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4. The power of holiness appears as to our rela­tions, when the Christian is careful to improve the graces of his relations, and get what good from them he can while they are with him.  May be thou hast a holy father, a gracious husband or wife—let it be but a servant in a family that is godly—there is good to be got by his gracious conversa­tion, speeches, and holi­ness, which, like ointment, will betray itself wherever it stays awhile.  O Christian! if any such holy person be with thee in the family, observe what such a one in his speeches, duties of worship, behaviour under af­fliction, receipt of mercies, returns of Sabbaths, and ordinances, and such like, affords for thy instruction, quickening, and promoting in the ways of holiness. The prophet bade the widow bring all the vessels she had, or could borrow, to catch what should fall from the pot of oil that she had in the house, and therewith pay her debts, II Kings 4:3.  Truly, I think it were good counsel to some that complain—or may justly, if they do not—how poor and beggarly they are in grace, to make an improvement of that holy oil of grace which drops from the lips and lives of their godly relations. Set you memories, consciences, hearts, and affec­tions, as vessels to receive all the expressions of holi­ness that come from them.  Thy memory—let that keep and retain the instructions, reproofs, comforts drawn by them out of the word; thy conscience—let that apply these to thy soul, till from thence they distil into thy affections, and thou becomest in love more and more with holiness thy own self, from their recommendation of it to thee.  It is a sad thing to consider what a different use a naughty heart makes of the gifts and graces of the godly with whom they live, as they sparkle forth, to what a humble sincere one doth.  A naughty heart does but envy and malign such a one the more, and, instead of getting good, is made worse; whereas the sincere soul, he labours to treasure up all for his good.

When Joseph told his prophetic dream to his brethren, their envy, which before lay smoldering in their breasts, took fire presently, and a while after flamed forth into that unnatural cruelty practised upon him by them.  There was all the use they made of it.  But of good Jacob, it is said, by way of opposition to them, Gen. 37:11, ‘His brethren envied him; but his father observed the saying’—he laid it up for future use, as that which had something of God in it.  Thus, Christian, do thou by the holy breathings of the Spirit in those thou livest with.  Note the remark­able passages of their gracious conversations, as thou wouldst do the notions of some excellent book, which is not thine own, but lent thee for a time to peruse. Indeed, upon these terms, and no surer, do we enjoy our gracious friends and relations.  They are but lent us for a while; and, improve them, or not improve them, they will be called for ere long.  And will it be for thy comfort to part with them, before thou hast had a heart to get good by them?  It was a solemn speech of that reverend, holy man of God, Mr. Bol­ton, to his children, when on his death-bed, ‘I charge you, O my children, not to meet me at the great day before Christ’s tribunal in a Christless graceless con­dition.’  God keeps an exact account of the means he affords us for our salvation; and the lives of his holy servants are not of the lowest rank.  You shall observe that God is very particular in Scripture to record the time, how long his faithful servants lived on earth; and sure, among other reasons, he would have us know that he means to reckon with those that lived with them, for every year, yea, day and hour, they had them among them.  They shall know they had a prophet, a father, a husband, that were godly, and that they had them so long, and God will know of them what use they made of them.

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2. The power of holiness is to appear in labour­ing to interest God in our relations.The Christian cannot indeed propagate grace to his child, nor join­ture his wife in his holiness, as he may in his lands, yet he must do his utmost to entitle God to them. Why did God command Abraham that all his house should be circumcised? surely he would have him go as far as he could, to draw them into affinity with and relation to God.  Near relations call for dear affec­tions.  Grace doth not teach us to love them less than we did, but to love them better.  It turns our love into a spiritual channel, and makes chiefly desire their eternal good.  What singular thing else is in the Christian’s love above others?  Do not the heathens lay up estates for their children here? are not they careful for their servants' backs and bellies as well as others?  Yes, sure, but your care must exceed theirs. I remember Augustine, speaking how highly some commended his father’s cost and care to educate him, even above his estate, makes this sad com­plaint: ‘whereas,’ saith he, ‘my father's drift in all was not to train me up for thee.  His project was that I might be eloquent, an orator, not a Christian.’  O my brethren! if God be worth your acquaintance, is he not worth theirs also that are so near and dear to you?  One house now holds you; would you not have one heaven receive you?  Can you think, without trembling, that those who live together in one family, should, when the house is broken up by death, go, one to hell, another to heaven?  Surely you are like to have little joy from them on earth, who you fear shall not meet you in heaven.  By the law of Lycurgus, the father that gave no learning to his child when young, was to lose that succour that was due from his child to him in his old age.  The righteousness of that law though I dare not assert, yet this I may say—what he unjustly commanded, God doth most righteously suffer—that those who do not teach their children their duty to God, lose the honour and reverence which should be paid them by their children; and so of other relations also

3. The power of holiness is to appear in your taking heed that thy relations be not a snare to thee, or thou to them.  There are such sad families to be found, who do nothing else but lead one another into temptation, by drawing forth each other’s corruption, from one end of the year to the other.  What can we call such families, but so many hells above ground?  A man may live with as much safety to his body in a pest-house, as he can there to his soul.  And truly the godly are not so far out of danger, but that the devil may make use of their passions to roil and defile one another.  I am sure he is very ambitious to do them a mischief this way, and too often prevails.  Abraham’s fear laid the snare for Sarah his wife, who was easily persuaded to dissemble for him she loved so dearly, Gen 12:13.  And Rebekah’s vehement affection to Ja­cob, together with the reverence, both her place and grace in Jacob’s heart, made him, of a plain man, be­come the subtle man, to deceive his father and broth­er; which, though it was too broad a sin for him at first proposal to swallow, as appears, ‘I shall seem to him as a deceiver; and I shall bring a curse upon me, and not a blessing,’ Gen. 27:12; yet with a little art-using by his mother, we see the passage was widened, and down it went, for all his straining at it; and yet both were godly persons.  Look therefore to thyself, that thou dost not bring sin upon thy relations.  It would be a heavy affliction to thee to see thy wife, child, or servant sick of the plague, which thou broughtest home to them, or bleeding by a wound which thou unawares gavest them.  Alas! better thus than that they should be infected with sin, wounded with guilt, by thy means.  And be as careful to anti­dote thy soul against receiving infection from them, as to take heed of breathing it on them.  Thy love is great to thy wife.  O let it not make the apple of temptation the more fair or desirable, when offered to thee by her hand!  Thou lovest thyself, yea thy God too little, if her so much as to sin for her sake.  Thou art a dutiful wife, but obey ‘in the Lord;’ take heed of turning the tables of the commandments, by setting the seventh before the first.  Be sure to save God’s stake, before thou payest thy obedience to thy husband.  Say to thy soul, ‘Can I keep God’s com­mand in obeying my husband’s?’  In paying of debts those should be first discharged which are due by the most, and those the greatest obligations.  And to whom thou art deepliest bound—God or thy husband —is easy to resolve.  Thus too in all other relations. Go as far with thy relations as thou canst travel in God’s company, and no farther, as thou wouldst not leave thy holiness and righteousness behind thee; the loss of which is too great, that thou shouldst expect they can recompense unto thee.

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    (2.) Art thou a godly master?  When thou takest a servant into thy house, choose for God as well as thyself.  Remember there is a work for God to be done by thy servant, as well as thyself; and shall he be fit for thy turn, that is not for his?  Thou desirest that the work should prosper thy servant takes in hand. Dost thou not? and what ground hath thou from the promise to hope, that the work should prosper in his hand that sins all the while he is doing of it?  ‘The plowing of the wicked, is sin,’ Prov. 21:4.  A godly serv­ant is a greater blessing than we think on.  He can work and set God on work also for his master’s good; ‘O Lord God of my master Abraham, I pray thee, send me good speed this day, and shew kindness unto my master Abraham,’ Gen. 24:12.  And sure Abraham’s servant did his master as much service by his prayer, as by his prudence in that journey.  If you were but to plant an orchard, you would get the best fruit trees, and not cumber your ground with crabs.  There is more loss in a graceless servant in the house, than a fruitless tree in the orchard.  Holy David observed, while he was at Saul's court, the mischief of having wicked and ungodly servants; for with such was that unhappy king so compassed, that David compares his court to the profane and barbarous heathens, among whom there was scare more wickedness to be found. ‘Woe is me, that I sojourn in Mesech, that I dwell in the tents of Kedar!’ Ps. 120:5, that is, among those who were as prodigiously wicked as any there.  And, no doubt, but that fact made this gracious man, in his banishment before he came to the crown—having seen the evil of a disordered house—to resolve what he will do, when God should make him the head of such a royal family.  ‘He that worketh deceit shall not dwell within my house: he that telleth lies shall not tarry in my sight,’ Ps. 101:7.  He instanceth those sins not as if he would spend all his zeal against them, but because he had observed them principally to abound in Saul’s court, by which he had suffered so much; as you may perceive by Ps. 120:2, 3.

           (3.) Art thou godly? show thyself so in the choice of husband or wife.  I am sure, if some, and those godly also, could bring no other testimonial for their godliness, than the care they have taken in this partic­ular, it might justly be called into question both by themselves and others.  There is no one thing that gracious persons, even those recorded in Scripture as well as others, have shown their weakness, yea, given offence and scandal, more in, than in this particular. ‘The sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair,’ Gen. 6:2.  One would have thought the sons of God should have looked for grace in the heart ra­ther than for beauty in the face; but we see that even they sometimes turn in at the fairest sign, without much inquiring what grace is to be found dwelling within.  But, Christian, let not the miscarriage of any in this particular—how holy soever otherwise—make thee less careful in thy choice.  God did not leave their practice on record for thee to follow, but to shun.  He is but a slovenly Christian that will swallow all the saints do without paring their actions.  Is it not enough that the wicked break their necks over the sins of the saints; but wilt thou run upon them also to break thy shins?  Point not at this godly man, and that godly woman, saying, they can marry into such a profane family, and lie by the side of a drunkard, swearer, &c.; but look to the rule, O Christian! if thou wilt keep the power of holiness.  That is clear as a sunbeam written in the Scripture, ‘Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness?’ II Cor. 6:14.  And where he give the widow leave to marry again, he still remembers to bound this liberty —‘to whom she will, only, in the Lord,’ I Cor. 7:39. Mark that, ‘in the Lord,’ that is, in the church.  All without the faith are ‘without God in the world.’  The Lord's kindred and family is in the church.  You mar­ry out of the Lord, when you marry out of the Lord’s kindred.  Or again, ‘in the Lord’ may be taken as in the fear of the Lord, with his leave and liking.  That the parents’ consent is fit to be had, we all yield; and is not thy heavenly Father’s?  And will he ever give his consent that thou shouldst bestow thyself on a beast, a sot, an earthworm?  Holy men have paid dear for such matches.  What a woful plague was Delilah to Samson? and Michal was none of the greatest com­forts to David.  Had he not better have married the poorest damsel in Israel, if godly—though no more with her than the clothes on her back—than such a fleering companion, that mocked him for his zeal to God?

         

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Fourth Instance.  The Christian must express the power of holiness in his carriage and behaviour to others, and they are either within doors, or with­out.

To those within doors—family relations.

           First.  The Christian must express the power of holiness in his carriage to those within doors—his family relations.  Much, though not all, of the power of godliness lies within doors, to those that God hath there related us unto.  It is in vain to talk of holiness, if we can bring no letters testimonial from our holy walking with our relations.  O it is sad, when they that have reason to know us best, by their daily converse with us, do speak least for our godliness.  Few so im­pudent as to come naked into the streets.  If men have anything to cover their naughtiness, they will put it on when they come abroad.  But what art thou within doors? what care and conscience to discharge thy duty to thy near relations?  He is a bad husband that hath money to spend among company abroad, but none to lay in provisions to keep his family at home.  And can he be a good Christian that spends all his religion abroad, and leaves none for his nearest relations at home, that is a great zealot among strang­ers, and yet hath little or nothing of God coming from him in his family?  Yea, it were well, if some that gain the reputation for Christians abroad, did not fall short of others that pretend not to profession in those moral duties which they should perform to their relations.  There are some who are great strangers to profession, who yet are loving and kind in their way to their wives.  What kind of professors then are they, who are doggish and currish to the wife of their bosoms? who by their tyrannical lording it over them, embitter their spirits, and make them ‘cover the Lord’s altar with tears and weeping?’  There are wives to be found that are not clamorous, peevish, and fro­ward to their husbands, who yet are far from a true work of grace in their hearts.  Do they then walk as becomes holiness, who trouble the whole house with their violent passions?  There are servants who, from the authority of a natural conscience, are kept from railing and reviling language, when reproved by their masters; and shall not grace keep pace with nature? Holy David knew very well how near this part of the saints’ duty lies to the very heart of godliness; and therefore, when he makes his solemn vow to walk hol­ily before God, he instanceth in this, as one stage whereon he might eminently discover the gracious­ness of his spirit.  ‘I will walk within my house with a perfect heart,’ Ps. 101:2.  But, to instance in a few par­ticulars wherein the power of holiness is to appear as to family relations.

1. The power of holiness is to appear in the choice of our relations,such, I mean, as are eligible.  Some are not in our choice.  The child cannot choose what father he will have, nor the father what child; but where God allows a liberty, he expects a care.

           (1.) Art thou godly and wantest a service?  O take heed thou showest thy holiness in the family thou choosest, and towards the governors thou put­test thyself under.  Inquire more whether it be a healthful air for thy soul within doors, than for thy body without.  The very senseless creatures groan to serve the ungodly world, and is capable of choosing, would count it their ‘liberty’ to serve the ‘children of God,’ Rom. 8:21.  And wilt thou voluntarily, when thou mayest prevent it, run thyself under the government of such as are ungodly, who art thyself a child of God? It is hard to serve two masters, though much alike in disposition; but impossible to serve those two—a holy God, and a wicked ungodly man or woman—so as long to please them both.  But, if thou beest under the roof of such a one, forget not thy duty to them, though they forget their duty to God; possibly thy faithfulness to them may bring them to inquire after thy God, for thy sake, as Nebuchadnezzar did for Daniel’s.  No doubt wicked men would take up re­ligion and the ways of God more seriously into their consideration, if there were a more heavenly luster and beauty upon Christians’ lives in their several rela­tions to invite them thereunto.  Sometimes a book is read the sooner for the fairness of the characters, which would have been not much looked in if the print had been naught.  O how oft do we hear that the thoughts of religion are thrown away with scorn, by wicked masters, when their professing servants are taken false, appear proud and undutiful, slothful or negligent!  What then follows, but ‘is this your reli­gion?  God keep me from such a religion as this.’  O commend the ways of God to thy carnal and ungodly master or mistress by a clear unblotted conversation in thy place!  But withal let me tell thee, if—doing thy utmost in thy place to promote religion in the family —thou seest that the soil is so cold that there is no visible hope of planting for God, it is time, high time, to think of transplanting thyself; for it is to be feared, the place which is so bad to plant in, will not, cannot, be very good for thee to grow and thrive in.