Argument 2. A second argument Satan
useth, is this, He whose sorrow falls short of theirs that never truly
repented, he is not humbled enough. But, soul, thy sorrow falls
short of some that never truly repented; ergo. Well, the
first proposition is true, but how will Satan prove his minor? Thus:
Ahab, he took for his sin, and went in sackcloth. Judas, he made
bitter complaint. O, says Satan, didst thou not know such a one that
lay under terror of conscience, walking in a sad mournful condition so many
months, and every one took him for the greatest convert [in] the
country? And yet he at last fell foully, and proved an apostate. But
thou never didst feel such smart, pass so many weary nights and days in
mourning and bitter lamentation as he hath done, [and] therefore thou fallest
short of one that fell short of repentance. And truly this is a sad
stumbling-block to a soul in an hour of temptation. Like a ship sunk
in the mouth of the harbour, which is more dangerous to others than if it had
perished in the open sea; there is less scandal by the sins of the wicked, who
sink, as it were, in the broad sea of profaneness, than in those who are
convinced of sin, troubled in conscience, and miscarry so near the harbour,
within sight, as it were, of saving grace. Tempted souls can hardly
get over these without dashing. Am I better than such a one that proved
nought at last? Now to help thee a little to find out the fallacy of
this argument, we must distinguish between the terrors that accompany sorrow,
and the intrinsical nature of this grace. The first, which are
accessory, may be separated from the other, as the raging of the sea, which is
caused by the wind, from the sea when the wind is down. From this
distinction take two conclusions.
(1.)
One may fall short of an hypocrite in the terrors that sometimes accompany
sorrow, and yet have the truth of this grace, which the other with all his
terrors wants. Christians run into many mistakes, by judging rather
according to that which is accessory, than that which is essential to the
nature of duties and graces. Sometimes thou hearest one pray with a
moving expression, while thou canst hardly get out a few broken words in duty,
and thou art ready to accuse thyself and to admire him, as if the gilt of the
key made it open the door the better. Thou seest another abound with
joy which thou wantest, and art ready to conclude his grace more, and thine
less; whereas thou mayest have more real grace, only thou wantest a light to
show thee where it lies. Take heed of judging by
accessories. Perhaps thou hast not heard so much of the rattling
chains of hell, nor in thy conscience the outcries of the damned to make thy
flesh tremble; but hast not seen that in a bleeding Christ
which hath made thy heart melt and mourn, yea, loathe and hate thy lusts more
than the devil himself? Truly, Christian, it is strange to hear a patient
complain of his physician, when he finds his physic work effectually to the
evacuating his distempered humours, and the restoring his health, merely
because he was not so sick as some others with the working of
it. Soul, thou hast more reason to be blessing God that the
convictions of his Spirit wrought so kindly on thee, to effect that in thee
without those errors which have cost others so dear.
(2.) This
is so weak an argument, that contrariwise, the more the terrors are, the less
the sorrow is for sin while they remain. These are indeed
preparatory sometimes to sorrow; they go before this grace as austere John
before meek Jesus. But as John went down when Christ went up, his
increase was John's decrease, so as truly godly sorrow goes up, these terrors
go down. As the wind gathers the clouds, but those clouds seldom
melt into a set rain, until the wind falls that gathered them; so these terrors
raise the clouds of our sins in our consciences , but when these sins melt into
godly sorrow, this lays the storm presently. Indeed, as the loud
winds blow away the rain, so these terrors keep off the soul from this gospel
sorrow. While the creature is making an outcry, ‘it is damned, it
is damned,’ it is taken up so much with the fear of hell, that sin as sin,
which is the proper object of godly sorrow, is little looked on or mourned
for. A murderer condemned to die is so possessed with the fear of
death and thought of the gallows, that there lies the slain body, it may be,
before him, unlamented by him: but when his pardon is brought, then he can
bestow his tears freely on his murdered friend. ‘They shall look on
him whom they have pierced, and mourn.’ Faith is the
eye. This eye, beholding its sin piercing Christ, and Christ
pardoning its sin, affects the heart. The heart affected sighs.
These inward clouds melt, and run from the eye of faith with in tears; and all
this is done when there is no tempest of terror upon the spirit, but a sweet
serenity of love and peace; and therefore, Christian, see how Satan abuseth
thee, when he would persuade thee thou art not humbled enough, because thy
sorrow is not attended with these legal terrors.
