Nay, do not only observe thy thoughts in duty, but call them to review after duty. Many go from prayer too much like boys from school, that think no more of their lesson till they return again—leave praying, and all thoughts how they behaved themselves in prayer, together. For shame do not thus. If thou neglectest to take account of thyself, consider that thou must give an account both of it and this thy neglect after it before thy betters. God himself will have the full hearing thereof. He sets not any about a work, of which he means not to take cognizance how it was done. And were it not better that the audit should be in thy more private court, than thou be called to give up thy account at his dreadful tribunal? Resolve therefore to commune with thy heart upon this point; and the sooner thou goest about it the better it is like to be done, because then the circumstances of the action will be freshest in thy memory. Go not then out of thy closet till thou hast examined thy heart. If thy thoughts in prayer shall be found to have been in any measure free and entire, thy affections warm and lively, matter of joy will arise to thee, and thanksgiving to God that thou hast escaped the hands of so many rovers and freebooters that lay in wait to make prize of thee. But, take heed thou applaudest not thyself for thine own care and circumspection. Alas! thou wert not thine own keeper. He that lent his ear to thy prayer gave thee thy heart to pray, and also keep it up in duty. Say rather with David, ‘Who am I, that I should be able to offer so willingly?’ If thy heart upon the review be found to have played the truant, take shame, that thou beest not put to shame before the Lord. O blush to think thou shouldst be so unfaithful to God and thine own soul, yea so foolish, to run up and down on every idle errand which Satan sends thee, and in the meanwhile neglect thy own work of so great an importance! The spouse’s complaint may fit thy mouth: ‘They made me the keeper of the vineyards, but mine own vineyard have I not kept.’
He is an unwise messenger who, being sent to market to provide food, is drawn by every idle companion to spend both his time and money in vain, and at night comes home without bread for the hungry family. O! Christian, was not thy errand to the throne of grace to get new supplies from heaven for thy poor soul? And doth it not grieve thee to think that now thy soul must pinch, for thy playing away thy praying time and talent, which, as market money, was put into thy hand to procure a new store? Yea, that thou hast been injurious to thy God by taking his name in vain? Thou appearedst in a praying posture; thy hand voice were lift up to heaven, as if thou meantest to pray; but—like him who said he would go into the vineyard, and did not—thou hast turned a contrary way, and set thy thoughts to work in another field. Will not this affect thy heart? Yes, surely, and afflict it also. And this affliction of thy spirit will be a sovereign means to excite thy care for the future. The faults which are unobserved are also uncorrected in the scholar's exercise, and so not like to be mended in the next. Wandering thoughts in prayer are like vagrants. No such way to rid the country of one, and the heart of the other, as by giving both the law—the lash, I mean.
Question. O! but, saith the Christian, I have used this means, and yet, to the grief of my heart, I am still pestered with them.
Answer. Take a few consolatory words to ease thy aching heart, that groans under the burden of these thy wandering thoughts.
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