Seventh Direction. Be sure to get some Christian friend whom thou mayest trust above others to be thy faithful monitor. O that man hath a great help for the maintaining the power of godliness, that hath an open-hearted friend that dare speak his heart to him! A stander-by sees more sometimes, by a man, than the actor can do by himself, and is more fit to judge of his actions than he is of his own. Sometimes self-love blinds us in our own cause, that we see not ourselves so bad as we are; and sometimes we are over-suspicious of the worst by ourselves, which makes us appear to ourselves worse than we are. Now that thou mayest not deprive thyself of so great help from thy friend, be sure to keep thy heart ready with meekness to receive, yea, with thankfulness to embrace, a reproof from his mouth. Those that cannot bear plain dealing hurt themselves most; for by this they seldom hear the truth. He that hath not love enough to give a reproof seasonably to his brother, nor humility enough to bear a reproof from him, is not worthy to be called a Christian.
By the first he shows himself a ‘hater of his brother,’ Lev. 19:17; by the second he proves himself ‘a scorner,’ Prov. 9:8. Holy David professed he would take it as ‘a kindness’ for the ‘righteous to smite him,’ yea, as kindly as he broke a box of precious oil upon his head, which was amongst the Jews a high expression of love, Ps. 141:5. And he made his word good. He did not, as the Papists do by their holy water, commend it highly, but turn away his face, when it comes to sprinkled on him. No, Abigail and Nathan who reproved him —one for his bloody intentions against Nabal and his family—the other for his bloody fact upon Uriah; —they both sped well in their errand. The first prevented the fact intended by her seasonable reproof; the second recovered him out of that dismal sin of murder, wherein he had lain some months without coming so far to himself as to repent of it, for aught that we read. And it is observable that they did not only prevail in the business, but endeared themselves so unto him, by their faithfulness to his soul, that he takes Abigail to be his wife, and Nathan to be his most privy counsellor to hi dying day, I Kings 1:27, 32. Truly it is one great reason why the falls of professors are so frequent in our days, and their recoveries so rare of late, because few in these unloving times are to be found so faithful as to do this Christian office of reproof to their brethren. They will sooner go and tattle of it to others to their disgrace, than speak of it to themselves for their recovery. Indeed, by telling others, we obstruct our way from telling the person himself with any hope of doing him good. It will be hard to make him believe thou comest to heal his soul when thou hast already wounded his name.
Eighth Direction. Be often seriously thinking how holily and righteously you will, in a dying hour, wish you had lived. They who now think it matters not much what language drivels from them, what company they walk in, what they busy their time about, how they comport with God in his worship, and with man in their dealings, but live at large, and care not much which end goes foremost, yea wonder at the niceness and zeal of others, as if there were no pace would carry them to heaven but the gallop; when once death comes so near as to be known by its own grim face, and not to report of others, when these poor creatures see they must in earnest into another world, without any delay, and their naked souls must return to ‘God who gave them,’ to hear what interpretation he will put upon the course and tenor of their walking, and accordingly to pass an irrevocable sentence of life or death upon them, now their thoughts will begin to change, and take up other notions of a righteous and holy life than ever they had before.
It is observed among the Papists that many cardinals, and other great ones, who would think that their cowl and religious habit ill become them in their health,, yet are very ambitious to die and to be buried in them, as commonly they are. Though this be a foppery in itself, yet it helps us to a notion considerable. They who live wickedly and loosely, yet like a religious habit very well when to go into another world. As that young gallant said to his swaggering companion—after they had visited Ambrose lying on his dying bed, and saw how comfortably he lay, triumphing over death now approaching—‘O that I might live with thee, and die with Ambrose.’ Vain wish! wouldst thou, O man, not reap what thou sowest, and find what thou layest up with thy own hands? Dost thou sow cockle and wouldst reap wheat? Dost thou fill thy chest with dirt, and expect to find gold when thou openest it? Cheat and gull thyself thou mayest, but thou canst not mock God, who will pay thee in the same coin at thy death which thou treasurest up in thy life. There are few so horribly wicked, but the thoughts of death awes them. They dare not fall upon their wicked practices till they have got some distance from the thoughts of this. Christian, walk in the company of it every day by serious meditation, and tell me at the week's end whether it doth not keep worse company from thee.