[1.] See whether thou hast not been tampering with some sin knowingly. There is an antipathy betwixt sinning and praying, partly from guilt, which makes the soul shy of coming into God's sight, because conscious of a fault. The child that hath misspent the day in play abroad, steals to bed at night, or plays least in sight, for fear of a chiding, or worse, from his father. And also there is this antipathy between those two lines of acting, as the same doth roil and disorder the heart. Sin and prayer are such contraries, that it is impossible at one stride to step from one to another. It is an ill time when the fountain is stopped or muddied, to go to draw water thence. If the workman’s tools be blunt or gapped, no work an be well done till a new edge be set on them. It is the devil's policy thus to disturb and unfit the Christian for duty that he may leave it undone. And therefore, let thy first care be to keep the fountain of thy heart clear all the day long, as remembering that from it those holy affections which in prayer thou art to pour forth to God must be drawn. Look thou lendest not any power of thy soul to be Satan's instrument in sin’s coarse foul work, lest thou find it out of case when thou art to use it in this spiritual service. A good servant will not have her dishes or pots foul when they should be used, but stand clean and bright upon the shelf, to be ready against they are called for. And so is the true Christian characterized. ‘If a man therefore purge himself from these, he shall be a vessel unto honour, sanctified, and meet for the Master’s use, and prepared unto every good work,’ II Tim. 2:21.
But again, if thou findest guilt to be contracted and thence a fear to come so nigh God, as this duty will bring thee, yea an estrangement also upon thy heart from this work, thy best way is to speedily to renew thy repentance, and so thy faith both for pardoning mercy and purging grace. New breaches are made up better than long quarrels; green wounds healed easier than old sores; spots washed out sooner when newly got than when ingrained by long continuance. Ply thee to the throne of grace. Water the earth, if thou canst, with thy tears, and fill heaven with sorrowful sighs for thy sin; but by no means shift off the duty on this pretence; for that is not the way to mend the matter, but make it worse. Jonah did ill to consult his credit rather than the exaltation of God’s mercy; and how he should come honourably off with this embassage, than how the name of the great God his Master that sent him might be magnified. But he did worse than these sinful thoughts stirred in him—which he should have humbled himself for—made him run away from his Master’s work also. Thus, Christian, it is ill done of thee to make a breach in thy holy course by tampering with any sin; but thou wilt commit a greater if thou turnest thy back on God also in that ordinance where thou shouldst humble thyself for thy former sin. Can one sin be a good argument for committing another? Thou hast fallen into sin in the day; wilt thou not therefore pray at night? Surely it were better to beg of God forgiveness of this, and more grace, that thou mayest not do the like or worse to morrow. Neglect of duty is not the way to help thee out of the pit thou art in, nor keep thee from falling into another. Take heed thou runnest not thyself further into temptation. Now is the time for the devil to set upon thee, when this weapon is out of thy hand. The best thou canst look for is a storm from God to bring back thee, his runaway servant, to thy work again. And the sooner it comes, the more merciful he is to thee.
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