To explain myself,. There is such a one coming to Jesus Christ who, when at first he began to look out for him, was sensible, affectionate, and broken in spirit; but now is grown dark, senseless, hard-hearted, and inclined to neglect spiritual duties, &c. Besides, he now finds in himself inclinations to unbelief, atheism, blasphemy, and the like; now he finds he cannot tremble at God's Word, his judgment, nor at the apprehension of hell fire; nor can he, as he thinketh, be sorry for these things. Now, this is a sad dispensation. The man under the sixth head complains for want of temptations, but thou hast enough of them; art thou glad of them, tempted, coming, sinner? They that never exercised with them may think it a fine thing to be within the range, but he who is there is ready to sweat blood for sorrow of heart and to howl for vexation of spirit! This man is in the wilderness among wild beasts. Here he sees a bear, there a lion, yonder a leopard, a wolf, a dragon; devils of all sorts, doubts of all sorts, fears of all sorts, haunt and molest his soul. Here he sees smoke, yea, feels fire and brimstone, scattered upon his secret places. He hears the sound of a horrible tempest. O! My friends, even the Lord Jesus, that knew all things, even he saw no pleasure in temptations, nor did he desire to be with them; wherefore, one text saith, "he was led," and another, "he was driven," of the Spirit into the wilderness, to be tempted of the devil (Matt 4:1; Mark 1:12).
But to return. Thus it happened sometimes to them that are coming to Jesus Christ. A sad hap indeed! One would think that he that is flying from wrath to come has little need of such clogs as these. And yet so it is, and woeful experience proves it. The church of old complained that her enemies overtook her between the straits; just between hope and fear, heaven and hell (Lam 1).
This man feels the infirmity of his flesh, he finds a proneness in himself to be desperate. Now, he chides with God, flings, and tumbles like a wild bull in a net, and still the guilt of all returns upon himself, to the crushing of him to pieces. Yet he feels his heart so hard, that he can find, as he thinks, no kind falling under any of his miscarriages. Now, he is a lump of confusion in his own eyes, whose spirit and actions are without order.
Temptations serve the Christian as the shepherd's dog served the silly sheep; that is, coming behind the flock, he runs upon it, pulls it down, worries it, wounds it, and grievously bedabble it with dirt and wet, in the lowest places of the furrows of the field, and not leaving it until it is half dead, nor then neither, except God rebuke.
Here is now room for fears of being cast away. Now I see I am lost, says the sinner. This is not coming to Jesus Christ, says the sinner; such a desperate, hard, and wretched heart as mine is, cannot be a gracious one, saith the sinner. And bid such a one be better, he says, I cannot; no, I cannot.
[Why temptations assail God's people.]
Quest. But what will you say to a soul in this condition?
Answ. I will say, That temptations have attended the best of
God's people. I will say, That temptations come to do us good; and
I will say also, That there is a difference betwixt growing worse
and worse, and thy seeing more clearly how bad thou art.
There is a man of an ill-favored countenance, who hath too high a conceit of his beauty; and, wanting the benefit of a glass, he still stands in his own conceit; at last, a limner is sent unto him, who draweth his ill-favored face to the life; now looking thereon, he begins to be convinced that he is not half so handsome as he thought he was. Coming sinner, thy temptations are these painters; they have drawn out thy ill-favored heart to the life, and have set it before thine eyes, and now thou sees how ill-favored thou art. Hezekiah was a good man, yet when he lay sick, for aught I know, he had somewhat too good an opinion of his heart; and for aught I know also, the Lord might, upon his recovery, leave him to temptation, that he might better know all that was in his heart. Compare Isaiah 38:1-3, with 2 Chronicles 32:31.
Alas! We are sinful out of measure, but see it not to be full, until an hour of temptation comes. But when it comes, it doth as the painter doth, draweth out our heart to the life: yet the sight of what we are should not keep us from coming to Jesus Christ. There are two ways by which God lets a man into sight of the naughtiness of his heart; one is, by the light of the Word and Spirit of God; and the other is, by the temptations of the devil. But, by the first, we see our naughtiness one way; and, by the second, another. By the light of the Word and Spirit of God, thou hast a sight of thy naughtiness; and by the light of the sun, thou hast a sight of the spots and defilements that are in thy house or raiment. Which light gives thee to see a necessity of cleansing, but maketh not the blemishes to spread more abominably. But when Satan comes, when he tempts, he puts life and rage into our sins, and turns them, as it were, into so many devils within us. Now, like prisoners, they attempt to break through the prison of our body; they will attempt to get out at our eyes, mouth, and ears, anyways, to the scandal of the gospel, and reproach of religion, to the darkening of our evidences, and damning of our souls.
