Counsel and comfort to those who, upon trial, are found sincere, but still are drooping doubting souls 3/3

Again, may be the thing God would have thee deny thyself in is thy wrath and revenge, which, to give thee a fair occasion to do with greater demon­stration of thy sincerity, he puts thy enemy into thy power, and lays him bound, as it were, under thy hand; yea, so orders it in his providence, that thou mayest have thy will on him with little noise; or, if it be known, yet the notorious wrongs he hath done thee, and some circumstances in the providence that hath brought him into thy hand, concur to give thee an advantage of putting so handsome a colour upon the business, as shall apologize for thee in the thoughts of those that hear it—making them, espe­cially, who look not narrowly into the matter, rather observe the justice of God on thy enemy's judgment befallen him, than thy injustice and sin, who wert the instrument to execute it.  Now when the way lies smooth and fair for thee to walk in, and thy own corruption calls thee forth—yea useth God’s name in the matter, to make thee more confident saying to thee, as they to David, ‘Behold the day of which the Lord said unto thee, Behold, I will deliver thine enemy into thine hand, that thou mayest do to him as it shall seem good unto thee,’ I Sam. 24:4;—if now, thou canst withstand the temptation, and, instead of avenging thyself upon the person, thy enemy, revenge thyself on thy revenge—thy greater enemy of the two —by pay­ing good into thy adversary’s bosom for the evil he hath done thee; and, when thou hast done this, canst escape another enemy in thy return, I mean pride, so as to come out of the field a humble conqueror, and wilt consecrate the memorial of this victory not to thy own [praise] but [to the] praise of God’s name—as Goliath’s sword, which was not kept by David at his own home, to show what he had done, nut in the tabernacle ‘behind the ephod,’ as a mem­orial of what God had done by it in David’s hand, I Sam. 21:9;—[if thou canst do this,] thou hast done that which speaks thee sincere, yea a high graduate in this grace, and God will sooner or later let thee know so. David’s fame sounds not louder for his victories got in the open field over his slain enemies, than it doth for that he got in the cave, though an obscure hole, over his own revenge, in sparing the life of Saul—[an incident] in which you have the case in hand every way fitted.  By the renown of his bloody battles, he got ‘a great name, like unto the name of the great men that are in the earth,’ II Sam. 7:9; but, by this noble act of his self-denial, he got a name, great, like unto the name of those that are famed for their holi­ness, in the Scripture; and rather than David shall not have the commendation of this piece of self-denial, God will send it to him in the mouth of his very ene­my, who cannot hold—though by it he proclaims his own shame and wickedness—but he must justify him as a holy righteous man.  ‘And he,’ that is Saul, ‘said to David, Thou art more righteous than I: for thou hast rewarded me good, whereas I have rewarded thee evil,’ I Sam. 24:17.

           (3.) Means. Continue thou to wait upon God in all the ways of his ordinances—every one in their sea­son.  Whenever thou comest to get the comfortable sight of thy sincerity, it is the Spirit of God that must befriend thee in it, or else, like Hagar, thou mayest sit by the well and not find it; thou mayest round thy field again and again, but find not the treasure hid in it.  It is the Spirit of God by which we ‘know the things that are freely given to us of God,’ I Cor. 2:12. Now the Spirit sits in the ordinances, as a minister of state in his offices, whither we must resort, if we will have the truth of our graces—that are our evidences for heaven—sealed to our consciences.  Thither go there­fore, yea, there wait, for thou knowest not, as the wise man saith of sowing seed, Ecc. 11:6, whether thy waiting on this or that, now or then, shall prosper and be successful to thee in the end.  It is enough to con­firm, yea, quiet and comfort thee in thy attendance, that thou art at the right door; and though thou knockest long and hearest no news of his com­ing, yet thou canst not stay so long, like Eglon’s servants, Judges 3:25, that thou needst be ashamed.  They indeed waited on a deadman, and might have stood long enough before he had heard them; but thou on a liv­ing God, that hears every knock thou givest at heaven-gate with thy prayers and tears; yea, a loving God, that, all this while he acts the part of a stranger, like Joseph to his brethren, is yet so big with mercy, that he will at last fall on thy neck and ease his heart, by owning of thee and his grace in thee.  Lift up thy head then, poor drooping soul, and go with expec­tation of the thing; but remember thou settest not God the time.  The sun riseth at his own hour, what­ever time we set it.  And when God shall meet thee in an ordinance—as sometimes no doubt, Christian, thou findest a heavenly light irradiating, and influ­ence quickening, thy soul, while hearing the word, or may be on thy knees wrestling with God—this is a sweet advantage and season thou shouldst improve for the satisfying soul.  As when the sun breaks out, we then run to the dial to know how the day goes; or when, as we are sitting in the dark, one brings a candle into the room, we then bestir ourselves to look for the thing we miss, and soon find what we in vain groped for in the dark; so mayest thou, poor soul—as many of thy dear brethren and sisters before thee have done—know more of thy spiritual state in a few moments at such a time, than in many a day when God withdraws.  Carefully therefore watch for such seasons and improve them.  But if God will hide thy treasure from thy sight, comfort thyself, comfort thy­self with this, that God knows thy uprightness, though wrapped up from thy own eye.  Say as David, ‘When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, then thou knewest my path,’ Ps. 142:3; and God will do with thee, not by the false accusations thou bringest in against thyself—as it is to be feared some have suf­fered at men’s hands—but by the testimony which his all-seeing eye can give to thy grace.

Counsel and comfort to those who, upon trial, are found sincere, but still are drooping doubting souls 2/3

3. Counsel.  Neglect no means for getting thy truth of heart and sincerity evidenced to thee.  It is to be had.  This is the ‘white stone’ with the ‘new name’ in it, ‘which no man knoweth saving he that receiveth it,’ promised, Rev. 2:17.  And I hope thou dost not think this to be such an ens rationis—an imaginary thing, as the philosopher’s stone^[33] is, [of] which none could ever say to this day that he had it in his hand. Holy Paul had this white stone’ sparkling in his con­science more gloriously than all the precious stones in Aaron’s breast‑plate.  ‘Our rejoicing is this, the testi­mony of our conscience, that in simplicity and godly sincerity...we have had our conversation in the world,’ II Cor. 1:12.  And Job, sure, was not without it when he durst, with such a confidence, appeal to the thoughts that God himself had of him, even then when God was ransacking and searching every corner of his heart by his heavy hand—‘thou knowest that I am not wicked,’ Job 10:7.  Mark, he doth not deny that he hath sin in him—that you have again and again confessed by him—but he was not wicked; i.e. a rotten‑hearted hypocrite.  This he will stand to, that God himself will not say so of him, though, for his trial, the Lord gives way to have him searched, to stop the devil’s mouth, and shame him who was not afraid to lay suspicion of this spiritual felony to his charge.

           Objection.  But may be thou wilt say, these were saints of the highest form, and though they might come to see their sincerity, and have this ‘white stone’ in their bosoms; yet such jewels cannot be expected to be worn by ordinary Christians.

           Answer.  For answer to this, consider that the weakest Christian in God’s family hath the same wit­ness in him that these had.  ‘He that believeth on the Son of God hath the witness in him,’ I John 5:10. Mark, it is indefinite, every one that believeth; not this em­inent Christian, or that, but every one.  ‘The witness’ is the same; for, the same Christ and Spirit dwell in thy heart, that do in the highest saint on earth; the same blood thou hast to sprinkle, and the same water to wash thee.  These can and will, when the Lord please, testify as much for thy grace and sincerity as it doth for theirs; only, as witnesses in a court stay till the judge call them forth, and then, and not till then, give their testimony, so do these; and God may and doth use his liberty, when he will do this.  Just as it is also on the contrary.  Every wicked impenitent sinner carries a witness in his own bosom that will condemn him; but this doth not always speak, and presently make report of the sad news it hath to tell the sinner; that is [only] when God calls a court, and keeps his private sessions in the sinner's soul, which are at his pleasure to appoint.  Only, means must not be neg­lected, of which I shall propose a few.

           (1.) Means. Reach forth, Christian—for such I must call thee, whether thou wilt own the name or no—to further degrees of grace.  The more the child grows up, the more it comes to its right complexion; and so doth grace.  There is so much slavish fear, selfishness, with other imperfections at present, like so much scurf^[34] on the face of this new‑born babe of grace, that they do hide its true favour.  This, how­ever, by degrees will wear off as it grows up.  Yea, the spiritual reason of a Christian ripens, as the whole body of grace grows, whereby he is more capable, by reflecting on his own actions, to judge of the objec­tions Satan makes against his sincerity; so that if you would not be always tossed to and fro with your own fluctuating thoughts, whether sincere or not, but grow up to higher stature, and thou wilt grow above many of thy fears, for, by the same light that thou findest the growth of thy grace, thou mayest see the truth of it also.  Though it be hard in the crepusculum, or first break of day, to know whether it be daylight or night­light that shines; yet when you see the light evidently grow and unfold itself, you, by that, know it to be day. Paint doth not grow on the face fairer than it was; nor do the arms of a child in a picture get strength by standing there months and years.  Do thy love, hope, humility, godly sorrow, grow more and more, poor soul, and you yet question what it is—whether true grace or not?  This is as marvelous a thing, that thou shouldst not know what thy grace is, and whence, as it was that the Jews should not know who Christ was, when he had made a man born blind to see so clearly, John 9:2.         

  (2.) Means. Readily embrace any call that God sends thee, by his providence, for giving a proof and experiment of thy sincerity.  There are some few ad­vantages that God gives, which, if embraced and im­proved, a man may come to know more of his own heart and the grace of God therein, than in all his life besides.  Now these advantages do lie wrapped up in those seasons wherein God more eminently calls us forth too deny ourselves for his sake.  But be ready to entertain and faithful to obey that heavenly call, and thou wilt know much of thy heart; partly because grace in such acts comes forth with such glory, that, as the sun when it shines in a clear day, it exposeth itself more visibly to the eye of the creature; as also, because God chooseth such seasons as these to give his testimony to the truth of his children’s grace in, when they are most eminently exercising it.  In this way, when does the master speak kindly to his servant and commend him, but when he takes him most dili­gent?  Then he saith, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant.’  May be, some time or other, God is calling thee to such an act of self-denial, wherein, if thou wilt answer God’s call, thou must trample upon some dear enjoyment or other, as credit, estate, or it may be a sweet child, a dear wife; yea, it may be thou canst not do the work God calls thee to but with hazard to them all—these, and more too.  Well, friend, be not sick to think of thy great strait, or disquieted at the sight of the providence that now stands at thy door. Didst thou know what errand it comes about, thou wouldst invite it in, and make it as welcome as Abra­ham did the three angels, whom he feasted in his tent so freely.  I will tell thee what God sends it for, and that is to bring thee to a sight of thy sincerity, and to acquaint thee with that grace of God in thee whose face thou hast so long desired to see. 

 This providence brings thee a chariot—to allude to Joseph’s waggons sent for old Jacob—wherein thou mayest be carried to see that grace alive, whose funeral thou hast so long kept in thy mournful soul.  And does not thy spirit revive at the thought of any means whereby thou may­est obtain this?  Abraham was called to offer up his son, and he went about it in earnest.  Now such a piece of self-denial God could not let pass without some mark of honour; and what is it he gives him but his testimony to his uprightness?  ‘Lay not thine hand upon the lad;...for now I know that thou fearest God, seeing thou hast not withheld thy son, thine only son from me,’ Gen. 22:12.  Why? God knew this before. Yes, but he speaks it that Abraham may hear, and take it from God's mouth that he was sincere.  May be thou art called to deny thy own education, and prin­ciples sucked in by it, [to deny] thy own company, and cross the judgment of those thou highly es­teemest, yea, thy own wisdom and reason, to enter­tain a truth, or take up a practice, merely upon ac­count of the word.  If thou canst do this, and that without affectation of singularity, or a humour of pride, blowing thee that way, it is an act of deep self-denial, and goes most cross to the most ingenuous natures, who are afraid of drawing eyes after them, by leaving their company to walk in a path alone, yea, [are] very loath to oppose their judgments to others, more, for number and parts, than their own; in a word, who love peace so dearly, that they can be willing to pay anything but a sin to purchase it.  In these it must needs be great self-denial; and therefore such have the greater ground to expect God’s evi­dencing their sincerity to them.  He did it to Nathan­ael, who had all these bars to keep him from coming to Christ, and believing on him; yet he did both, and Christ welcomes him with a high and loud testimony to his uprightness.  ‘Behold an Israelite indeed, in whom is no guile,’ John 1:47.

          

Counsel and comfort to those who, upon trial, are found sincere, but still are drooping doubting souls 1/3

Third Sort.  We come now to the third sort which yet remains to be spoken to, and they are doubting souls, who are indeed sincere, but dare not be persuaded to think so well of themselves.  They come from the trial which they were desired to put themselves upon, and which brings them in ignorant, not knowing whether they be sincere or no.  Now to these I would give these few words of counsel, and the Lord give his blessing with them.

1. Counsel.  Take heed Satan doth not draw you to conclude you are hypocrites because you are with­out the present evidence of your sincerity.  To say so were to offend against the generation of God’s dear children, many of whom must, if this were a true in­ference from such premises, pass the same sentence upon themselves.  For such precious souls there are, from whose eyes the truth of their grace and sincerity of their hearts is at this day hid, and yet are not without either.  The patriarchs had their money all day bound up in their sacks as they travelled, though they did not know this, till they came to their inn and opened them.  Thus there is a treasure of sincerity hid in many a soul,  but the time to open the sack, and let the soul know its riches, is not come.  Many are now in heaven—have shot the gulf, and are safely landed there—who were sadly tossed with fears all along their voyage about the truth of grace in them. Faith unfeigned puts a soul into the ark Christ; but it doth not hinder, but such a one may be seasick in the ship.  It is Christ’s work, not grace’s, to evidence itself to our eye so demonstratively as to enable us to own it.  Besides an organ fitly disposed, there is required a light to irradiate the medium; so, besides truth of grace, it is necessary that the spirit being another light, for want of which the soul is benighted in its thoughts, and must cry for another—and he no other than the Holy Spirit—to lead them into the light. This is the great messenger which alone is able ‘to show a man his uprightness.’  But, as the eye may be a seeing eye in the dark, when it doth not see any­thing, so there may be truth of grace, where there is not present sense of that truth.  Yea, the creature may be passionately hunting from ordinance to ordinance, to get that sincerity which he already hath; as some­times you may have seen one seek very earnestly all about the house for his hat, when at the same time he hath it on his head.  Well, lay down this as a real truth in thy soul, ‘I may be upright, though at present I am not able to see it clearly.’  This, though it will not bring in a full comfort, yet it may be some sup­port till that come, as a shore to thy weak house; though it does not mend it, yea it will underprop and keep it standing till the master workman comes—the Holy Spirit—who, with one kind word to thy soul, is able to set thee right in thy own thoughts, and make thee stand strong on the promise—the only true basis and foundation of solid comfort.  Be not more cruel to thy soul, O Christian, than thou wouldst—to thy friend’s, shall I say? yea, to thine enemy’s body. Should one thou didst not much love lie sick in thy house, yea so sick that, if you should ask him whether he be alive, he could not tell you—his senses and speech being both at present gone—would you pres­ently lay him out, and coffin him up for the grave, because you cannot have it from his own mouth that he is alive?  Surely not.  O how unreasonable and bloody then is Satan, who would presently have thee put thyself into the pit‑hole of despair, because thy grace is not so strong as to speak for itself at present!         
2. Counsel.  Let me send thee back upon a mel­ius inquirendum—a closer examination.  Look once again more narrowly, whether Satan—that Joab —hath not the great hand in these questions and scruples started in thy bosom about thy sincerity, merely as his last design upon thee, that he may amuse and distract thee with false fears, when thou wilt not be flattered with false hopes.  The time was thou wert really worse, and then, by his means, thou thoughtest thyself better than thou wert: and now, since thou hast changed thy way, disowned thy former confidence, been acquainted with Christ, and got some savour of his holy ways in thy spirit, so as to make thee strongly breathe after them, thou art af­frighted with many apparitions of fears in thy sad thoughts, if not charging thee for a hypocrite, yet call­ing in question the truth of thy heart.  It is worth, I say, the inquiring, whether it be not the same hand again—the devil—though knocking at another door.  No player hath so many several dresses to come in upon the stage [with], as the devil hath forms of temptation, and this is a suit which he very ordinarily hath been known to wear.  If it were thy case only, thou mightest have more suspicion lest these fears should be the just rebukes of thy own false heart; but when thou findest the complaints of many thy fellow-brethren—of whose sincerity thou darest not doubt, though thou savest not so much charity for thyself —so meet with thine, that no key though made on purpose, can fit all the wards of a lock, than their condition doth thine.  This, I say, may well make thee set about another search, to find whether he be not come forth as a ‘lying spirit,’ to abuse thy tender spirit with such news as he knows worse cannot come to thy ears—that thou dost not love Jesus Christ as thou pretendest, and deceivest but thyself to think otherwise.  Thus this foul spirit—like a brazen-faced harlot that lays her child at an honest person’s door—doth impudently charge many with that which they are little guilty of, knowing that so much of his bold accusation will likely stick to the poor Chris­tian’s spirit, as shall keep the door open to let in another temptation, which he much desires to convey into his bosom, by the favour and under the shadow of this.  And it is ordinarily this, viz. to scare the Christian from duty, and knock off the wheels of his chariot, which used so often to carry him into the presence of God in his ordinances, merely upon a suspicion that he is not sincere in them.  And [it is] better [to] stay at home, without hearing or joining with God’s people in any other duty, than [to] go up and show the naughtiness of thy heart, saith the devil. Had the serpent a smoother skin and a fairer tale when he made Eve put forth her hand to the forbid­den fruit, than he comes with in this temptation to persuade thee, poor Christian, not to touch or taste of that fruit which God hath commanded to be eaten —ordinances, I mean, to be enjoyed by thee?  Yet, Christian, thou hast reason, if I mistake not, to bless God if he suffers thy enemy so far to open his mind, by which thou mayst have some light to discover the wickedness of his design in the other temptation of questioning thy sincerity.  Dost thou not now per­ceive, poor soul, what made the loud cry of thy hypoc­risy in thy fears?  The devil did not like to see thee so busy with ordinances, nor thy acquaintance to grow so fast with God in them, and he knew no way but this to knock thee off.  Bite at his other baits thou wouldst not.  Sin, though never so well cooked and garnished, is not a dish for thy tooth, he sees; and therefore, either he must affright thee from these by troubling thy imagination with fears of thy hypocrisy in them, or else he may throw his cap at thee and give thee [up] for one got out of his reach.  Dost thou think, poor soul, that if thy heart were so false and hypocritical in thy duties, that he would make all this bustle about them?  He doth not use to misplace his batteries thus—to mount them where there is no ene­my to offend him.  Thy hypocritical prayers and hear­ing would hurt him no more than if [there were] none at all.  Neither doth he use too be so kind as to tell hypocrites of the falseness of their hearts.  This is the chain with which he hath them by the foot, and it is his great care to hide it from them, lest the rattling of it in their conscience awaken them to some endeav­our to knock it off, and so they make an escape out of his prison.  Be therefore of good comfort, poor soul. If thy conscience brings not Scripture proof to con­demn thee for a hypocrite, fear not the devil’s charge.  He shall not be on the bench when thou comest to be tried for thy life, nor his testimony of any value at that day; why then should his tongue be any slander to thee now?