In 2005
when I first lost my job, I had a plan. I had accumulated proof that I was
being harassed by my bosses, abused verbally and mentally, especially when they
thought I had no witnesses and we were behind closed doors. I had accumulated
so much proof that when I lost my job, even though I could sense God had a plan
for me, I thought while God works on His plan for my life, I would take these people
to court and make them pay for everything I had suffered. I truly felt that I
had the right to do so.
Right after
I lost my job, I felt the need to be around people and the environment that I
was in, I was encouraged to get my lawsuit going. A few days later, God worked something
out in my heart to a point I could not ignore His still voice. I had to go
somewhere to be alone with Him, a place where the environment was not so conducive
to Satan’s influence. The minute I was alone, I could feel the quietness in my
heart, and I was in a different frame of mind. That same day, I received a phone
call from my brother who is a very successful homebuilder and has his own
company. He wanted me to come down to Montreal
That was a
weird phone call when you consider that my brother never called me for years and he always treated me as if I was beneath him, based on the stark contrast in our status. We were not and still not travelling the same circle. I
have to say that I was tempted and was considering the offer. Through the phone conversation, the Holy Spirit said, “this opportunity is not godly and it is
Satan talking through your brother.” All of the sudden He made me hear another
voice behind my brother’s voice on the phone line. I still cringe when I think about it. I could
identify the other voice, I still remember vividly all I wanted to do was to
get rid of my brother on the phone and I told him I will call him back. I never
did. I give you this background so you
can see how Satan can use other people to tempt us and derail God’s work. But,
when we have the inclination to follow, we have nothing to fear because He is
bigger than Satan and has already defeated him.
Right after
that, God spoke to my heart and discouraged me from suing the bank. I still
remember vividly when the Holy Spirit said to me “the time that you will spend
suing is a time where you could be with me learning and growing spiritually.” While
the Spirit was telling me that, He gave me a vision where I would could see how I was going to be swimming
through paper works in court, with no time for Him. Most of all, I would be in
a perpetual mind frame where I was going to be consumed with the injustice that
was done to me. Strangely, in the vision I could see how my demeanor and all my
mind were absorbed by self-pity, totally devoted to the case at hand.
It was a
little bit painful for me to say yes to God because this meant that I did not
know what the next step was and God was going to have to decide the agenda. Somehow, I knew my saying yes to God meant that I was taking on His agenda for my life, it's that simple. So, I agreed with God anyway. I will spare you the details as to how happy He was
that I chose to follow in this way. However, I want to point out that my
attitude was of one, living a disjointed life. A life so compartmentalized that
I felt the need to live out my plans for my life in conjunction with God’s plans. But, in my defense, I did not know better, I was never taught there was something better either. To me, living a compartmentalized Christianity was all natural. I was surprised today when I read Oswald
Chambers devotion for June 27. I could see, God had the same concerns about
me then.
Oswald
said: “If we are devoted to Jesus Christ, we have nothing to do with what we
encounter, whether it is just or unjust.” One of the blessings that God
bestowed on me when I chose His plan for my life instead of going on with the
lawsuit, was to show me in a vision how the injustice that happened to me all
these years had nothing to do with me. In the vision it was as if I was totally
removed from all this and the injustice was actually done to Christ in me, but
not me. At the same time, it was all part of God’s design to get me to where He
wants me so that He could use me as a holy vessel.
What was
strange in the vision was the fact that I felt I was just a bystander in all
that happened to me as a human being. The focus was removed from me being this
human being who deserves to be treated better and deserves to be compensated,
to Christ wanting to use this vessel that I am and permitted all these things
to happen for His own purpose and glory. I wish I could find words to convey what I
lived out in that vision to make it simpler. But, the reality is that when the
bad things in life are happening to us, we have to learn to remove ourselves
from the equation. Even though it is a very hard thing to do through the pain,
the insults, the hardships, the humiliation, the indignation, the self-pity we are tempted to indulge ourselves in just for a little while, the distress and the heartache
of all of it. We have to learn to see God’s plan at work and learn to wait for
Him to divulge more while we keep walking steadily before Him.
It is
almost like Job’s story. None of what happened to Job had anything to do with
Job. He was just a by product of something between God and Satan. God used Job
to make a point to Satan and proved to Satan that He has people who actually
love Him faithfully out there. He also used the situation to glorify Himself. At the same time, God had a plan in mind for Job, He wanted to teach Job more of Him.
When we put
God’s purpose and plan for our lives first, there is always something in it for
us. By, the way, this is how God wants us to claim His promises in the Bible. Even though
God intends to reward us when we see Him in heaven, for living in His purpose and plans, but, He always
rewards us as a token of affection for now. Like a deposit for what’s to come. In
the case of Job, we see how everything wrapped up neatly for Job in one
sentence. All the 41 chapters of the book is culminated neatly with Job 42:6
when Job said to God, “My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen
you. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes.”
Job came
out of it all and felt he was the richest man on earth even before God restored
his wealth and life. The treasure he found was when he could say, I have heard
of you before with my ears (no doubt it was the ears in his heart) but NOW I
SEE. His spiritual eyes were opened; he met with God face to face so to speak. His
relationship with God went from him being a righteous and faithful servant of Him, to a personal and intimate friend of the God of the universe.
