Bunyan's parents do not appear to have checked, or attempted to counteract, his unbridled career of wickedness. He gives no hint of the kind; but when he notices his wife's father, he adds that he 'was counted godly'; and in his beautiful nonsectarian catechism, there is a very touching conclusion to his instructions to children on their behavior to their parents:—' The Lord, if it is his will, convert our poor parents, that they, with us, maybe the children of God.' These fervent expressions may refer to his own parents; and, connecting them with other evidence, it appears that he was not blessed with pious example.
Upon one
occasion, when severely reproved for swearing, he says—' I wished, with all my
heart, that I might be a little child again, that my father might learn me to
speak without this wicked way of swearing.' In his numerous confessions, he
never expresses pain at having, by his vicious conduct, occasioned grief in his
father or mother. From this it may be inferred, that neither his father's
example nor precept had checked this wretched propensity to swearing and that
he owed nothing to his parents for moral training; but, on the contrary, they
had connived at, and encouraged him in, a course of life which made him a curse
to the neighborhood in which he lived.
In the midst of all
this violent depravity, the Holy Spirit began the work of regeneration in his
soul—a long, a solemn, yea, an awful work—which was to fit this poor debauched
youth for purity of conduct—for communion with heaven—for wondrous usefulness as
a minister of the gospel—for patient endurance of sufferings for righteousness'
sake—for the writing of works which promise to be a blessing to the Church in
all ages—for his support during his passage through the black river which has
no bridge—to shine all bright and glorious, as a star in the firmament of
heaven. 'Wonders of grace to God belong.'
During the period of his open profligacy, his conscience was ill at ease; at times the clanking of Satan's slavish chains in which he was hurrying to destruction, distracted him. The stern reality of a future state clouded and embittered many of those moments employed in gratifying his baser passions. The face of the eventful times in which he lived was rapidly changing; the trammels were loosened, which, with atrocious penalties, had fettered all free inquiry into religious truth. Puritanism began to walk upright; and as the restraints imposed upon Divine truths were taken off, in the same proportion restraints were imposed upon impiety, profaneness, and debauchery. A ringleader in all wickedness would not long continue without reproof, either personally, or as seen in the holy conduct of others.
Bunyan very properly attributed to a gracious God, those
checks of conscience which he so strongly felt even while he was apparently
dead in trespasses and sins. 'The Lord, even in my childhood, did scare and
affright me with fearful dreams, and did terrify me with dreadful visions.' 'I
often wished that there had been no hell, or that I had been a devil to torment
others.' A common childish but demoniac idea. His mind was as 'the troubled
sea, when it cannot rest, whose waters cast up mire and dirt.' 'A while after,
these terrible dreams did leave me; and with more greediness, according to the
strength of nature, I did let loose the reins of my lusts, and delighted in all
transgression against the law of God.' 'I was the very ringleader of all the
youth that kept me company, into ALL MANNER of vice and ungodliness.'
Dr. Southey and others have attempted to whiten this Blackmore, but the veil that they throw over him is so transparent that it cannot deceive those who are in the least degree spiritually enlightened. He alleges that Bunyan, in his mad career of vice and folly, 'was never so given over to a reprobate mind,' as to be wholly free from compunctions of conscience. This is the case with every depraved character, but he goes further when he asserts that 'Bunyan's heart never was hardened.'
This is directly opposed to his description of himself:—'I found within me a great desire to take my fill of sin, still studying what sin was yet to be committed; and I made as much haste as I could to fill my belly with its delicates, lest I should die before I had my desire.' He thus solemnly adds, 'In these things, I protest before God, I lie not, neither do I feign this sort of speech; these were really, strongly, and with all my heart, my desires; the good Lord, whose mercy is unsearchable, forgive me my transgressions.' The whole of his career, from childhood to manhood, was, 'According to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience' (Eph 2:2).
