Not long ago, I was talking
to an older Christian lady who has been a Christian for about fifty years. She
then told me proudly about a prayer and a deal she made with God. When she
finished her story, I did not say a word simply because I did not know what to
say. My mind was vacillating between, her stupidity, her stubbornness, and her
ignorance that is larger than life. I also felt pity for her and her obvious
need to have Jesus come into her heart. Her prayer was exactly the way Oswald
Chambers described it. Which means her prayer was pitiful, self-centered with
lack of belief in the atonement of Christ and so on. The prayer she was so proud of, I can sum it
up for you in this way “God do this favour to me and I will do this for you”
Yet, this was not the worst part. The worst part was when she told me what she
wanted to do for God, it was so juvenile, like saying to God, give me a million
dollars and I will say thank you to you. She was so proud that her prayer has
been heard that I asked myself, where am I supposed to start with this person?
We would be wrong to ignore
what Oswald said in the first paragraph of June 20 devotional and jump into the
second paragraph while thinking that it will all work out like by magic, if we
learn to pray for our friends. Here is
what Oswald said in the first paragraph: “The fact that I am trying to be
right with God is actually a sign that I am rebelling against the atonement by
the Cross of Christ. I pray, “Lord, I will purify my heart if You will answer
my prayer— I will walk rightly before You if You will help me.” But
I cannot make myself right with God; I cannot make my life
perfect. I can only be right with God if I accept the atonement of the Lord
Jesus Christ as an absolute gift. Am I humble enough to accept it? I have to
surrender all my rights and demands, and cease from every self-effort. I must
leave myself completely alone in His hands, and then I can begin to pour my
life out in the priestly work of intercession.” Through these words,
he is telling us to learn cultivate the inner life before we learn to intercede
for others.
As you learn to cultivate the
inner life, you have no need to make deals with God anymore because you know His
role along with yours. Also, His atonement has magnified in your life in more
ways than one. Oswald is also saying that apart from learning to cultivate an
inner life you need to change your attitude toward God, you need to change your
motive and your reason for doing good deeds and walking with Him.
He is telling you to learn to
humble yourself before Him by understanding first of all your need for Him and
who He is, then accept and embrace your new found knowledge in Him and incorporate
it all in your life. Then, lay down your
life at His feet. Actually, if you pay close attention to the chapter of the
Bible that Oswald based his devotional for June 20, you will find that, Job 42:10
tells you “After Job had prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his
fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before.” But, once
again, it would be wrong to take verse 10 of Job 42 and run with it by claiming
it for your life without putting into context what has happened in Job’s life.
I have to be honest here. When
God moved in, to change my life by turning it upside down and inside out, as if
it was not enough, He then shattered it into millions of pieces, I read Job and
I was strengthened when I read partly verse 42”10. I kept living with the hope that
one day I will be like Job and God will be giving me much of what I have lost. As
time went by, this idea or this presumptuous faith was a hindrance in my walk
with Him and He had to deal with me because I was stuck. And because it was
presumptuous faith, it caused me so much anxiety and I was messing up the
waiting process He put me in, to work through me.
But, if you have ever gone
through a wilderness time or dark nights with Him, you know for yourself, of
all these emotions Job has gone through. One of them was his attitude toward
his life and the fact that he felt he was dealt with unfairly. From a human
point of view it is true. You also find, that God broke the silence and finally answered Job’s
many questions and it was not at all what Job was expecting but it was
sufficient. From chapter 38 to chapter 42 the conversation is between God and
Job where God did most of the talking and basically you can sum up God’s answer
in few words, “who do you think you are Job?”
Then, you find the beauty in chapter
42. If you take a look at verses 5-6, you will see Job’s response to God “My
ears had heard of you but
now my eyes have seen you. Therefore I despise myself and repent in
dust and ashes.” After this treacherous time in his life, before he prayed
for his friends and before God restored his wealth and everything Job lost, he
found out the ministry of the inner life and he could see God with his
spiritual eyes. He experienced his creator in a way that he had never before,
he found out being His bondservant is awesome, but when you pass from
bondservant to friend, it is more awesome than your heart can take.
Look at the awesomeness of
knowing God in the inner parts. Job asked for forgiveness and repented in verse
5-6, yet he was still suffering because of his health and with all the losses
he incurred in his life. God had not restored things for him yet. But, when you
meet with Him face to face, none of it matters. This moment he was experiencing
with Him that led him to ask for forgiveness and to repent, meant the world to
Job and it was more precious than silver and gold. Of course, God always takes
the sweetness of those moments away from us because it would give us an edge
and this life would be easy as we would be floating all the time.
Furthermore, during the time
of hardship especially when we experience lost beyond measure, it is extremely
important to understand that we cannot expect the outcome of our lives to be
the same as Job. We can always expect to grow and to be more intimate with Him,
but the rest is up to Him. As God dealt with me to help me get rid of my
presumptuous faith, I found that I had to come to a point where I was satisfied
with Him whether He restores my life back to what it was before or not. As time
went by, I learned from the Holy Spirit that sometimes the wealth we received
in terms of experiencing Him and the knowledge of Him we accumulate as we walk
those dark nights, should be enough to make up for what we lost in terms of
materials and health.
One thing we learn as we
learn the ministry of the inner life is that, prayer is a big part of this
ministry. Prayer becomes sweet to our soul and you find out that you have lost
that narrow mindedness where you concentrate on you all the time. Personally I
find when I am praying for everybody else which is every day, it is like I have
a constant need to ask daddy for a favour for one of my friends, a family
member, someone you see on the street etc. Except, in this relationship, your
earthly father could get tired of you coming day in day out but, the oneness in
your heavenly relationship with the Father calls for you to keep asking and He
simply enjoys that you take it onto you to keep coming with those requests. The
ministry of the inner life is indeed a delightful one.