From: Letter from John Newton's to His Wife
John wrote this after his wife passed away.
Through
the whole of my painful trial, I attended all my stated and occasional
services, as usual; and a stranger would scarcely have discovered, either by my
words or looks, that I was in trouble. Many of our intimate friends were
apprehensive, that this long affliction, and especially the closing event,
would have overwhelmed me; but it was far otherwise. It did not prevent me from
preaching a single sermon—and I preached on the day of her death.
After
she was gone, my willingness to be helped, and my desire that the Lord's
goodness to me might be observed by others for their encouragement, made me
indifferent to some laws of established custom—the breach of which is
often more noticed than the violation of God's commands. I was afraid of
sitting at home, and indulging myself by poring over my loss; and therefore I
was seen in the street, and visited some of my serious friends the very next
day.
I likewise preached three times while she lay dead in the house. Some
of my brethren kindly offered their assistance; but, as the Lord was pleased to
give me strength, both of body and mind, I thought it my duty to stand up in my
place as formerly. And after she was deposited in the vault, I preached
her funeral sermon, with little more sensible emotion than if it had been
for another person. I have reason to hope that many of my hearers were
comforted and animated under their afflictions, by what they saw of the Lord's
goodness to me in my time of need. And I acknowledge that it was well worth
standing a while in the fire, for such an opportunity of experiencing and
exhibiting the power and faithfulness of his promises.
 |
| 684 Pages on Kindle Only $1.99 |
Farther, that his sovereignty was connected with infinite wisdom and goodness;
and that consequently, if it were possible for me to alter any part of his
plan, I could only spoil it—that such a short-sighted creature as I, so blind
to the possible consequences of my own wishes, was not onlyun worthy—but unable,
to choose well for myself; and that it was therefore my great mercy and
privilege that the Lord condescended to choose for me. May such considerations
powerfully affect the hearts of my readers under their troubles, and then I
shall not regret having submitted to the view of the public, a detail which may
seem more proper for the subject of a private letter to a friend. They who can
feel for me, will, I hope, excuse me. And it is chiefly for their sakes that I
have written it.
When
my wife died, the world seemed to die with her—I hope to revive no more! I see
little now—but my ministry and my Christian profession, to make a continuance
in life, for a single day, desirable; though I am willing to wait my appointed
time. If the world cannot restore her to me, (not that I have the remotest wish
that her return was possible,) it can do nothing for me. The Bank of England is
too poor to compensate for such a loss as mine. But the Lord, the
all-sufficient God, speaks, and it is done. Let those who know him, and trust
him, be of good courage.
He can give them strength according to their
day; he can increase their strength as their trials are increased, to any
assignable degree. And what he can do, he has promised he will do.
The power and faithfulness on which the successive changes of day and night,
and of the seasons of the year, depend, and which uphold the stars in their
orbits, is equally engaged to support his people, and to lead them safely and
unhurt (if their path is so appointed) through floods and flames. Though I
believe she has never yet been (and probably never will be) out of my waking
thoughts for five minutes at a time; though I sleep in the bed in which she
suffered and languished so long; I have not had one uncomfortable day, nor one
restless night, since she left me. I have lost a right hand, which I cannot but
miss continually; but the Lord enables me to go on cheerfully without it.
May
his blessing rest upon the reader! May glory, honor, and praise, be ascribed to
his great and holy name, now and forever! Amen.
"Even
though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vine;
even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren; even
though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty, yet I will
rejoice in the LORD! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation. The Sovereign
LORD is my strength! He will make me as surefooted as a deer and bring me
safely over the mountains!" Habakkuk 3:17-19
