The ready way to send him going is to brawl and chide.  ‘Grieve not the Holy Spirit of God,’ saith the apostle, Eph. 4:30.  And that we may not, hear what is his counsel: ‘Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice.’  When these are gone, then (and not before) look for his sweet company.  You may as well dwell comfortably together with your house on fire, as pray so together when you in the house are on fire.

           (2.) Contentions hinder the answer to our prayers.  If we pray in anger, God cannot be pleased. ‘The wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.’  A loud wind beats down the smoke.  Our prayers are compared to incense, but they will never ascend to heaven till this storm be laid.  Go to pray in this plight, and God will bid you come when you are better agreed.  The Spirit will not help in such prayers; and if the Spirit hath no hand in the inditing, Christ will have no hand in presenting the prayer.  And if Christ present it not, to be sure the Father will not receive it, for ‘through him we have an access by one Spirit unto the Father,’ Eph. 2:18.

A word to those heads of families that have not the worship of God in their houses

           Use Third.  Unto you that are heads of families, but yet have not had a heart to set up the worship of God in them.  I am afraid God hath little from you in your closets who hath none in your families.  It is no breach of charity to suspect your care for your own souls that show none for your relations.  If ever thou hadst been acquainted with God thyself and tasted any sweetness in secret communion with him, couldst thou thus rob thy family of so great a blessing?  Could you find such a treasure, and hide it from them you love so well?  Have they not souls as precious in their bosoms as thy own?  Art thou not willing they should find the way to heaven as well as thyself?  Yea, art thou not God's feoffee in trust to take care of their souls as well as of their bodies?  Dost thou owe no more to thy child and servant than to thy hog or horse?  Their bodies are looked to, and wilt thou do no more for the other?  How knowest thou but thy holy example in the duties of God’s worship among them may leave such impressions on their hearts as shall never be worn off to their dying day?  Did you never hear any, to the praise of God, acknowledge that the first turn towards heaven they ever had was by living in such a godly family, where, with the wor­ship of God, a savour and secret sense of the things of God did secretly steal into their hearts?  Certainly were our youth more acquainted with the duties of re­ligion in private, the minister’s work would be much facilitated in the public.  By this the consciences of many would be preserved tender, and so become pli­able to the counsels of the word preached; whereas now the devil hath a sad advantage—from the irre­ligion and atheism that is in most families—to harden their hearts to such a degree as renders them almost impenetrable.  It is no wonder to see that tree thrives not which stands but little in the sun; and as little wonder to see them continue profane and wicked that but once in a week come under the beams of an or­dinance, and then {neither} see nor hear any more of God till the Sabbath comes about again.

           Alas! how is it like the spark should then be found alive which had all along the week nothing to keep it from dying?  One well compareth the public ministry to the mason that builds the house, and family governors to them that make the brick.  Now, if you, by neglecting your duty, bring clay instead of brick, you make the minister’s work double.  The truth is, the neglect of family worship opens a wide flood‑gate to let in a deluge of profaneness into the church.  Thou livest now without the worship of God in thy family, and haply in a few years from under thy one hive swarms many other families, children or servants, and it is most like they will follow thy copy. Indeed, it were a wonder that they who are taught no better should do otherwise; and so irreligion is like to spread apace.  When thy head is laid in the dust thy profaneness is not buried in thy grave with thee.  No, thou leavest others behind to keep it alive.  O how dismal is it to lay the foundation of a sin to many generations!  The children unborn may rise up and curse such.  If I had heard my father pray, may the child say in a dying hour, or had been led into the acquaintance of the worship of God by his example, then had not I lived like a heathen as I have done. Well, as you would not have your children and serv­ants meet you in the other world with their mouths full of outcries and accusations—or if this, because it seems further off, dread you not, as you would not have them prove a plague and scourge to you in this world—let not your family government be irreligious. It is just that God should suffer thy servant to be un­faithful to thee in thy estate, who art so to his soul; that thy children when old should forget their duty to thee, that didst bring them up like heathens in their youth without learning them their duty to God.[

Counsel to those that live in praying families

           Use Second.  A word of counsel to you whom God hath planted in religious families.

1. Bless God for casting thy lot in so pleasant a seat and fruitful a soil for thy soul, where thou mayest suck in the sweet air of God’s Spirit that breathes from thy godly parents or other governors at the throne of grace from day to day; that thou art not wedged into some blind atheistical family, there to live with a godless crew, among whom thou mightest have passed thy days without any knowledge of thy Maker, and with them have been involved in that curse of God which is in the house of the wicked, and hangs like a black cloud in the threatening, ready to pour down upon the families that call not upon his name.  Look round thy neighbourhood and see how many families there are who live like brutes, as in so many dark caves and dens, where none of that heav­enly light is seen, from one end of the year to the other, which shines on thy face every day.  What nur­ture and breeding should thy soul have had under the tutoring of such parents and masters, who themselves live ‘without God in the world?’  The queen of Sheba counted them happy that stood before Solomon, not so much that they might see his pomp, but hear his wisdom.  O happy thou—if grace to know thy privi­lege—that thou ministerest unto a godly master, art under gracious parents, or yoked to a holy husband, from whose devout prayers, pious counsels, and Christian examples, thou mayest gain more than if they had the wealth, delicacies, and preferments of Solomon’s court to confer upon thee.

           2. Look you make improvement of this spiritual advantage, or else it will go worse with you than others.  Rebellious Israel is told, ‘They shall know that they had a prophet among them.’  The meaning is, they shall know it to their cost; and so shall those that have lived in families, under such governors who went before them, and, as it were, chalked out a way to heaven by their godly example, lamenting over their precious souls so oft with their prayers and tears.  If such miscarry, they shall know to their terror what families they once live in but had not a heart to prize or improve the mercy.  God forbid that any of you should find the way to hell out of such doors, and force your way to damnation through such means af­forded to prevent it.  What will Cain answer when his father that begat him shall bear witness against him, and say, ‘Lord, this wicked child of mine never learned his atheism of me.  I brought him to thy wor­ship and taught him thy fear, but he liked it not, and first proved a murderer and then an apostate.  First, he behaved himself wickedly in thy service, and then ran out of thy doors and cast it quite off.’  What will then the flouting wife of David—who, though of a wicked stock, was privileged with so gracious a hus­band—say when she shall be accused for making him her laughing‑stock for his zeal in the worship of God? Or how will the wicked children of the same holy man who walked with such uprightness in his house look their godly father on the face at the great day? You, my children, said dying Mr. Bolton, dare not, I believe, meet me at the day of judgment in an unre­generate state.  The weight of such holy men’s prayers and admonitions will then sink their ungodly rela­tions deeper into hell than others who drop thither out of dark and blind families.

Reproof to those who unnecessarily throw themselves to live in families that are prayerless

           Use First.  What we have said of family prayer gives reproof to those Christians who needlessly, and upon choice, throw themselves upon such families where the worship of God is not set up.  Dost thou know whither thou goest?  Thou art running with Jo­nah from the presence of the Lord, and mayest expect a storm to be sent after thee.  Haply thou art a serv­ant, who once didst live in a godly family, where thou hadst many sweet privileges and spiritual advantages —a table spread every day for thy soul as oft as for thy body, besides some exceedings now and then of extra­ordinary duties—and thereby didst enjoy a kind of heaven upon earth; but, for a little ease in thy work, or gain in thy wages, thou hast made this unhappy change, to put thyself under the roof of those who will sooner learn thee to curse and swear than to pray; and where, by the orders kept in the family, thou canst not know a Lord's‑day from a week-day, or whether there be such a thing as religious worship and invocation due to thy Maker or no.  Alas, poor crea­ture!  What! wert thou even now in so green a pas­ture, and now wandering upon the barren heath, where nothing is to be got for thy precious soul? —where, as on the mountains of Gilboa, none of those heavenly dews fall with which thy soul was wont to be wet and watered?  Truly thou art gone out of God’s blessing into the warm sun.  Had God, indeed, cast thee by a necessary providence on such a place, thou mightest then have hoped to keep thy spiritual plight, though wanting thy former repast; but, being thy own choice, it is to be feared thou wilt soon pine and languish in thy spiritual state.  Leanness is like to shrivel up thy soul, while thou hast thy fat morsels in thy mouth.  Thy spirit will grow light and poor, though thy purse may grow heavy.  We shall have thee ere long complain, as Naomi, that thou ‘wentest out full, but comest home empty.’  How darest thou choose to dwell where God himself doth not by his gracious presence? He inhabits the praises of his people, and takes his abode in the house of prayer. And if the Holy Spirit dwells not, walks and breathes not in the house, it must needs be haunted with the evil one.  Make thy stay there as short as may be. Leave the dead to dwell with the dead, atheist with atheist; thy safety will be to get among better com­pany.  Is the church so barren of godly families, that no such are to be found who will open their door to let thee in?  Go inquire where such live, and offer to do the meanest office in that house, where thou may­est enjoy thy former privileges for thy soul, rather than stay where thou art.  The very beasts groan to serve the wicked, whereas holy angels themselves dis­dain not to minister unto the saints.

           But haply thou wilt say, it is not thy choice, but necessity.  Thou art by thy parents put apprentice to a master that is wicked, or thou livest under thy own parents’ shadow, and thou canst not help it though they be profane; or with a husband whom thou didst hope, at thy choice of him, would prove a help meet to thy soul, but thou findest it otherwise; what would you have us in this case do?

1. Mourn under it as thy great affliction.  Thus David did when he lived in Saul’s wicked family, whose court and family, for irreligion and profane­ness, he compareth to the barbarous Arabians and profane Ishmaelites, lamenting he was cooped up with such, whom, by his relation, he could not well leave, and for their wickedness he could worse bear. ‘Woe is me that I sojourn in Meshech, and dwell in the tents of Kedar.’
2. Be the more in thy secret communion with God.  If thou didst live with a niggard^[1]who pinched thee for thy belly, wouldst thou not, though thou hadst but a penny in thy purse, lay it out for bread rather than starve?  Thou hadst need have a bit the more in a corner because thou art cut short of thy daily bread in the family.  Thy soul cannot live with­out communion with God.  Take that thyself which others will not be so kind to allow thee; and, that thou mayest do this, husband all thy ends of time the better.  Thou shalt thus, by God’s blessing, (1.) Keep thy spiritual life and vigour; (2.) Be antidoted against the infection of that profane air thou breathest in; and, (3.) Have a vent to ease thy incumbered spirit of those griefs, reproaches, and trials thou canst not but meet with from such relations.  Gracious Hannah had an adversary in the same family—Peninnah by name —who provoked her sorely, even to make her fret; but this sent her to God in prayer, and there she eased her soul of her burden.
3. Adorn thy piety to God by faithful perform­ance of thy duty to thy relations, though they be not so good as thou desirest.  Art thou a servant and thy master profane?  Be thou submissive and humble, diligent and faithful.  Let him see that thou darest not rob him of thy time by sloth, or wrong him in his estate by falseness—though he be a thief to thy soul by not providing for it—but dost, with thy utmost skill and strength, endeavour to discharge thy trust to him.  We see too oft that the unfaithfulness and neg­ligence of some professing servants, do set their car­nal masters further off from the worship of God than before they were; yea, make them loathe the duties of religion, which otherwise they might have been won unto, till at last they come to think all profession and forwardness in the duties of piety towards God, to be but a hypocritical cloak to cover some unfaithfulness to men, and to say of their servants when they beg leave to go to a sermon, and wait on God in his ordin­ances, as Pharaoh of the Israelites, ‘Ye are idle, ye are idle: therefore ye say, Let us go and do sacrifice to the Lord,’ Ex. 5:17.  Thus, as the apostle tells us, the name of God and his doctrine comes to be blasphemed by the ill behaviour of professing servants, I Tim. 6:1.

           Again, art thou a wife, and thy husband carnal, who lives without any care of his own soul, or those under his roof? Pray the more for him because he prays not with thee.  Pray thou for thy family in thy closet, though he neglects it in the house.  But, with this, be sure to commend thy piety to thy husband’s conscience, and make it as legible as may be to his eye, by thy meekness of wisdom in thy carriage to him, and whole conversation in thy family.  A fair print invites to read the book.  Religion fairly printed in thy meek and dutiful behaviour to him, and dis­cretion in all thy affairs, how knowest thou but it may in time win him to the consideration of the excellency of religion, which makes thee so officious and faithful to him? He is an unwise angler that scares the fish he desires to take; and she an unwise Christian that, by her peevish and undutiful carriage, offends her hus­band, whose conversion she desires and prays for

Three objections to family prayer answered 2/2

      Objection (c).  Others there are who object not their own weakness as the reason of their not praying in their families, but the wickedness of others in their family.  They are confident enough of their own gifts, but question others’ grace, and whether they may pray with such.

           Answer.  I will grant there are such in thy family.  But is this a ground to lay aside the worship of God? Little thinkest thou whither this principle will lead. By this principle the worship of God should not only be laid aside in most private houses but in all our public congregations also.  If thou mayest not pray in thy family because a wicked person is present, then not join in prayer with any public congregation, be­cause thou canst never be assured that they are all godly; nor must the minister pray there, for fear some wicked ones should be in the company; and so this part of divine worship must be thrown out of the church till we can find an assembly made up of all true saints; and where such a one ever was, or will be on this side of heaven, none I think is able to tell. Surely the saints in Scripture were not thus scrupu­lous.  How oft did Christ himself pray with his disci­ples, though a Judas was among them!  I have else­where, clearly I think, proved it is the duty of all, even of the wicked, to pray; and that God will never charge the act of prayer upon him as sin, but his obliquity therein; much less will he impute to thee another’s sinful frame of heart with whom thou join­est in prayer.  Pray thou in faith, and his unbelief shall not prejudice thy faith, nor his pride thy humil­ity.  Thou joinest with him in the duty, but hast no communion with his sin.  You may as well say, if a cut‑purse in the time of prayer should pick another’s pocket, that all the company are guilty of his theft. How much better were it, Christian, to fear lest thou pray with a wicked heart in thy own bosom, than with a wicked person in thy family?  Thou art like neither to hurt thy own soul by praying in his company, nor better his by omitting for his sake.  May be, though he be carnal, yet he is outwardly complying, and how knowest thou but thy prayer—especially in his pres­ence—may pierce his heart, and give a lift towards his conversion?  Such I have heard of who have had the first sensible impression made upon their hearts in this duty of prayer.  If he be not only carnal, but a mocker at the worship of God, and a disturber of the duty, better thou shouldst, with Abraham, turn such an Ishmael out of doors, than for his sake turn God out of doors by denying him the worship due unto him.

Three objections to family prayer answered 1/2

Objection (a).  But what necessity is there that a family must meet jointly to worship God together? will it not serve if every one prays for himself in his closet?

           Answer.  A family is a collective body.  As such it owes a worship to God.  It is he that ‘setteth the solitary in families,’ Ps. 68:6; and as their founder, will be vouched by them. ‘Pour out thy fury upon the fam­ilies that call not on thy name,’ Jer. 10:25.  It holds in domestic families as well as national; foe he rears up the one as well as the other.  There are family sins; and these are to be confessed by the family, as na­tional sins by the nation.  There are family wants, and they require the joint supplications of the family. There are family occasions and employments, and those call for the united force of the family, to pull down a blessing upon their joint labours for the good of the whole society.  ‘Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it.’  And is it not fit that they who join in work should join in prayer for a blessing on their endeavour?  There are family mer­cies that the whole society share in; and is it not meet that they which eat of the same feast should join in the same song of praise to the founder of it?  In a word, there are judgements that may wrap up the whole family, and where all are concerned in the danger all should lend their help to prevent it—and many hand make light work.  A rope twisted of many cords is stronger than those very cords would be if single; and so the prayer of many together more prevalent, because likely to be more fervent, than of the same persons severally employed in their closets —though I would not learn one to justle with the other.  There is room for both; why should they fall out?  Polanus (in his Syntag. de Terræmotu) tells us of a town in the territory of Berne in Switzerland, consis­ting of ninety houses, that was in the year 1584 destroyed by an earthquake, except the half of one house, where the master of the family was earnestly praying with his wife and children upon their bended knees to God.

           Objection (b).  O, but I have not abilities and gifts for such a work, and better left undone than spoiled in the doing.

           Answer.  No more hadst thou skill and ability for thy trade when thou wentest first to be an apprentice. Apply thy mind to the work; bind the duty upon thy conscience; search the scripture, where matter for prayer is laid up, and rules how to perform the duty. Study thy heart, and observe the state of thy family, till the sense of the sins, wants, and daily mercies thereof—which thou hast lodged in thy memory—be left warm upon thy spirit.  In a word, exercise thyself frequently in secret prayer, be earnest there for his Spirit to enable thee in thy family service, and take heed of driving the Holy Spirit from thee, whose as­sistance thou prayest for, by sloth, worldliness, pride, or any other course of wickedness.  Then, up and be doing, and thou mayest comfortably expect God will be with thee, both to assist and accept thee in the work.  Moses was sick of his employment that God called him to, and fain would have put it off with this mannerly excuse, ‘I am not eloquent,...but I am of a slow speech.’  But this objection was soon answered: ‘And the Lord said unto him, Who hath made man’s mouth? or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the see­ing, or the blind? have not I the Lord?  Now there­fore go, and I will be with thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say,’ Ex. 4:11, 12.  His call was extra­ordinary, and his assistance was such.  Thy call to this duty, as the head of a family, is ordinary, and so thou mayest look for ordinary assistance.  Haply thou shalt never have an ability, to such a degree, with a flow of words to express thyself as some others.  But let not that discourage thee.  God looks not at the pomp of words and variety of expressions, but sincerity and devotion of the heart.  The key opens not the door because gilt, but because fitted to the wards of the lock.  Let but the matter of thy prayer be according to God’s mind, holy and warrantable, and the temper of thy heart humble and fervent, and no fear but thou shalt speed.  Yea, let the prayer be old—pray to‑day what thou didst yesterday; be but sure to bring new affections with the old prayer, and thou shalt be friendly received into God’s presence, though thou canst not on a sudden put thy requests into a new shape.  God will not shut his child out of doors be­cause he comes not every day in a new-fashioned suit.

     

How it can be proved that family prayer is a duty

1. That general command for prayerwill bring this of family prayer within the compass of our duty: ‘I will there­fore that men pray every where,’ I Tim. 2:8.  If ‘everywhere,’ then surely, saith Mr. Perkins upon this place, in our families, where God hath set us in so near relation to one another.  Paul salutes the church in Aquila and Priscilla’s house, Rom. 16:5.  And were they not a strange church who should live to­gether without praying together?—had they deserved so high and honourable a name if they had thus shut God out of doors?  This were to call them a church, as a grove is called lucus, à non lucendo—from not giving light.  The Jews, when they built any of them a new house to dwell in, they were to dedicate it, Deut. 20:5; and the manner of dedicating their new-built houses was with prayer, as you may see by the title of Ps. 30, penned on this occasion: ‘A Psalm and Song at the dedication of David ‘s house.’  This they did—

           (1.) To express their thankfulness to God, who had given them a habitation.  Indeed, it is no small mercy to have a settled place for our abode—a convenient house for ourselves and relations peace­ably to dwell in; it is more than those precious saints had ‘who wandered in deserts, and in mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth,’ Heb. 11:38; yea, than Christ himself had: ‘The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head. Matt. 8:20.

           (2.) By this they were admonished to ac­knowledge them­selves tenants to God, and that they held their houses of him, their great landlord, upon condition of doing him homage, by making their houses as so many sanctuaries for his worship while they lived in them.  So Mollerus upon the place.

2. The trust which governors of families are charged withwill evince it is their duty to set up prayer in their families. Every master of a family hath curam animarum—he hath the care of souls upon him as well as the minister.  He is prophet, king, and priest in his own house, and from every one of these will appear this his duty.

           (1.) He is a prophet, to teach and instruct his family. Wives are bid to learn at home of their husbands, I Cor. 14:34, 35.  Then sure they are to teach them at home.  Parents are commanded to instruct their children, ‘Ye shall teach them your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house,’ Deut. 11:19.  And, ‘To bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord,’ Eph. 6:4.  Now, there is a teaching and admonition by prayer to God and praising of God, as well as in catechising of them: ‘Teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns,’ Col. 3:16.  The master’s praying with his family will teach them how to pray when by them­selves.  The confessions he makes, petitions he puts up, and mercies he acknowledgeth in his family duty, are an excellent means to furnish them with matter for their devotions.  How comes it to pass that many servants and children, when they come to be them­selves heads of families, are unable to be their relations’ mouth to God in prayer—but because they have, in their minority, lived in prayerless families, and were kept in ignorance of this duty, whereby they have neither head nor heart, knowledge or affections, suitable for such a work?

           (2.) He is a king in his house, to rule his family in the fear of God.  As the political magistrate’s duty is to set up the true worship of God in his kingdom, so he is to do it in his house.  He is to say with Josh­ua, ‘I and my house, we will serve the Lord.’  Were it a sin in a prince, though he served God himself in his palace, yet if he did not set up the public worship of God in his kingdom?  Surely then it is a sin the gov­ernor of a family not to set it up in his house, though he prays himself in his closet.

           (3.) He is a priest in his own house, and where there is a priest there must be a sacrifice; and what sacrifice among Christians but the spiritual sacrifices of prayer and thanksgiving?  Thus David, we find, went from public ordinances to private duty with his family, ‘Then David returned to bless his household,’ II Sam. 6:20; that is, saith one upon the place, he re­turned to worship God in private with them, and to crave a blessing from God upon them.  And this hints a third particular.

3. The practice of saints in all ageshath been to have a religious care of their families.  Good Joshua promised for himself and his house that they would serve the Lord.  If he meant the inward worship of God, he promised more than he was able to perform in regard of his family, for he could not thrust grace into their hearts.  We must therefore understand him that it should not be his fault if they did not, for he would use all means in his power to make them do so.  He would set them a holy copy in his own ex­ample, and he would take care that they should not live without the worship of God in his family.  We find Elisha praying with his servant, II Kings 4:33, mas­ter and man together—queen Esther and her maids keeping private fast in her family, Est. 4:16.  Now it were uncharitable to think that she was a stranger to the ordinary exercise of this duty, who was so forward to perform the extraordinary, and put oth­ers also upon it.  Surely this gracious woman did not begin her acquaintance with this duty now, and take it up only at a dead lift in her present strait.  That were a gluttonous fast, indeed, that should devour the worship of God in her family for all the year after. Cornelius’ family religion is upon record, ‘A devout man, and one that feared God with all his house, which gave much alms to the people, and prayed to God alway,’ Acts 10:2.  Mark, he was ‘a devout man, and feared God with all his house.’  Fear is oft put for the worship of God.  God is called ‘the Fear of Isaac,’ Gen. 31:53; that is, the God whom Isaac worshipped.  ‘Him shall ye fear, and him shall ye worship;...neither shall ye fear other gods,’ II Kings 17:36, 37; that is, ye shall not worship or pray unto them.  Thus we may conceive Cornelius was a devout man, and feared God with his house.  Surely he that was merciful to the poor at his door, to refresh his pinched bowels with his alms, could not be so cruel to his relations’ souls within his house as to lock up his religion in a closet from them.

Social prayer distinguished as family prayer or church prayer

Third Distinction.  Social and joint prayer is either private in the family or public in the church.  I begin with the first—family prayer.

Family prayer a duty incumbent on the head of the family.          First.  Social or joint prayer may be private in the family.  By a family I mean a society of certain persons in mutual relation each to other, natural or civil, who live together under the domestic govern­ment of husband, master, or parent.  Wherever such a family is found, it is the duty of the governor of it to set up the worship of God there, and this part of wor­ship in particular—prayer in the family.  The Jews had their family sacrifice, Ex. 12:21, which the master of the house performed at home with his family. There still remains a spiritual sacrifice of prayer and thanksgiving, which every master of a family is with his household to offer up to God.  The private house is the Christian’s ‘chapel of ease,’ to worship God in daily with his company.  The church began in a fam­ily, and it is upheld still by the piety of private families.  If the nursery be not preserved, the orchard must needs in time decay.

Question.  But the question will be, how can it be proved that family prayer is a duty?

Answer.  I hope none will require an set place of Scripture commanding this in terminis—in set terms, or else not believe it a duty incumbent upon them. This were the way not only to lose this part of God’s worship, but other duties also.  It will trouble us to find an express word commanding us totidem verbis, or, in plain terms, to keep the Christian Sabbath, or to baptize our infant children; yet, God forbid we should, with some, shake off the ordinances upon this account.  That which by necessary consequence can be deduced from Scripture, is Scripture, as well as that which is laid down in express terms.  And if this will content you—which I am sure should—I will hope to give you some satisfaction.

Directions for secret prayer

1. Direction. Let it be your constant trade. Rolling stones gather no moss. Unstable and uncon¬stant hearts will never excel in this or any other duty. The spirit of prayer is a grace infused, but advanced to further degrees by daily exercise. Frequency begets familiarity, and familiarity confidence. We go boldly into his house whom we often visit.

2. Direction. Let it be true secret prayer, and not have its name for naught. Take heed no noise be heard abroad of what thou dost in secret. ‘Enter into thy closet,’ said Christ, ‘and when thou hast shut thy door, pray.’ Be sure thou shuttest it so close that no wind of vainglory comes in. Rather than there should, shut the door of thy lips as well as of thy closet; God can hear though thy mouth delivers not the message. It is true, when Daniel prayed he ‘opened his window,’ but it was to show his faith, not his pride—that he might let the world know how little he feared their wrath, not that he coveted their praise. God curiously observes which way the eye turns, and it is a dishonour he will not bear that thou shouldst be pensioner to the world in expecting thy reward from man and not himself. Lose not God’s euge —well done! for man’s plaudite—applause. This is to change heaven for earth, and that is a bad bargain.

3. Direction. Be free and open. Come not to God in secret and keep thy secrets from him; speak thy very heart, and hide nothing from him. To be re¬served and close is against the law of friendship. ‘I have called you friends,’ saith Christ, ‘for all things which I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.’ Is Christ so open hearted not to conceal anything he knows for our good? and wouldst thou have any secret box in thy cabinet, that he—if thou couldst help it—should not see? Art thou confessing sins? Strip thy soul naked, and shuffle not with God. If thou dost, it speaks one of these two things—thou hast some secret design of sin for the future; or har¬bourest an ill opinion of God in thy breast concerning thy past sins, as if he would not be faithful to forgive what thou art free to confess; like some prodigal child who, though his father promiseth to pay all his debts, and forgive him also, yet because the sum is vast, dares not trust his father with the whole truth, but conceals some in his confession. The first of these is not the spot of God's children; but into the latter they sometimes fall, and, for a while, may be held by Sa¬tan’s policy and their own unbelief. But consider, Christian, whatever thy sin is, and how great soever, yet the way to obtain pardon is by confessing, not concealing it. Neither is it concealed from God, though thou confess it not. But God likes a confes¬sion out of thy own mouth so well, that as soon as thou dost lay open thy own shame, he hath obliged himself faithfully to cover it with the mantle of pardoning mercy. ‘If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins,’ I John 1:9. Again, art thou making thy requests to God? carry no burden away upon thy spirit, through a foolish mod-esty and fear of troubling God too much, or asking too deep, so long as the promise is on thy side. Christ never complained that his saints opened their mouths, or enlarged their desires, too wide in prayer; nay, he bids his disciples open them wider, and tells them, ‘they had asked nothing;’ that is, nothing pro¬portionable to the large heart in his breast to give.

4. Direction. It must be seasonable. This gives everything its beauty. (1.) Take heed that it doth not justle with public worship. The devil takes great pleasure in setting the ordinances of God at variance one against another. Some he persuades to cry up public prayer, and neglect secret; and others he would fain bring out of love with the public, by applauding the other; whereas there is room enough for both in thy Christian course. Moses, though he killed the Egyptian, yet the two Israelites, when scuffling to¬gether, he laboured to reconcile. Beware of giving Satan such an advantage as to neglect the communion of saints in the public, under a pretence of praying in thy closet. This is to set one ordinance to fight with another. They are sister ordinances, set them not at variance. Deny thy presence in the public, and thou art sure to lose God's presence in thy closet: ‘He that turneth away his ear from hearing the law, even his prayer shall be abomination,’ Prov. 28:9. (2.) Look that it interferes not with thy duty in thy particular calling. As thou art to shut thy closet door to pray, so open thy shop windows for following thy calling in the world. Go into thy closet before thy shop, or else thou art an atheist; but, when thou hast been with God there, attend thy shop and calling, or else thou art a hypocrite. Thou consistest of soul and body; God divides thy employment between both. He that is not diligent in the duty he owes God concerning both, is conscientious in neither. When every part in the body hath its due nourishment distributed to it health is preserved. So here. He is the sound Chris¬tian that divides his care wisely for his spiritual state and temporal also. Sleep not away thy time for prayer in the morning, and then think thou art suf-ficiently excused for omitting it because thy worldly business calls thee another way. Jade not thy body with over-labouring, nor overcharge thy mind with too heavy a load of worldly cares, in the day, and then think that the weariness of the one, and discompo¬sure of the other, will discharge thee from praying again at night. This is to make a sin thy apology for neglecting a duty.

Second. Social Prayer—that which is performed in joint communion with others. It is double. Either it is private or public—family prayer or church prayer. To this, however, we assigned a separate distinction.

USE OR APPLICATION - What communion with God in secret prayer, or the neglect of it, implies

Use First. Let us here admire the condescending love of God, in stooping to hold any communion with his poor creatures, while they are clad with rags of mortality, and those besmeared also with many sinful pollutions. It is not enough that in heaven, when we shall put on our robes of glory—befitting the atten¬dance of so great a King—that then he will take us in¬to his royal presence, and give us places with those that stand above him; but will he even now, while our garments smell of the prison, and before our grave-cloth es be quite thrown off, admit us to be so near an accession? ‘What manner of love is this,’ that we should now be ‘called the children of God,’ and as such have liberty to speak our gibberish and broken language, and that with delight to him who continu¬ally hath the praises of blessed angels and glorified saints sounding in his ears! Nay, yet more, this liber-ty to be indulged us, not only when we come together and make up a choir in our public worship, but in our solitary and secret addresses! That a poor creature, whenever himself hath but a heart to step aside, and give God a visit in any corner of his house, should find the arms of so great a majesty open to embrace him!—this is so stupendous that we may better admire than express it. Should we see a poor beggar speaking familiarly with a great king—who, while all his courtiers stand bare before him, takes him into his embraces, and lets him familiarly whisper in his ear —might it not draw forth our wonderment at such an act of grace from majesty to beggary? This is the glor¬ious privilege of every saint on earth, who, when he prays, hath liberty to come up to the throne of God surrounded with glorious angels, and into his bosom to pour out his soul as freely as the child may speak to his indulgent father. O thank our good friend and brother, the Lord Jesus Christ, for this! It is he that brings us into the presence of God, and sets us before his face—as Joseph his brethren before Pharaoh. Whose face need a saint fear to look upon, that may thus boldly speak to God? Comfort thyself with this, Christian, when thou goest with thy petition to any great man on earth, and he will not be seen of thee —or such a rich kinsman, and he will not own thee —turn thy back of them both, and go to thy God, he will look on thee, and in his Son own thee for his child. Thou hast his ear that can command their heart and purse too. Jacob’s prayer altered his broth-er’s purposes, that he who meant to kill him falls on his neck to kiss him. Nehemiah had a boon to beg of the Persian king, and he goes—a carnal heart would think—the farthest way about to obtain it. He knocks first at heaven door: ‘Prosper, I pray thee, thy servant this day, and grant him mercy in the sight of this man,’ Neh. 1:11. And now to court he goes, where, behold, he finds the door open before he knocks. For the king said unto him, ‘For what dost thou make request?’ ch. 2:4. We may, you see, open two doors with this one key. At the prayer of this holy man, God and man both give their gracious answer. The Christian surely cannot long be in want if he can but pray. As one said, the pope would never want money so long as he could hold a pen in his hand. It is but praying in faith, and the thing is done which the Christian would have. Be careful for nothing; but... let your requests be made known unto God; and the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts,’ &c., Php. 4:6, 7. ‘Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass,’ Ps. 37:5. the saints’ bills are received at first sight, whatever the sum is. Christ is our undertaker to see it paid; and his credit holds still in his Father’s bosom, and will, to procure welcome for all his saints, even to the least and last of them that shall be found on earth.

Use Second. This blots their names from among the number of saints that were never acquainted with this duty. What! a saint, and content with what thou hast of God, in joint communion with others, at church or family, so as never to desire any privacy between God and thyself! Canst find no errand to in¬vite thee to speak with God alone? Thou bringest thy saintship into question. When a prince passeth by in the street, then all—even strangers themselves—will come in a throng to see him. But his child thinks not this enough, but goes home with him, must live with him, and be under his eye daily. Hypocrites and pro¬fane ones will crowd into public ordinances, but a gra¬cious soul cannot live without more retired converse with him.

Use Third. Be exhorted, O ye saints, to hold up your secret acquaintance with God. ‘I am persuaded’ —as Paul said to Festus in another case—that none of these things’ which I have spoken concerning this duty, ‘are hidden from thee,’ if a saint. ‘Believest thou’ that this is thy duty? ‘I know that thou believ¬est.’ Dost thou pray in secret? I dare not question it; the Spirit of Christ which is in thee will not suffer thee to be wholly a stranger from it. But I would pro¬voke thee to be more abounding therein. ‘These things have I written,’ saith John, ‘unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God,...that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God,’ I John 5:13 —that is, that you may believe more. And these things do I now write to you that call upon the name of God in secret, that you may call oftener; and this you need, except you lived further from Satan’s quar¬ters than the rest of your brethren do. No duty more opposed by Satan or our own slothful hearts than this. The devil can allow you your church prayers, your family duties, and now and then a formal one in your closet too, and yet make his market of you. Therefore take along with you these three or four directions for your better managing thereof.