A word to those heads of families who do have the worship of God in their houses 2/2

4. Be very choice whom thou makest a member of thy family.  Get, if thou canst, such under thy roof as may give a lift with thee in thy family worship.  Though it be not thy sin to pray with a wicked wife and servant; yet is it thy sin to make choice of such for thy relations, if otherwise thou canst help it.  Yet, alas! how little is this considered, though the blessing and comfort of the family be deeply concerned there­in!  A little beauty, honour, or pelf do too oft blind the eyes and bribe the judgments of those we may hope to be themselves gracious, that they can yoke themselves with such as are very unmeet to draw with them in heaven way and work.  David knew that Mi­chal came of a bad stock, but haply hoped to bring her over to comply with him in the service of God, and we see what a grievous cross she proved to him. Solomon tells us of some that trouble their own house, Prov. 15:27.  He that for carnal respects takes a wicked wife into his bosom, or servant into his family, is the man that is sure to do this.  Haply when he would pray and praise God, his wife, like Job’s, will bid him curse.  When he is at duty she will despise him in her heart, and make a mock of his zeal, as Mi­chal did of David’s.  And so they who, for some natural abilities they see in a servant, venture on him, though wicked and ungodly, pay dearly for it.  Such often bring with them that plague of profaneness which infects the rest; so that, what they earn their masters with their hands, they rob them of with their sins, which brings the curse of God to their family. Who that is wise would build a house with timber that is on fire?  If the servant thou entertainest be wicked, fire is in him that will endanger thy house.  Make it therefore thy care to plant a godly family.  This was David’s resolution—haply he saw the evil of his former choice: ‘Mine eyes shall be upon the faithful of the land, that they may dwell with me: he that walketh in a perfect way, he shall serve me.  He that worketh deceit shall not dwell within my house: he that telleth lies shall not tarry in my sight,’ Ps. 101:6, 7. Then the music will be sweet in thy family duties, when thou canst get a consort into thy house; such whose souls are in tune for those holy services thou art to join with them in.
5. Keep a diary of thy family sins and mercies, that so neither the one may escape thy confession and humiliation, nor the other thy grateful recognition.  If this were observed, we should not come with such jejune and barren hearts to the work, as now, alas! most do.  Take some time to affect thy heart with both of these.  The brokenness of thy heart who pray­est, will conduce much towards the same disposition in those that join with thee.  Nothing melts metal sooner than to pour on it {that} which is melted. The drowsy speaker prays oft the rest asleep that join with him.  Take heed, therefore, of formality; this is the canker which eats out the very heart of religious du­ties.  Remember thou art to thy family what the minister is to the public assembly.  As the deadness of his heart in prayer and preaching hath a bad opera­tion upon his people, to make them like himself, so hath thine on thy family.  Thou dost not only suffer a personal loss to thyself, but wrongest the rest of thy company.  As when thou wastest thy estate, thy wife, children, servants, and all fare the worse, and must pinch for it; so when thou chokest up thy heart with inordinate cares of the world, or any other way indis­posest thyself by thy sinful walking for the duty of prayer, thy whole family goes by the loss with thee.

           6. Observe the fittest seasons for duty in thy family, when with most freedom and the least distur­bance it may be performed.  In the morning take the opportunity before a throng of worldly business crowds in upon thee.  In some families, I have ob­served, where they are in great employments, that if duty be delayed till some worldly occasions be des­patched, then, either it hath been shut out, or shut up in such straits of time that the slighty slovenly man­ner of performing it hath proved little better than the total neglect.  To prevent this disorder, it is best to forestall the world's market, betimes in the morning to set upon the duty, and offer up to God the first-fruits of the day, before our thoughts meet with a di­version.  We read that the Israelites gathered their manna early ‘in the morning,’ and ‘when the sun waxed hot it melted,’ Ex. 16:21.  I would wish, espe­cially, such who have multiplicity of worldly occa­sions, to take their time for communion with God early, while their thoughts are more compact, before they are hot in their worldly business, lest they then find their thoughts so diffused and scattered among other businesses, as will not easily be gathered into a close and united attendance upon God in the duty. Again, when night comes, delay not the work till ye are more fit to go to your pillow than to your cushion, to sleep than to pray.  If the eye sleep, the soul can­not well wake.  Especially consider your servants that labour hard in the day; O do not expose them to the temptation of drowsy prayers!  If our hearts took de­light in the work, we would plot and contrive which would be the best time for communion with God, even as lovers do how and when they may most privately meet together.

A word to those heads of families who do have the worship of God in their houses 1/2

           Use Fourth.  To you that have set up this duty in your families, a few words of counsel for the more holy management thereof.

1. Think it not enoughto prove thee a saint that thou prayest in thy family; you may set up the wor­ship of God in your house and not enthrone God in your hearts.  God forbid that you should bless your­selves in this, and dub yourselves saints because of this.  Alas! you are not as yet got so far as some hypo­crites have gone.  The duty is good, but the outward performance of it doth not demonstrate any to be so. There are many turning to hell nearer heaven than this.  From the act therefore, look to the end thou proposest to thyself in it.  He is a foolish archer that shoots his arrow before he hath taken his aim aright. The question God asks is, ‘Dost thou at all pray to me, even to me?’  Thou mayest possibly affect others with thy praying, yea, be instrumental to break their hearts by thy confessions, and refresh their spirits by the sweet expressions that flow from thee, thyself playing the hypocrite all the while.  It behooves thee therefore to consider what is the weight and spring which sets this duty agoing in thy family.  Is it not to gain an opinion of being religious in others’ thoughts? If so, thou playest at small game.  Indeed, religion were a sorry thing if this were all to be got by it. When thou hast obtained this end it will not ease thee of one stitch of conscience, nor quench one spark of hell’s tormenting fire for thee.  But if this be it thou huntest after, it is a question whether thou believest there be such a place or no.  these few principles well girded by faith about the loins of thy mind—that there is a God, and he is a rewarder of those that dili­gently seek him; that heaven is prepared for the sin­cere, and hell gapes for the hypocrite—would be enough to set thy heart right in the duty.  Though the traveller minds not much his way where he appre­hends no danger, yet, when he comes to pass over a narrow bridge, where a wry step may hard his life by falling into a deep river that runs on each hand, he will surely watch his eye that is to guide his foot.  This is thy case.  Prayer is a solemn work as any thou canst go about in thy whole lifetime.  A by‑end in this may hazard thy soul as much as a wry look thy body in the other.  We need do no more to lose our souls than to seek ourselves.
2. Take heed thou blottest not thy holy duties with an unholy life.  If thou meanest to foul thy hands with sin’s black work in the day, why dost thou wash them in the morning with prayer?  It is to no purpose to begin with God and to keep the devil com­pany all the day after.  Religious orders in thy house and a disordered conversation ill agree.  O! do not render the worship of God base to the thoughts of thy servants and family.  Those that like the wine will yet nauseate it when brought in a cup that is nasty and unclean.  The duties of God’s worship command a reverence even from those that are carnal, but if per­formed by those that are loose and scandalous they grow fulsome.  Eli’s sons made the people loathe the Lord’s sacrifices.  By thy religious duties thou settest a fair copy.  O do not write it in sinking paper.  It is but a while thou art seen upon thy knees; and a little seeming zeal at thy devotion will not gild over a whole day's sinful miscarriage spent in passion, idleness, riot, or any other unholy course.  It is said Christ preached with power and ‘authority, not as the scribes,’ Matt. 7:29.  Not but that they had authority to preach, for they sat in Moses’ chair; but because they lost that reverence, by not walking suitably to their doctrine, which their place and work would have giv­en them in the consciences of their hearers.  ‘They said and did not,’ and thereby rendered their doctrine ineffectual.  If thou wouldst pray with authority and power, enforce thy duties with purity of life.
3. Preserve peace and unity in thy family.  A brawling family cannot be a praying family.  The apostle exhorteth husband and wife to love and unity, lest their prayers be ‘hindered,’ I Peter 3:7.  Conten­tions in a family, they both hinder the spirit of prayer, and also the answer to our prayers.

           (1.) They hinder the spirit of prayer.  The Spirit of God is a Spirit of peace and love, and therefore delights not to breathe in a troubled air.  The ready way to send him going is to brawl and chide.  ‘Grieve not the Holy Spirit of God,’ saith the apostle, Eph. 4:30.  And that we may not, hear what is his counsel: ‘Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice.’  When these are gone, then (and not before) look for his sweet company.  You may as well dwell comfortably together with your house on fire, as pray so together when you in the house are on fire.

           (2.) Contentions hinder the answer to our prayers.  If we pray in anger, God cannot be pleased. ‘The wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.’  A loud wind beats down the smoke.  Our prayers are compared to incense, but they will never ascend to heaven till this storm be laid.  Go to pray in this plight, and God will bid you come when you are better agreed.  The Spirit will not help in such prayers; and if the Spirit hath no hand in the inditing, Christ will have no hand in presenting the prayer.  And if Christ present it not, to be sure the Father will not receive it, for ‘through him we have an access by one Spirit unto the Father,’ Eph. 2:18.