An excerpt from my new book: How To Pray Through Depression & Loneliness
Pause to ponder on the word of God
Isaiah 54:5-8
“ For your Maker is your husband
the Lord Almighty is his name-the
Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth. The
Lord will call you back as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in
spirit-a wife who married young, only to be rejected,” says your God. For a
brief moment I abandoned you, but with deep compassion I will bring you back.
In a surge of anger I hid my face from you for a moment, but with everlasting
kindness I will have compassion on you,” says the Lord your Redeemer.
1 Timothy 5:5
“She who is truly a widow, left all alone, has set her hope on God and
continues in supplications and prayers night and day,”
1 Thessalonians
4:4 “That each one of you knows how to control his own body in holiness and
honor,”
1 Thessalonians
4:3 “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from
sexual immorality;”
1 Corinthians
6:18-20 “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside
the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you
not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you
have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So
glorify God in your body.”
Stop and
read
Being a single
parent brings loneliness to the soul in more ways than one. Often times, the
Church, where you are supposed to be accepted, and love become your biggest
obstacles. It feels as though you are in a hospital where they do not accept
patients in any shape or form. It could be so discouraging to continue your
walk with God along with trying very hard not to be discouraged. To make
matters worse, you still have to deal with the loneliness of the reality that
has become your life and you have to face those long periods of times where you
are alone in the house. You have lots of questions about what the future holds
for you and whether or not you will ever find someone to journey with.
In order to cope
with life you need to first let go of the finger pointing, the judgement,
gossip and lack of acceptance you find in your Church. If you try to be better
acquainted with what your future is going to look like, you are in for a major
depression, anxieties and, before you know it, sadness will be your companion.
Since being a single parent is already hard, this is the last thing you need.
Learn to take things one day at the time. Join groups where you can interact
with other people in similar situations. Don’t focus on your loneliness, but
focus on God’s plan for your life while you put your energy into living for Him
and your children.
As you learn to
focus on your God and your children, it will help you to let go of guilt and
shame that you might be experiencing. Find all your strength in Him because, as
you do, you will realize even though you are alone, you are not lonely. If you
have a good Church where you are accepted, please enjoy the fellowship with
your brothers and sisters. But, if you are not accepted, know that, for sure,
God might have bigger and better things waiting for you in heaven than those
who are judging you. So, do not let anyone use your situation against you to
affect your walk with Him. Remember that He came not for those who are well,
but for those who need Him-and that includes you.
Father God it is
so hard to be a single parent in the Church and in the world today. I am
plagued by all kinds of fear. I am lonely, tempted, misunderstood, irritated,
and impatient and the list goes on. You know me better than I know myself, then
I know there is no need to hide the resentment, bitterness and hurt that I am
experiencing in my heart. I can’t seem to shake the self pity of this hopeless
situation of my life right now. I am also angry because so much is expected of me
I do not even have time for myself. I confess that sometimes I don’t have the
will to live.
Father I pray for
a special dose of grace to help me through. I pray that you would become all
that I need through this lonely journey. I pray you would heal my heart and
guard me from succumbing to temptations. Father, I am not sure how I am going
to survive without a partner, I am torn between honouring you and my sexual desires that are
constantly with me. You do not want sin to reign in my body because I am your
temple. Father, I truly believe you created those sexual desires as a gift to
us, but right now, I do not quite know how to handle mine without sinning
against you. No amount of counselling, self-control and willingness not to sin
can help me with this one father. I don’t know how to abstain from sexual
gratification if you do not help me God. I failed you today (or yesterday, or
this week) I know that I have done wrong and sinned against you. I pray for
your forgiveness and the restoration of my fellowship with you. Father until I
can find someone to marry, I pray you would give me the gift of self-control
like Paul, so that I can dedicate my body to you alone.
Father, I have to
raise my children without the support of a spouse. I pray that you would give
me the strength, ability and grace required to raise them in the knowledge of
you and they would grow up being people after your heart. I pray for your
protection upon them. I pray you would fill them up with the spirit and put
your arms around them when they are in need of their mother or father.
Father, help me
arrange my schedule to find time to be with you. You are my spouse, my
provider, the lover of my soul and you are my dad. I don’t want to miss out on
you. Sustain me, stay by my side heal my heart. Lord, I can’t afford to be
fragmented, please make me whole and help me remain in your will for my life.
Help me live an obedient life full of love for you. Help me be totally
committed to you, for your glory.
Free Kindle on August 2, 3, & 4, 2013