John Newton Shared Some of His Grief After his Wife Passed Away!

From: Letter from John Newton's to His Wife
John wrote this after his wife passed away.

Through the whole of my painful trial, I attended all my stated and occasional services, as usual; and a stranger would scarcely have discovered, either by my words or looks, that I was in trouble. Many of our intimate friends were apprehensive, that this long affliction, and especially the closing event, would have overwhelmed me; but it was far otherwise. It did not prevent me from preaching a single sermon—and I preached on the day of her death.

After she was gone, my willingness to be helped, and my desire that the Lord's goodness to me might be observed by others for their encouragement, made me indifferent to some laws of established custom—the breach of which is often more noticed than the violation of God's commands. I was afraid of sitting at home, and indulging myself by poring over my loss; and therefore I was seen in the street, and visited some of my serious friends the very next day. 

I likewise preached three times while she lay dead in the house. Some of my brethren kindly offered their assistance; but, as the Lord was pleased to give me strength, both of body and mind, I thought it my duty to stand up in my place as formerly. And after she was deposited in the vault, I preached her funeral sermon, with little more sensible emotion than if it had been for another person. I have reason to hope that many of my hearers were comforted and animated under their afflictions, by what they saw of the Lord's goodness to me in my time of need. And I acknowledge that it was well worth standing a while in the fire, for such an opportunity of experiencing and exhibiting the power and faithfulness of his promises.

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I was not supported by lively sensible consolations—but by being enabled to realize to my mind some great and leading truths of the Word of God. I saw, what indeed I knew before—but never until then so strongly and so clearly perceived, that, as a sinner, I had no right; and, as a believer, I could have no reason to complain. I considered her as a loan, which He who lent her to me had a right to resume whenever He pleased; and that as I had deserved to forfeit her every day from the first, it became me rather to be thankful that she was spared to me so long, than to resign her with reluctance when called for. 

Farther, that his sovereignty was connected with infinite wisdom and goodness; and that consequently, if it were possible for me to alter any part of his plan, I could only spoil it—that such a short-sighted creature as I, so blind to the possible consequences of my own wishes, was not onlyun worthy—but unable, to choose well for myself; and that it was therefore my great mercy and privilege that the Lord condescended to choose for me. May such considerations powerfully affect the hearts of my readers under their troubles, and then I shall not regret having submitted to the view of the public, a detail which may seem more proper for the subject of a private letter to a friend. They who can feel for me, will, I hope, excuse me. And it is chiefly for their sakes that I have written it.

When my wife died, the world seemed to die with her—I hope to revive no more! I see little now—but my ministry and my Christian profession, to make a continuance in life, for a single day, desirable; though I am willing to wait my appointed time. If the world cannot restore her to me, (not that I have the remotest wish that her return was possible,) it can do nothing for me. The Bank of England is too poor to compensate for such a loss as mine. But the Lord, the all-sufficient God, speaks, and it is done. Let those who know him, and trust him, be of good courage. 

He can give them strength according to their day; he can increase their strength as their trials are increased, to any assignable degree. And what he can do, he has promised he will do. The power and faithfulness on which the successive changes of day and night, and of the seasons of the year, depend, and which uphold the stars in their orbits, is equally engaged to support his people, and to lead them safely and unhurt (if their path is so appointed) through floods and flames. Though I believe she has never yet been (and probably never will be) out of my waking thoughts for five minutes at a time; though I sleep in the bed in which she suffered and languished so long; I have not had one uncomfortable day, nor one restless night, since she left me. I have lost a right hand, which I cannot but miss continually; but the Lord enables me to go on cheerfully without it.

May his blessing rest upon the reader! May glory, honor, and praise, be ascribed to his great and holy name, now and forever! Amen.

"Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vine; even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren; even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty, yet I will rejoice in the LORD! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation. The Sovereign LORD is my strength! He will make me as surefooted as a deer and bring me safely over the mountains!" Habakkuk 3:17-19

Set Your House in Order!

James Smith, 1860 excerpt from: Fruit From the Tree of Life

Food and Medicine for the Soul

It is not of every event, that we can say that all are interested in it; and there may be events in which all are interested - but all are not equally interested. But there is one event in which all are interested, and all are equally interested in it, and that event is DEATH. All must die, and each one must die for himself; no substitution is admitted here. Each one must die alone - no friend is allowed to accompany him through that dark valley. A few words on this subject may be profitable.

Let us then, very briefly, consider the message sent to king Hezekiah, for a similar message will soon be sent to every one of us. "Thus says the Lord: Set your house in order - because you are going to die; you will not recover." Isaiah 38:2.

Death is a very solemn event. The most solemn event in a man's history. Death is certain, for it is appointed unto man once to die, and there is a time fixed when each of us must die. Vain is the surgeon's experience, vain the physician's skill, and vain the kindness of friends - we must die! But to us, the hour of death is very uncertain; there may be but a step between us and it. At any moment, for anything we can tell - we may die.

But the consequences of death are either dreadful - or delightful.

To the unconverted sinner, how dreadful! He comes at once into contact with the wrath of God - and of all dreadful things, the wrath of God is the most dreadful. It has been pent up all the days of his sojourn on earth - but it now bursts forth like a long smouldering fire, to feed upon and torment him forever!

After death is the judgment, the righteous judgment of God; then the sinner is to be tried, publicly condemned, and the degree and kind of his punishment fixed for eternity!

Then comes the infliction of that punishment - the casting him into the lake of fire, the everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels. O how terrible, how inconceivably terrible are the consequences of death to the soul that dies in sin!

But to the Christian, they are equally delightful. He dies, and ascends to Heaven, enjoying the approbation of his God. He goes to the judgment, not as a criminal to be punished - but as a just person to be publicly acquitted, and eternally rewarded. To him, after death, nothing remains but perfect holiness, and perfect happiness. He goes to see Jesus - that Jesus whom he has loved and served here below. He goes to be with Jesus - that Jesus who loved him, and laid down his life for him.

He goes to inherit the kingdom prepared for him from the foundation of the world. He enters into peace, rests from his labors, and is forever with the Lord! O how delightful, how inconceivably delightful are the consequences of death to the believer in Jesus!

Yet when the message comes suddenly, it is sometimes startling. "Set your house in order - because you are going to die; you will not recover!" Prepare for the most solemn event in life's history. Settle your affairs for time and eternity.

If your will is not made, make it. For no Christian should live a day without a will, if he has property to leave. Making the will not hasten death - but it may prevent much sin, and preserve peace among relatives. If therefore the disposal of your property is not settled, settle it.

Prepare to stand before God. Be ready to render your account, whenever called upon to do so. Get your sins pardoned, if they are not, while the fountain is open, and the promise stands good. Get your person justified; not only get acquitted from all charges - but get the righteousness of Jesus into your possession, that you may plead it, and wear it before God. Get your nature sanctified, by the washing of regeneration, and the renewing of the Holy Spirit.

Get into union with Christ, that so you may be entitled to the merit of all he did for sinners, and to all he has for those who believe on his name. Get clear evidences for Heaven, that so you may have no doubts or fears - but arise, and with confidence, accompany the messenger when he comes. In one word, get a well-grounded assurance of salvation, arising from a sense of freedom from condemnation, and a persuasion that you can never be separated from the love of God in Christ.

Settle your affairs at once, you will die safer, and happier.

Let us then think of the importance of death, consider how uncertain it is, whether we shall have time to prepare for it in future, and therefore get ready at once. God sends the message to us in mercy, he sends it beforehand, so giving us time, and thus takes away all excuse, if we are not found prepared. Death often comes suddenly. It comes to many when least expected. It finds multitudes unprepared; all their affairs, both temporal and spiritual, in confusion - and without pity, with a stroke cuts them down!

Lost sinner, you shall die. I do not know when - but it may be very soon. I do not know where - but it may be where no friend will be found to pray by you, or point you to the way of life. I do not know how - but it may be by an accident, a stroke, a spasm at the heart, or by some fever that renders you insensible, and forbids the possibility of preparation then. But though I know not when, where, or how you will die - I know that you must die, and therefore I present the solemn message to you, "Set your house in order - prepare to meet your God!"

Believer, you shall die. But the time when, the place where, and the means by which - are wisely, and in mercy concealed from you. Get ready, therefore. Live as for eternity. Become familiar with death, by dying daily. "Set your house in order," let everything be arranged and settled there. Set your heart in order, and see to it that all is right there. Keep your faith steadily fixed on Jesus, who conquered death for you, and is the resurrection and the life.

 Keep your hope fixed on the inheritance that is incorruptible, undefiled, and that fades not away, which is reserved in Heaven for you. Keep your love centered in God, as your Father and Friend in Jesus. Keep your affections set on things above, not on things on the earth. Let the eye, the heart, and the aim, be directed, not to the things which are seen, and which are temporal; but to the things which are not seen, which are eternal. So shall your life be spent in honorable service, so shall your days peaceably pass away, and so shall your death be happy, and the end shall crown the whole. You shall only sleep in Jesus.

Asleep in Jesus! blessed sleep!

From which none ever wakes to weep;

A calm and undisturbed repose,

Unbroken by the last of foes!

Asleep in Jesus! oh, how sweet

To be for such a slumber meet:

With holy confidence to sing

That death has lost its venomed sting!

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