THE PRECIOUSNESS OF TRIAL - Part 1

EXCERPT FROM THE BOOK: THE PRECIOUS THINGS OF GOD

by Octavius Winslow, 1859

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"The trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perishes." 1 Pet. 1:7

It is the preciousness of trial in general, including the preciousness of the trial of faith in particular, to which the apostle thus refers. We propose, therefore, to amplify the truth, and to illustrate in the present chapter the preciousness of all those trials of which, more or less, the saints of God are partakers. This view may present the subject of trial in a point of light more soothing and sanctifying than the reader has been used to contemplate it. You have thought of trial, have anticipated trial, have met trial, have shrunk from trial as the patient recoils from the surgeon's lance, forgetting that that very trial was the needed process by which God was about to work out some great good in your personal experience; and that so far from being dreaded, it should be welcomed as among the most precious things of God, the richest blessings of the everlasting covenant. The points we propose to illustrate are trial—the preciousness of trial—and the blessings that spring from trial.

The term is expressive. It refers to a process by which the character or strength of a thing is tested. The engineer tries the base of his arch, the architect tries the foundation of his building, the refiner tries the nature of his ore. The word trial thus acquires a significant import in relation to that disciplinary process by which God proves His people. Trial, then, becomes a necessary element in the schooling and training of the children of God for duty and service upon earth, and for enjoyment and glory in heaven. Exempt the Church of God from trial, and she is excluded from a process the results of which are incalculable in her experience.

It will tend to open this subject more forcibly, if we consider who the Lord tries in the sense in which the term is now employed. There is one passage in God's book which contains—as many brief sentences of inspired truth do—a volume in a word, and it will supply the answer to the question, Who does the Lord try? "The Lord tries the righteous." The furnace in which God places His people—in other words, the process of trial by which He proves them—is not the same by which the ungodly world is tried. "The fire in Zion, and His furnace in Jerusalem," are only for His own elect. 

He has the crucible for gold, and the crucible for earth—the fire of love, and the fire of wrath; and in nothing will He more distinguish His own people from the ungodly,—the gold from the "reprobate silver,"—than in the mode by which both are thus dealt with. He tries the righteous because they are righteous; He chastens His sons, because they are sons; He reproves, rebukes, afflicts them, because He loves them, having "chosen them in the furnace of affliction." What touching words of Christ are these—who can read them without emotion?—"As many as I love I rebuke and chasten." Again, "Whom the Lord loves he chastens, and scourges every son whom he receives." Thus, it is His own people, His righteous, His holy ones, on whom His afflictive hand is often the most severely and heavily laid. "The Lord tries the RIGHTEOUS."

But what does the Lord try? It is not our fallen nature that He tries, the existence of whose depravity is clear and unmistakable. There needs no proof that we are sinful and corrupt, and that "in our flesh there dwells no good thing." But the Lord tries His own wondrous work of grace in the soul. He tries everything that is divine, and good, and holy in the regenerate. He tries their principles, He tries their motives, He tries their graces, He tries their knowledge, He tries their experience, He tries His own work. Take, for example, a few of the spiritual graces which He more especially brings to the test of trial. He tries the believer's love."Loves you me more than this?" is often the probing question of Jesus to His disciples. He will test the reality, the sincerity, the strength of our love to Him—whether it can confide in Him when He smites, cling to Him when He retires, obey Him when He commands—whether it will entwine around Him the closer that the storms seek to tear it from its hold. "Can you resign this blessing?

will you undertake this service? are you able to drink this cup, or bear this cross for me?" is the significant language of many a trial with which the Lord tries the righteous. Happy if your love sustains the test of its sincerity, and your heart replies, "Yes, Lord; Your love inspiring my love, Your grace helping my infirmity, Your strength perfected in my weakness, I can—I will—I DO."

The Lord tries also the patience of His people. There is, perhaps, no grace of the Spirit, or adornment of the Christian character more overlooked than this, and yet there is not one more precious, God-honoring, and beautifying. To find this divine and rare pearl, we must often pass from the surface of society, and seek it—where, indeed, the piety and taste of few lead them—amid scenes of suffering, of grief, of adversity. In some secluded apartment, on some couch of languor, or bed of sickness, shaded by poverty and loneliness, this divine grace may exist—no eye beholding its sparkling amid the surrounding gloom, but His whose"eyes are over the righteous, and whose ear is open to their cry." There may be seen the patient, quiet spirit of a humble believer in Jesus, enduring without a murmuring word, bearing without a rebellious feeling; suffering without a hard thought of Him who has smitten—with a calm, submissive, dignified surrender to the Divine disposal—the will of God. 

And yet, who, in whatever path he walks, finds not, in some circumstances of his daily history, the "need of patience?" The trying circumstances of life—the chafings of the hourly cross—the constant contact with dissimilar tastes, uncongenial minds, unsympathizing hearts—the delays in answer to prayer—the ceaseless pain—the restless head—the nervous temperament, to which the buzzing of a fly is agony—above all, the hidings of God, the tarrying of Jesus, the suspension of the Spirit's consolation—all, all demand the exercise of that patience with which the believer possesses his soul. This is the grace the Lord tries! Ah! how little know we of the impatience of our spirit—the petulance and unsubmissiveness which will brook no delay, which frets against the Lord, and rebels against His dealings—until the Lord tries us. But He tries our patience only to increase it. 

Humbled under the conviction how rebellious and repining is our spirit, we are led to cry mightily to God to give to us this grace, meekly to endure, silently to suffer, and cheerfully to do His will. "The Lord direct your hearts into the patience of Christ." "You have need of patience, that, after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise." We are exhorted to "let patience have her perfect work, that you may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing." "Here is the patience of the saints."

I have spoken of the trial of faith. Without recalling the train of thought already pursued, it may be well briefly to remark, that faith being the queen-grace of the graces—all others constituting her regal attendants—the Lord especially tries this grace of the believer, and by so doing He indirectly tries and so strengthens all the cognate graces of the soul. Thus, we read, "The trial of your faith works patience." And what are the ends to be accomplished in the trial of faith? The Lord tries our faith to test its genuineness, to promote its purity, to invigorate its power—thus to bring us into a more intimate acquaintance with Himself. Never should we try God as we do did He not try us as He does.

 We should, alas! be content to travel many a stage without Him. No childlike sense of dependence—no holy communes—no seeking His will—no trying of His love, faithfulness, and wisdom. How seldom would the Lord see our uplifted face, or our outstretched hands, or hear the plaint accents of our voice, did He permit this grace to lie sluggish and stagnant in the soul. But it is "living water" which Christ has deposited within the regenerate, and trial is needed to keep it pure, sparkling, and ascending. Be you sure of this, then, beloved, that the Lord thus exercises your faith only to make you a richer possessor of this most enriching of the graces. It is a kind process of Jesus by which He seeks your greatest good. 

The more your faith is tried, the more it deals with God, and travels to Christ; and it is impossible for you to spend one minute with God, or to catch one glimpse of Christ, and not be sensibly and immeasurably the gainer. The more your faith leads you to the throne of grace, the more precious will prayer become. The more your faith deals with the atonement of Christ, the more will the glory of His work unfold to your mind. The more your faith takes hold of the Divine promises, the more will it be confirmed in the truth of God's word. Thus faith—so supernatural and wondrous a grace is it—transmutes everything it touches into most precious gold, and so confers upon its tried but happy possessor "greater riches than the treasures of Egypt."

But who can travel the circle of all the trials to which the saints of God are subject? How great their variety! how peculiar often their character! Each child of God seems to move in a groove peculiar to himself, to revolve round the great center in an orbit of his own. The Lord deals with us as individuals that we may have individual dealings with Him. Therefore, among the catalogue of the Christian's trials, those of an individual nature may take the precedence of all others. It is a great mercy when we can retire from the crowd and deal with God individually—when we can take the precious promises to ourselves individually—when we can repair to Jesus with individual sins, infirmities, and sorrows, feeling that His eye bends its glance upon us, His ear bows down to us, His hand is outstretched to us, His whole heart absorbed in us, as though not another claimant, suitor, or sufferer unveiled a sorrow or preferred a request—as if, in a word, we were the solitary object of His love. 

Oh, deal with Christ personally, even as He deals personally with you. His invitation is, "Come unto ME,"—and He would have you come,—and you cannot honor Him more—recognizing His personality, and His personal relation to yourself, and disclosing your personal circumstances, making confession of personal sin, presenting personal wants, and unveiling personal infirmities, backslidings, and sorrows.

Faith - Part 9

  How do we know we are actually living out true faith?

The answer is when we believe everything God said about Himself and everything He said about us. When you can believe that He is indeed everything He said He is, brings you to a place where you can make a total commitment to Him. But the challenge we all face, is getting to that state where the belief that is in the mind is transferred to the heart and into practice into the everyday life. 

A. W. Tozer said: The word “faith” is common these days, but placing one’s faith in God is a weighty action, uncommonly fraught with consequence and, by His design, inconvenience. Faith in God is reassuring and comforting only insofar as believers trust Him—and that depth of trust is the mark of a mature Christian who has allowed faith to intrude on his life and shift his gaze away from his.

  

When I was in the wilderness with God by the time I reached 2007, things have gotten so bad that for a moment I felt God was cruel.  You see, I had my own expectations and understanding and in my mind I was under the impression that God can only push things so far. Let me explain what I mean by that. While this is not biblical to think that God could push things so far, but I came to think this way, by hanging on to certain verses which I understood with the little intellect I have.  I can think of two of those verses right now.  One of them is “ I will never leave you nor forsake you” and the other one is “ for I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  In my mind I thought, for God to take everything away from me was in contradiction to so many verses in the Bible and I could not wrap my brain around it.

Between 2005 up to the beginning of 2007 God kept bringing me to places where I needed to prove to Him that I trusted Him Even though the uncertainty was insurmountable and I could not see where anything was leading, I kept saying yes to God and chose Him over and over again thinking it would be sufficient. (After all, He did not let Abraham sacrifice Isaac)  I had no idea what God was doing, was simply preparing me for the worst that was yet to come.

In my mind, I kept thinking there is no way God would take me deeper because my life would be catastrophic so the alternative was unthinkable.  But, if you follow my thoughts so far, you will notice all throughout my hardship, I was looking at me, my pain, my failure and my losses. Yet, even though I was wrong all the way and Salvation was still about me, I had no idea I was failing Him miserably. I honestly felt that I proved myself to God when it came to my faith in Him and as far as I was concerned He should have been satisfied. After all, when it truly mattered and He put me to the test, I chose Him.

To make a long story short, when time was of the essence and I needed God to come to my rescue and end the waiting process, He told me it was time to come to terms with the worst case scenario. Then He showed me His worst case scenario would be me being homeless on the streets and alone. Well, I answered Him by lashing out to Him and I told Him He did not honor His word. After I hashed it out with God, I learned to trust Him and that He had a plan for me even if I could not understand the reason behind it all, it was not my place to doubt Him.  Even though I was scared, confused and in pain because the life that I knew was disintegrating before my eyes and I could not do anything to salvage it, I actually accepted my fate.  With uncontrollable tears and intense pain I went to Him and said “May your will be done regardless what I expect or desire.” When I finished, I asked Him to watch over me and I would appreciate it if He could show me which street is better. I prayed that He would sustain me through the pain, all the losses and the shame.

Later on, God showed when I accepted the worst case scenario that was the moment I showed true faith in Him.  He showed me the difference between the first few months when I chose Him but I made the outcome and everything else about what He was putting me through, about me. Even though I was still a babe in the faith, I found there was a world of a difference in my heart.  There was humility in my heart, I had a heart focussed more on living upon Him, I was persuaded of His right to my life and I surrendered to the truth of the word of God.

Amazingly, as soon as I made the decision to trust Him, He showed me how us Christians misunderstand and misused verses of the Bible most of the time because we understand them with our intellect. I also stopped thinking that God owed me anything. He also taught me why most Christians do not have faith but they are not aware of it. It was something out of this world how He opened up my heart to learn spiritual truths. But most of what He taught me during that time was about the state of Christianity out there and why I needed to be set apart.

Well, since He was so happy with me and He was teaching me so much, I again assumed that He was not going to go through with His plan for me to be out there on the streets.  Not only I was wrong, He did go through the worst case scenario with me.  Furthermore, I found out soon after, the loss of everything and being homeless was just the beginning of what was going to become my life.

When I first lost everything there was nothing left except perhaps my life for Him to take, I did not even have time to mourn my losses because God was busy putting me through the brokenness process, then it was a time of regeneration, the next that followed was declaring me holy. It all happened in that order. During that time, I was so shattered into millions of pieces on the inside I felt like a shadow of myself.  At times I wish I could get an epidural to endure the pain of the impartation process. There were times, I wish I could sleep while God did the work in me. But, this is not how God works. I am now in my eighth years and the waiting process is still in full fledge.

All this happened because I felt called by Him to draw closer. When I obeyed the call, I had no idea this was going to be a life long of testing faith.

The rest of this story is for another post.

My God Is Worthy Of The Risk!

Hebrews 4: 12 “For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.”

Hebrews 5: 13-14 “Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness.  But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.”

Hebrews 6:11-12 “We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, so that what you hope for may be fully realized. We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.”

Hebrews 10:38-39 “But my righteous one will live by faith. And I take no pleasure in the one who shrinks back.” But we do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved.”

Hebrews 10:29 “ How much more severely do you think someone deserves to be punished who has trampled the Son of God underfoot, who has treated as an unholy thing the blood of the covenant that sanctified them, and who has insulted the Spirit of grace?”

The book of Hebrews is one of my favourite books of the Bible. I have acquired this tenderness for this particular book because God used it to open my eyes and helped me understand two major things in my walk with Him. The first one is that the way we live what we claim to believe, truly matters to Him. The second thing I learned right at the onset of going through the wilderness process with God, is that there is no such thing as living the true Christian life while sitting on the fence spiritually speaking. I remember this vividly, because when God got hold of me and turned my life upside down He taught me that we could sit on the fence at a spiritual level. I was surprised because the people, who were the pillars of the Church I used to attend to, a few years back, told me that I was sitting on the fence based on the Church’s activities I was willing to take on. In order to rectify the situation I obeyed them to the point where I took on more work than I could chew.  

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Later on, when God took my hand like a child even though He did not say a word, I knew I was leaving the people that I learned to love like a true family, behind. It was painful to me. Because I did not know God, so even though He took me by the hand, His hand could not take away the pain of leaving my family behind. (Like a child leaving behind mom and dad) He knew I was in pain.  He then went on explaining how this stage of my walk with Him was important. He showed me how all that I have been doing so far was just “dead works”. Sadly, it was not only me. The whole Church looked like a bunch of rebellious lost sheep that would not follow Him, His way. It was dead works all over. It was sad because this is such a big and busy Church. Then He said “where I am leading you, none of them can take you there.” Then all of the sudden, the pain that I felt changed and I realized it was an honour that He chose me and I should join Him willingly, with gladness in my heart.

In Christianity there is no room to just live a life where we “sample” and we cannot stand at the door not being sure whether we want to go in or remain out. (Spiritually speaking) In fact, if you are truly walking with God, you will find at one point, not only He needs you to move forward with Him, but He will also destroy the bridge behind you. Like the Israelites, once they crossed the red sea it was a place of no return and they had no idea where God was leading.

In my case, while I did not have a red sea, but He showed me a bridge that led in and out of the world I used to know and this bridge was destroyed behind me. I vividly remember the time, because I looked back in my spirit, and He saw what I did. For a few seconds I felt, the Christianity God sets out to show me was too hard and I said to myself, I can’t take more of this thing. Even when I was experiencing Him left right and centre, the pain became too great in the practical life.  Another thing, I felt for a moment, because of His love, it would be okay even if I do not continue with Him.  My life was painful, lonely, I was jobless, the shame was overwhelming, and I could tell there were more storms that looked more like a spiritual typhoon coming my way.  I was about to lose every single thing I ever possessed and I was on my way of becoming homeless. I looked back because in my mind I felt, if I took the situation in my own hands, I might have a chance to stop the landslide that became my life.  It is an amazing to see how in my spirit, I looked back, like lot’s wife looking back at what was lost and like the Israelites holding onto Egypt like a dog with a bone. 

When I turned back, even though I have done it in the spirit, but I knew it was a desire of the flesh. I could see the contrast between the spirit and the flesh. In a fraction of a second, God showed me the bridge was no longer there and it felt as if He left me by myself to reassess. By then, I was a Christian for about seven years. As I reassessed and took all what I knew of God into consideration, I chose Him. Not because I knew Him well, but because I knew by then He was real. I remember after I chose Him, while I was in pain, in my heart I knew it was all dung that I had to leave behind. My only concerned then was to ask Him “where am I going to sleep God?” Even that, I needed to let go and trusted Him to take care of things for me one step at the time. This looking back I referred to, is not just for me. It is a universal truth about our relationship with Him. It is a test of faith in the worst moment of our lives. It is a test to see if we would trust Him and choose Him over again even though the road ahead is rough and plain nasty.

Strangely, even though God showed me there was no way back but I still had a decision to make within me. Am I going to continue with Him or not? I remember saying to myself “I know too much now to accept the natural life as my life, then the only logical step was to continue with Him.” The funny thing is, when I look back today, I realize I knew nothing compare to the learning, the spiritual growth and the transforming life that God has for us on this path that lead to the narrow gate. Yet, it was enough for me to trust and obey.

In the book of Hebrews the writer is sharing with us how important it is to continue because Christ is worth the risk, He is worth the pain and He is worth our trust. The writer also spelled out for us how sitting on the fence has its consequences. The warnings are all there for us and we are free to provoke Him with our presumptuous faith. The writer also shared with us in 6:9 “…., We are convinced of better things in your case—the things that have to do with salvation.”

The greatest things that accompany salvation as far as my heart is concerned, is about finding God through Christ. The very covenant God made with us is “Him being ours” as we walk with Him. It is strange to see how we hang on to some verses of the Bible as if we want to keep God in line with His promises, yet some of the greatest verses in the Bible that lead us right in His arms of love, we are not finding delight in them. Like Amos 3:3 “Do two walk together, unless they have agreed to meet?” Another verse is: James 4:8 Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.  (3 different colors 3 main themes)

I have hundreds of those verses that bring delight to my soul. When you think of James 4:8 this is a verse that evoke pain beyond measure. The only way we would know that is if we go with Him in a practical way living out the last part of this verse which is: “Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.” Incidentally, He showed me this verse is closely related to Hebrews 10:22-23 in the way He works them out in our lives.  He breaks us until we feel shattered in millions of pieces. He also humbles us in order to prepare our hearts for the intimate and holy life He is about to share with us as He draws near. So this little in James 4:8 has three components, the first one is that we draw near. The second one is that He comes closer too, but this closeness before we can enjoy it and find the delight that He brings to the soul we ought to let Him apply the third part of the verse which is: Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. This is where your will is important because you have a role to play too in this deal. We are given a command to draw near, but it is His job to cleanse our hands and purify our hearts. Then, once He starts the process of purifying us to prepare us to receive His holiness, we ought to remain put and let Him do the work. Through this work of cleansing our hands and hearts, we find that our double mindedness is no longer something we delight in anymore. Only then you are ready inwardly to share in His holiness.

The same principle applies to the verse Amos 3:3. How can you walk with God with a heart plagued with double mindedness? How can you walk with God with a heart filled with hypocrisy? A spirit of rebellion?  The verse itself tells you that there has to be an agreement. This agreement involved us agreeing with Him. Not us forcing our idea of salvation on Him. The similarity of our inclinations, what brings joy to our walk, the intimacy we share, the love, our habits, what brings pleasure to each other, etc. are things that we have to agree on and find delight in them as we share this love and intimate walk together.

Often times I read from the puritan writings that if we do not learn to share these things with God right now, if we cannot find delight in Him right here and right now, then, for those Christians, heaven would be hell and I have to agree with them. Well, if you do not delight in Him now, what makes you think this is going to happen to you after you are dead?

Yes, the blood of Jesus Christ washes us from all filth, but if it is true and this happened to you, why is it you are still living as if salvation has not touched you? Why living in your self-righteousness? Why the presumptuous faith that somehow cannot be changed into real faith? Why are you full of hypocrisy? Lust, sin, wickedness, harden heart etc? Where is the work of Salvation within? Where is the Cross of Christ? I am getting so excited with this post that I will make one more point and try very hard to stop myself.

In the book of Hebrews we have a passage that causes great controversy in 6:4. There are in reality four groups: one believes this passage does not relate to Christian because we have been sealed with the Spirit and God cannot lie so eternal security is ours while we live life, our way. Another group feels that this is just a hypothetical example and has nothing to do with those who confess their belief in Christ. The third group goes wild in explaining this verse in conjunction with their idea of salvation (this one is a gut’ wrenching) because you can see you are dealing with people who just want what God has to offer and they want Him to leave them alone. The fourth group believes like John Calvin, that this verse, Hebrews 6:4 is pertaining to those who never fully became Christian.

Here is how John Calvin explains those falling away: “experience shows that the reprobate are sometimes affected in a way so similar to the elect, that even in their own judgment there is no difference between them. Hence it is not strange, that by the Apostle a taste of heavenly gifts, and by Christ himself a temporary faith, is ascribed to them. Not that they truly perceive the power of spiritual grace and the sure light of faith…”

Needless to say that I am with Calvin here, not that this mean I am a Calvinist because my true religion is the Holy Spirit. However, today’s church more than ever is filled to capacity with the kind of Christians that are in the category of those referred to by the writer of Hebrews as those “falling away.” Sadly, these people are found from the pulpits to the pews and it goes deeper than that, because we find them right in the leadership of the Church as Church elders.