Should you ask him what we mentioned? But how long has it been since you began to fear you should miss this damsel you love so much? The answer will be, Ever since I began to love her. But did you not fear it before? No, nor should I fear it now, but I vehemently love her. Come, sinner, let us apply it: How long has it been since you began to fear that Jesus Christ will not receive thee? The answer is, Ever since I began to desire that he would save my soul. I began to fear when I began to come; and the more my heart burns in desires after him, the more I feel my heart fear that I shall not be saved by him. See now, did not I tell thee that thy fears were but the consequence of strong desires? Well, fear not, coming sinner, thousands of coming souls are in thy condition, and yet they will get safe into Christ’s bosom: “Say,” says Christ, “to them that are of a fearful heart, Be strong, fear not; your God will come and save you” (Isa 35:4; 63:1).
Third, your fear that Christ will not receive you may arise from a sense of your own unworthiness. Thou sees what a poor, sorry, wretched, worthless creature thou art; and seeing this, thou fears rise will not receive thee. Alas, sayest thou, I am the vilest of all men—a town-inner, a ringleading sinner! I am not only a sinner myself, but I have made others twofold worse, the children of hell also. Besides, now that I am under some awakenings and stirrings of mind after salvation, even now I find my heart rebellious, carnal, hard, treacherous, desperate, prone to unbelief, to despair: it forgets the Word; it wanders; it runs to the ends of the earth. There is not, I am persuaded, one in all the world that hath such a desperate wicked heart as mine is; my soul is careless to do good, but none more earnest to do that which is evil.
Can such a one as I am, live in glory? Can a holy, just, and righteous God, once think (with honor to his name) of saving such a vile creature as I am? I fear it. Will he show wonders to such a dead dog as I am? I doubt it. I am cast out to the loathing of my person, yes, I loath myself; I stink in my own nostrils. How can I then be accepted by a holy and sin-abhorring God? (Psa 38:5-7; Eze 11; 20:42–44). I would be, and who is there that would not, were they in my condition? Indeed, I wonder at the madness and folly of others, when I see them leap and skip so carelessly about the mouth of hell! Bold sinner, how dares thou tempt God, by laughing at the breach of his holy law? But alas! They are not so bad one way, but I am worse another: I wish myself were anybody but myself; and yet here again, I know not what to wish. When I see such as I believe are coming to Jesus Christ, O I bless them! But I am confounded in myself, to see how unlike, as I think, I am to every good man in the world. They can read, hear, pray, remember, repent, be humble, and do everything better than so vile a wretch as I. I, vile wretch, am good for nothing but to burn in hellfire, and when I think of that, I am confounded too!
Thus the sense of unworthiness creates and heightens fears in the hearts of those coming to Jesus Christ, but indeed it should not; for who needs the physician but the sick? Or who did Christ come into the world to save, but the chief of sinners? (Mark 2:17; 1 Tim 1:15). Therefore, the more thou sees thy sins, the faster fly thou to Jesus Christ. And let the sense of thine own unworthiness prevail with thee yet to go faster. As it is with the man who carries his broken arm in a sling to the bone-setter, still as he thinks of his broken arm, and as he feels the pain and anguish, he hastens his pace to the man. And if Satan meets thee, and asks, Whither goes thou? tell him thou art maimed, and art going to the Lord Jesus. If he objects thine own unworthiness, tell him, That even as the sick seek the physician; as he that hath broken bones seeks him that can set them; so thou art going to Jesus Christ for cure and healing for thy sin-sick soul. But it often happens to him that he flies for his life, despairs of escaping, and therefore delivers himself up into the hand of the pursuer. But up, up, sinner; be of good cheer, Christ came to save the unworthy ones: be not faithless, but believe. Come away, man, the Lord Jesus calls you, saying, “And him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out.”
