This morning as I
was reading Oswald Chambers devotion, it dawned on me that something that
happened to me so many years ago was right there in the Bible, yet, I had no
idea it was written in one of the books that I love so much, the Romans.
When I first
entered the wilderness with Him, He gave me two solemn warnings. One was that
voice I heard when I was by myself in the house. The voice was loud and so
clear that I did not move for a few seconds. All I heard was “nothing in
this life is about you” This was the first and the last time I heard His
voice that way. I also understand later on, He spoke to me that way because I have
not acquired the discipline of hearing Him in my heart yet.
Through the
message, I knew “hard time” was coming but I was not prepared for what was
ahead for me and I am glad I did not know the full scope. Right after this
message, I was put through a rigorous training of hearing the Holy Spirit
speaking to my heart. During that period one thing He made clear to me was that
not only my life was never to be about me, but as we move forward, anything
that will happen to me during this period I was in, had nothing to do with me. I
did not say a word; I listened and remained silent the whole time. It is funny
how both of us all of the sudden were silent. But my silence was not the same
as God’s because though He was no longer talking, He was for lack of a better
word, infusing in me what He meant by “this period of my life had
nothing to do with me”
It was one of the
most beautiful experiences that He let me keep with me even now. I knew that
everything about that particular season of my life was about God and other
people that He would put in my path. I knew, rejecting the season or wasting it
away, meant forfeiting God’s plan for me. What was amazing in my experiencing
this with Him was the fact that I could see myself as being just a tool. I
could see from the moment I was conceived in my mother’s womb that was God’s
purpose all along. There were a whole bunch of people in the shadow, all faceless,
I could see they came from all shapes, height, sex, and sizes. While it
appeared they were all strangers, yet they were holding hands. They were also
waiting there, as if they were waiting for me to make my move or say
something. All I got from this encounter
was that I was born to touch their lives in whatever capacity He decided.
This encounter
also helped me in such a deep way to walk the steadfast life. I knew, my going
through the season, was simply part of the process. It was amazing to see
something so personal and so intimate could make me feel so much like I do not
matter. Let me explain. It was very important for God to make me feel like I
was something like a hammer that was fashioned for the purpose of being used
just like a hammer would be. I carried this understanding and feeling within my
heart to see me through the darkest days of my wilderness, even when things
were unbearable to my soul. I was aware, if I did not let Him have His ways,
then how could I live with myself knowing I failed these people? I failed God?
I failed the reason I was born for?
I wish I could make you see with your
spiritual eyes the impact of knowing that even when you were nothing yet, your
father or grandfather were not even born. Yet, God put a plan forward with you
in mind. Can you grasp the magnitude of the God that we serve? Can you see how
important you are? It is never about the big thing you can do. The sensation
and the importance, but it is about being His instrument as you live the life
you were born for. Through this experience I could see when we all die and
Christ is putting all things the way they should, people that I honor now,
might end up being last. I beg you to see with your heart what I am saying it
is who you are “IN HIS HANDS” that matters.
To me, it was not
a question that God could change His plan and use someone else or do it
Himself. It was instilled in me that was my responsibility. I felt, if I fail,
then my life was worthless. From this single experience I learned so much that
I could write a book about it. But, the funny thing is, all I learned no matter
how I look at it, all I can see is God’s sovereignty which has been magnified
in my life more than I could find words to explain myself. I enjoyed learning a
tiny bit about the intricacies of His plan for us and how each one of us has a
responsibility and how important it is to live out His plan for us.
I could see
through the experience with Him, how when you touch someone’s life according to
His will in your own life, the gift keeps on giving even after one hundred
years or two thousand years down the road. I know my writings do not cajole
people and make them feel good in their lethargy. If I were to do that to get
more readers, or to be liked, I would not be true to the reason of my being on
this earth. I would not be true to Him who made me. I also know God has a plan
and my writings will find those I am writing for. BLESSED BE HIS NAME! These
people are singled out by God Himself.
I am the first
one amazed at God’s power when I learn from books written 3, 4 or 7 hundred
years ago. While these people are long gone that even their bones no longer
there, but, because they live God’s purpose for their lives, they are still
teaching me. They are allowing me to go deeper and deeper in Him. What is more
amazing is that when I read those classic and those puritan books and sermons, I
know God had me personally in mind. He knew this person writing was going to
make an impact on me for His Glory. What an amazing life we have waiting for
us? What a magnificent God we serve? I hate the fact that there is not enough
room in my heart to love Him the way He deserves. I hate most that I keep
failing Him over and over again in this life, when in reality He deserves my all,
unconditionally.
This is why, as
long as I live, and as long as it is His will for me, I will always write
against physical selfishness, mental carelessness, moral insensitivity, or
spiritual weakness, and our lethargy because the Christian life is too hard. Whether
we like it or not, it makes a difference to God because His Word told us in Revelation
2:7 “…..To him who overcomes, I will give the right to eat from the tree of
life, which is in the paradise of God” At the right time, He will separate those who profess
to be Christians and those who possess the Christian faith and we
are dead wrong if we think all we will be losing is just some reward.
I know I have a
long way to go. So, am I perfect at it? This is a big NO and thousands times
NO, but I am truly a work in progress in His hands of love. Every
day comes with its own challenges and sometimes the learning curve is so steep
I want to rest. (This rest here means when you go back to your old self to find
your comfort zone) But I also know that I can do all things through Him who
strengthens me, so I keep going forward toward the goal, apprehending what He
apprehended me for.
Are you living
out God’s purpose for your life? Are you your brother’s keeper? I beg you not to take things lightly!
This should have been split in two post. I apologize. But, I will leave you with Oswald Chambers devotion for today. Read it if you have time or come back to it when you can.
“Am I My Brother’s Keeper?”
Has it ever dawned on you that you are responsible spiritually to God for other people? For instance, if I allow any turning away from God in my private life, everyone around me suffers. We “sit together in the heavenly places . . .” (Ephesians 2:6). “If one member suffers, all the members suffer with it . . .” (1 Corinthians 12:26). If you allow physical selfishness, mental carelessness, moral insensitivity, or spiritual weakness, everyone in contact with you will suffer. But you ask, “Who is sufficient to be able to live up to such a lofty standard?” “Our sufficiency is from God . . .” and God alone (2 Corinthians 3:5).
“You shall be witnesses to Me . . .” (Acts 1:8). How many of us are willing to spend every bit of our nervous, mental, moral, and spiritual energy for Jesus Christ? That is what God means when He uses the word witness. But it takes time, so be patient with yourself. Why has God left us on the earth? Is it simply to be saved and sanctified? No, it is to be at work in service to Him. Am I willing to be broken bread and poured-out wine for Him? Am I willing to be of no value to this age or this life except for one purpose and one alone— to be used to disciple men and women to the Lord Jesus Christ. My life of service to God is the way I say “thank you” to Him for His inexpressibly wonderful salvation. Remember, it is quite possible for God to set any of us aside if we refuse to be of service to Him— “. . . lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified” (1 Corinthians 9:27).
Courtesy of: http://utmost.org/
