My ingratitude unkindness and unfruitfulness

My Dear Brother,

Oh, the sweet whispers of God's free distinguishing kindness which I hear at times melt my soul down. Sometimes the Lord draws near to my spirit and talks with me about His love, and of the great things He has done and will do for me. And then I fall down in the dust before Him, acknowledge my iniquity, bewail my subtlety, and loath myself in my own sight for all my abominations, when I see that He is pacified towards me for all that I have done. Oh, it is well for me that not only the salvation of my soul, but all the work the Lord has designed me to do for Him in this world, stands alone upon His free sovereign grace! Oh, not an inch of service would ever have been laid out for me, if rich, free grace had not cast the lot! I wonder that the Lord should do anything for me, above all His children, because I am so vile, so unfit and unworthy! But the grace of God is His own; like Himself, infinite; and a sovereign right He has to bestow it where he pleases; He may do what He will with His own!

But oh, my ingratitude, unkindness, and unfruitfulness breaks my heart; and often I groan under an insensibility of divine kindness. And glad am I that, when rid of a body of sin and death, I shall give free grace all the glory, and never sin against it to the days of eternity! Meantime, pray for me, my brother, that I may love God greatly, increasingly, and serve Him much in the little I have aimed to do for him, and in that very little which yet may remain to be done before I enter into everlasting rest.

That the grace of Christ may be with your spirit, and His hand with you in your work, to the glory of His name, the good of His people, and your own present joy and future crown, is my hearty desire.