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21 February, 2014


I heard someone say one day that unforgiveness is like taking a poison and hoping the other person would die.  It is so true. Unforgiveness eat us alive inside. One of the reasons I learned to forgive no matter how hard someone hurt me, and believe me, I have been hurt so deep, if God was not on my side, there is no way I would have ever recuperate. I like paying close attention to myself to see how I react when I say or do something outside the Holy Spirit vs when I am in the Spirit. There is a world of a difference between the two and I hate the person I am when I am not in the Spirit. So, when you pay close attention to yourself, you will find what is keeping you from forgiving someone else is because your ego cannot let go even after years. You keep reliving the hurt as if it happened yesterday. Every time you relieve the pain, your pride is dying within you and it mingles itself with everything that you are to bring about a need for revenge. I have to share with you, until God took me in the wilderness, I dealt with people who hurt and humiliated me so much, people who took my job away from me and so on, I honestly wanted God to send a ball of fire and burn them right away.  

I remember there was a time I used to imagine how I would hurt them back, and I was scared of what I could concoct within me. I was scared of myself. As I looked at what my mind and heart could concoct to get revenge I can understand easily why we had people like Hitler and why we still have so many people out there who seemed to have been born to hurt others, with pleasure. Through God’s grace, I learned not to entertain these kinds of thoughts and take control of my anger as I put it all at His feet. This is easier said than done. Most of the time, there is nothing within me that wants forgiveness for these people. But, I learned to bring it to Him, in spite of the consequences of the hurt that was inflicted and in spite of the lack of vengeance. It is so painful to know someone who hurt you seemed to have gotten away with it and living it out.

We can find healing and we can find peace of mind if we truly believe. Forgiveness is an opportunity for us to prove that we truly believe the God that we serve. It is an opportunity to fear Him and glory in His sovereignty and majesty. As I learned to see that forgiveness is directly proportion to my faith in Him, I have also learned not to tolerate it in my heart for even one minute. In fact, when someone hurt me, it is imperative for me to take it right away to God, not only in word but in my actions as well. I always pray for God to heal my heart, but most of all, teach me how to pray for this person’s welfare. I do not care anymore about ever being avenged. If the person is not a believer, I pray for this person’s salvation. This is a spiritual skill we can acquire when only we understand our role in it. As time goes by, I am watching myself changing so much that when people hurt me, it hardly lasts a moment in my heart. My goal at any cost is to reach the point where I can honour God and pray for them like Stephen when he was being stoned, or to be like Christ when He was on the Cross. The healing starts, when we remember who we serve.

With that in mind, I am leaving you with this post from Ransomed Heart

We must forgive those who hurt us. The reason is simple: Bitterness and unforgiveness are claws that set their hooks deep in our hearts; they are chains that keep us held captive to the wounds and the messages of those wounds. Until you forgive, you remain their prisoner. Paul warns us that unforgiveness and bitterness can wreck our lives and the lives of others (Eph. 4:31; Heb. 12:15). We have to let them go.

Forgive as Christ has forgiven you. (Col 3:13)

Now - listen carefully. Forgiveness is a choice. It is not a feeling - don't try and feel forgiving. It is an act of the will. "Don't wait to forgive until you feel like forgiving," wrote Neil Anderson. "You will never get there. Feelings take time to heal after the choice to forgive is made . . ." We allow God to bring the hurt up from our past, for "if your forgiveness doesn't visit the emotional core of your life, it will be incomplete." We acknowledge that it hurt, that it mattered, and we choose to extend forgiveness to our father, our mother, those who hurt us. This is not saying, "It didn't really matter"; it is not saying, "I probably deserved part of it anyway." Forgiveness says, "It was wrong. Very wrong. It mattered, hurt me deeply. And I release you. I give you to God."

It might help to remember that those who hurt you were also deeply wounded themselves. They were broken hearts, broken when they were young, and they fell captive to the Enemy. They were in fact pawns in his hands. This doesn't absolve them of the choices they made, the things they did. It just helps us to let them go - to realize that they were shattered souls themselves, used by our true Enemy in his war against femininity.